Love in the Time of Chaos
by sweet-disposition-101
Summary: AU.   Post Faceless, Nameless.   "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."   Lao Tzu.   A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds isn't mine, nor are the characters or the storylines original to that show. Dang it.

Author's Note: This story begins at Faceless, Nameless and continues on through Season 5. The storyline is the same, but I've altered quite a bit. This will be JJ/Hotch, and it may get potentially graphic and/or steamy, so you've been warned. Hope you enjoy!

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"_Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." –Lao Tzu_

"Any word from Hotch yet?" Jennifer Jareau knew she sounded like a broken record, but she had been notifying the team of cases for years and something was wrong. She always called her boss first, and he always answered the phone…always. JJ had never spoken to Hotch's voicemail while they were in-between cases back in Virginia, but he hadn't answered any of her calls. The team kept telling her it was no big deal, but JJ just couldn't relax without her boss being there.

"JJ, he's probably still sleeping. Canada was really tough on all of us. Hotch too. We've all slept through cases before, sometimes your body and mind just crash."

"Morgan, this is Aaron Hotchner we're talking about. Hotch! He has never not answered my phone calls before, not in all the years that we've worked together." JJ loved her team, but she was getting frustrated that no one else was worrying like her. She didn't blame the team; she knew Hotch was special to her and she was just being overly sensitive. JJ sighed and grabbed her phone, preparing to call him one more time.

Rossi reached over and stopped her. "JJ, just go get him. You're not going to calm down and it seems Aaron is hell bent on not answering his phone. We can do without you for half an hour." JJ shot Rossi a smile, not even bothering to argue with the senior agent. She knew she wouldn't stop worrying until she saw Hotch, so there was really no point in arguing anyways. She immediately grabbed her things and headed out to her car, driving slightly over the speed limit as she made her way to Hotch's apartment.

She managed to make it there in record time, considering her speed and the lack of traffic on the road. She jumped out of her car and practically sprinted the two flights of stairs to her boss's floor, stopping herself when she realized how ridiculous she was being. The team was convinced that he was just sleeping with his phone on silent, but JJ knew Hotch well enough to know that even if that was true, he'd never forgive himself for sleeping through a case.

She stood in front of his door, knocking quickly as she waited impatiently for Hotch to answer the door. When she didn't hear any noise from within the apartment, JJ immediately knocked again, louder and longer this time. She pulled out her cell phone and called him again, hearing the phone ringing on the other side of the door. There was no way Hotch didn't hear his phone, meaning there was no way he wouldn't be answering it. JJ immediately began to panic as she put her phone in her pocket and grabbed her gun, turning the doorknob and walking into the apartment.

"Hotch?"

JJ gasped and practically flew to the center of the living room where Hotch was laying on the floor, his previously white shirt soaked red in blood. She looked down at her unconscious boss, quickly checking for a pulse in his neck, relief flooding through her as she felt a faint pulse underneath her fingertips. The relief was fleeting as the sheer panic and terror overtook every inch of her while her body went into automatic work mode as she grabbed her phone. "Hotch? Hotch, please wake up! Hotch open your eyes and look at me!"

She quickly dialed 911 as she tried to fight the tears that threatened to stream down her face. "This is Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jareau with the FBI. I have SSA Aaron Hotchner, he is down and needs immediate medical attention."

"_Units are on their way, can you tell me about the extent of his injuries?"  
_

JJ gently touched Hotch's chest, trying to figure out how he'd been hurt. "I think he's been stabbed multiple times, I don't know, just get medics here now!" She hung up the phone before the operator could respond.

"Hotch? Hotch, oh God please open your eyes and look at me. Hotch!" She opened his shirt and lifted his undershirt gently, gasping at the various stab wounds that covered his entire torso. She quickly looked them all over and determined that while they were all bad, two near his stomach and one on his upper chest close to his heart were the worst. She shed her jacket and laid it across his stomach.

Hotch had yet to open his eyes, causing JJ's heart to clench tighter and tighter with each passing moment, tears cascading down her cheeks. "Hotch! Aaron Hotchner, goddamn it, open your eyes and look at me, please! Aaron!" She applied pressure to his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding until medics arrived.

Thankfully the pressure and JJ's desperation seemed to trigger something in Hotch as he groaned and slowly opened his eyes. JJ immediately leaned over him, staring into his eyes as he attempted to adjust and focus. "Hotch! Hotch, look at me it's JJ. You're going to be ok, medics are on their way."

Hotch was struggling to focus but finally managed to look JJ in the eye. "JJ?" His face grimaced in pain and JJ's heart clenched even more.

She kept the pressure on his stomach but didn't look away. "Yeah it's me, it's JJ. Hotch, I need you to stay with me, try to keep you eyes open. Hotch!" His eyes slowly started to close again, causing JJ's panic to go into maximum overdrive. "Aaron, keep your eyes open and look at me!"

Hotch opened his eyes and stared back at JJ, quelling her panic in the slightest. "Aaron, I know it's hard and I know you're in a lot of pain and I know you're tired, but you have _got_ to stay awake. You have to stay with me, please." JJ kept the pressure on his chest as she stared down at him, refusing to break eye contact.

Hotch swallowed and blinked a few times but kept his eyes on JJ. "JJ."

JJ shook her head, trying her best to keep her emotions in check. "Don't talk Aaron, the ambulance is on the way."

Hotch kept on talking, his throat dry and his breathing labored. "JJ it was…it was Foyet."

"I know, it's ok, you're going to be fine. Just stay with me Hotch, ok?"

Hotch's eyes began to flutter close and JJ felt the panic rising once again. "Aaron? Aaron, do you remember the first day we met? The day I was assigned to the BAU?"

Hotch closed his eyes, but groaned to let her know he heard her. "I was so excited to meet you and the team. I was terrified, of course, but it was everything I hoped it was. I was getting to work on Aaron Hotchner's Behavior Analysis Unit. Everyone in the PR department would have killed to take my place!"

Hotch had opened his eyes to look at her again, but JJ could tell he was fighting to stay awake. "Aaron, you have to stay awake. I know it's hard, but you can't go to sleep. You have to stay awake, ok?"

Hotch nodded, licking his lips. "You wore….black high heels."

JJ laughed, relieved beyond belief that Hotch was staying with her. "Yeah I was. I can't believe you remember that."

Hotch coughed as JJ applied more pressure on his stomach, his face grimacing before he took a deep breath. "The BAU was all men. We weren't used to…heels in the office." Hotch smiled as much as he could, JJ laughing as tears rolled down her face. "You had on…a black skirt…and a blue shirt."

JJ nodded, sniffling as she smiled down at him, praying the medics were close now that Hotch was staying awake. "You were in your classic suit. And you had on a deep red tie. I've always associated the color red with you because of that." JJ laughed and sobbed at the same time and Hotch gave her a tiny smile. "All my girl friends at the Bureau were so jealous of me; I was getting to work with the legendary Aaron Hotchner!"

Hotch rolled his eyes as best he could, making JJ laugh. Hotch coughed some more, a small amount of blood coming up, making JJ cry harder. He was slowly drifting away again. "Aaron. Aaron!" Hotch's eyes closed once again and he let out a deep breath. "Aaron! Aaron Hotchner, you stay with me! Don't you dare leave me, Aaron! Aaron!"

JJ heard medics in the hallway checking doors. "We're in here!" JJ didn't look away from Hotch for one second, not even as the medics came in and swarmed around Hotch. "He just passed out a few seconds ago, he was awake before then. He's been stabbed several times, I think eight or nine. I've been keeping pressure on the worst of them."

A medic moved to take over for JJ, gently pushing her back but JJ refused to go too far; she adjusted herself close to his head so she wasn't in the way, but she stayed close. "Aaron, please open your eyes. Please stay with me…Aaron stay with me!"

As the medics loaded Hotch onto a gurney, he groaned loudly and opened his eyes, looking all around before focusing on JJ. JJ sobbed out loud but smiled at Hotch regardless. "JJ."

"I'm here Aaron, I'm right here. You're going to be fine."

A medic came over and grabbed JJ's arm, moving her away. "Ma'am I'm sorry but you need-"

"JJ!" Everyone in the room could hear the franticness in Hotch's voice. The lead medic locked eyes with the medic holding JJ. "Get her over here."

JJ was led to the right side of the gurney, directly next to the lead medic. "She's here Agent Hotchner."

JJ leaned over and looked down at Hotch. "I'm right here Aaron."

Aaron stared intently up at JJ, relaxing significantly. "Don't…leave."

JJ shook her head and continued staring at the man lying before her, ignoring all the medics around her. "I'm not going anywhere."

The medic standing next to her moved a piece of equipment before turning to JJ. "Alright, JJ right? I want you to stay right here in this spot as we take Agent Hotchner down. Do not touch anything on the gurney, but you can hold his hand if you want. When we get in the ambulance I'm going to move you into a different position so you can't get in the way but you can still be near him. Sound good?" JJ nodded her head and the medics finally had Hotch ready to move. On the lead medic's signal, the gurney and JJ began moving swiftly down the hall, into the elevator, and finally loading Hotch into the ambulance.

The lead medic moved JJ into a position against the side of the ambulance close to Hotch's head as the rest of the team worked to stabilize him. JJ locked eyes with Hotch as soon as they were settled and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I'm right here Aaron."

Hotch looked directly into JJ's eyes, trying his best to ignore the medics working on him. "Remember…JJ, you…"

Hotch was fighting so hard to stay awake it almost broke JJ's heart. "What Aaron?"

He took a breath, licking his lips before trying again. "You…you kept calling me…sir. For months after...after you joined…the BAU. You didn't call…call me Hotch until…" Hotch began coughing uncontrollably, but he adamantly refused the oxygen mask the medics tried to put over his face. He began to fade back into unconsciousness, JJ soothingly running her hand through his hair as she tried to coax him back to her. After another, albeit smaller, coughing fit, Hotch opened his eyes, hazily focusing once again on JJ.

JJ didn't know if talking was a good idea, but it was keeping him with her, which was her main goal at the moment. "I didn't call you Hotch until after the Mickelson case." He gave her the smallest nod, and she smiled in return. "I remember Aaron."

"He…he took you…"

She kept nodding, interjecting when Hotch needed another deep breath. "And you and Reid found me. You carried me all the way to the ambulance." Hotch nodded before giving her a small smile.

"It took you…getting abducted to…to call me Hotch. And it took…took me getting stab…stabbed for you to call me Aaron." JJ didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so she ended up doing a combination of both in the same breath.

They finally arrived at the hospital, the medics getting Hotch out first before JJ jumped down, immediately rushing back to his side as they wheeled him into the gurney. Doctors and nurses rushed over, taking over for the medics as they assessed Hotch's injuries. One nurse approached JJ with a clipboard. "Are you his wife?"

JJ shook her head, still staring at Hotch. "I'm his friend. I need you to contact David Rossi. He's an FBI agent, he's listed in Aaron's emergency contacts. Tell him JJ said to get the team here right away." The nurse rushed off, JJ hoped, to find a phone. Doctors were talking over each other, shouting different orders to different people here and there.

"Aaron, I'm Doctor Trout, we're going to take you into surgery."

Hotch nodded, looking from JJ to the man and back again. "JJ…"

Dr. Trout looked over at JJ before looking down at Hotch again. "I'm sorry Aaron, she can't come with us. But you're going to be just fine, we'll take good care of you."

Hotch shook his head, glaring at the doctor leaning over him. "She'll worry…"

JJ couldn't stop the sob that burst out of her; Hotch was getting prepped for a surgery that he might not survive, yet he was still worrying about her. The doctor seemed to notice the irony and gave JJ a smile before turning back to Hotch. "We'll get her set up in a nice room so she can wait, and she'll be the first one we update. She can stay here until we get you put in a room, and then we'll move her in there so she can stay with you. Ok?" Hotch nodded and Dr. Trout rushed to prep for surgery.

"JJ…"

JJ stared down at Hotch, fighting the urge to blink so she could stare back into his eyes as long as possible. "Aaron, I'll be right here. You just stay strong, don't you dare give up on me. You come back to me, you understand?" Hotch nodded, his eyelids falling over his eyes. JJ bent down, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before they finally wheeled Hotch through the double doors leading to surgery, leaving JJ standing in a sterile hospital hallway alone.

She didn't know how long she stood there, staring past the closed double doors in front of her as millions of people rushed all around her. She didn't think of calling the team or the Bureau. She didn't think of finding the nurse she had instructed to call Rossi to see if she had followed through. She didn't think to wash her hands which were covered in Hotch's blood. She couldn't think of anything but Aaron Hotchner's face.

JJ clenched her fists, fighting the onslaught of emotions that was threatening to break through her walls, finally realizing that she was actually clenching something in her right hand. She looked down, noticing she was gripping Hotch's tie that she had, at some random point, wrapped around her hand. She unraveled it from her hand, staring down at the blood covered tie in her hands. She backed up towards a wall until she hit a plastic chair with the back of her legs, sinking down as the energy drained from her body. She just stared at the tie covered in Hotch's blood, feeling the final wall of her defense break as she realized there was a very strong possibility…she could lose Aaron Hotchner.


	2. Chapter 2

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: Thank-you guys so incredibly much for all the wonderful feedback this story is getting. I'm glad so many people think JJ should have been the one to find Hotch! I just wanted to give a shout-out and tremendous thank-you to all the people who reviewed, as well as to everyone who read and added the story to their alerts/favorites. You're all amazing and should be given a cookie!

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Dave Rossi barreled through the doors of the hospital, his badge in his hand, flashing and screaming at every person he passed. He had just gotten a phone call from a nurse saying an agent Hotchner had been brought in by an agent Jareau with multiple stab wounds and that he was currently in surgery. He approached the nurses' station, slamming his ID on the counter, startling the poor girl in front of him.

"Aaron Hotchner, where and what room?"

The young girl looked up at the senior profiler, too startled to move immediately. She finally recovered enough to find his file, stammering as she recounted that he was still in surgery with Dr. Trout and that they were prepping a room following his surgery. He instantly moved down the hallway towards surgery, his worry for his friend increasing with each step he took. The rest of the team was working on the current case; Dave had only told Reid, explaining his need to get to the hospital that instant. Reid would bring the rest of the team the moment the case was over, but for right now, they had to keep their heads in the game. Dave was almost sprinting down the hallway where his friend had just been but stopped dead as he reached the double doors leading to surgery, focusing on one particular plastic chair adjacent to the doors.

JJ stared down at the tie in her hands, both the tie and her hands covered in Hotch's blood, and the events of the past hour finally came crashing down upon her. She tried to stand up, unable to catch her breath in the tiny hallway she was currently occupying, but her body was in too much shock for her brain to communicate with her legs. She fell to the ground instantly, a heartbreaking sob escaping her lips as she finally broke down.

Dave was at her side not a moment later, crushing her against his chest as she sobbed and sobbed. JJ clenched his jacket and Hotch's tie, unable to breathe and beginning to hyperventilate; she couldn't tell if it was the situation catching up to her or her sobs that knocked the breath out of her lungs. Dave stroked her hair, encouraging her to take deep breaths in an attempt to prevent her from passing out. JJ just sobbed harder, the pain and agony she held in her chest overpowering her. Dave began to fear for her well-being and considered calling a nurse. He pulled away slightly and grabbed her face between his hands, one lone tear streaming down his face as he stared into her tear-filled eyes.

"JJ, you have to calm down or you are going to pass out. I know it's hard, but if you don't calm down I have to get a nurse over here to sedate you. You have to breathe normally, take a deep breath. Come on JJ, take a deep breath with me, I know it hurts, but you have to try to calm down sweetheart."

JJ continued to sob hysterically, clinging to Dave with all her might, but she managed to calm her breathing enough to satisfy him. The hallway was still too small and she still didn't feel like she could get enough air in her lungs. She felt dizzy and lightheaded, but she couldn't focus on her own well-being right now. The only thing she could think about was the image of Aaron Hotchner lying on his apartment floor, covered in blood, not moving…not breathing.

Dave, relieved that JJ was at least breathing normally, held her tightly to him once again, picking up her tiny frame and guiding her to a chair. He sat with her against his chest, his own tears blurring his vision. Why did it have to be Aaron? He had been through so much already, had lost so much, he didn't deserve any of this. He was the last person that deserved to be fighting for his life in one of the operating rooms behind those double doors. Aaron was one of the greatest men Dave had ever had the pleasure of knowing, and the two men had been close friends for more years than either could truly count.

While Dave's pain was intense, he couldn't imagine what the young woman in his arms was going through right now. She had known that Aaron was in trouble. Somehow, instinctually, she had just _known_ that something was wrong with Aaron, but no one believed it. She had been the one that had found him, and Dave couldn't imagine what that must have been like for her. Dave had always known the tiny blonde agent breaking down in his arms was not a force to be reckoned with, but sitting with her, imaging everything she had just gone through, he realized that she was probably the strongest one out of them all.

After what seemed like hours of simply sitting together, crying through all the pain they felt, JJ pulled away from Dave, staring down at what seemed to be a piece of fabric that was intertwined in her hands. Dave looked closer at the object in her hands, his breath catching in his throat as he realized it was Hotch's bloody tie. He tried to reach over to take it from her, but her grip immediately tightened, letting him know she was not letting it go until she was ready.

JJ couldn't look away from the tie in her hands. She felt like it was the last lifeline she had that connected her to Hotch. She knew Dave was sitting next to her, anxiously awaiting an explanation for the events that had just transpired, but she just felt so lost. She took a deep, shaky breath but didn't look at Dave.

"It was Foyet."

JJ heard the sharp intake of breath beside her and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the new set of tears brimming behind her eyelids. Dave put a hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles against her shirt in an attempt to calm them both. "Are you sure?"

JJ nodded, taking another shaky breath. "Aaron told me when he was…after I found him."

Dave nodded, maintaining the steady rhythm against her back. "JJ…what happened?"

JJ kept her eyes trained on the tie in her hands. "I knocked on his apartment door but he didn't answer. I called his cell again and could hear it through the door, so I knew he was able to hear it, even if he was asleep. I grabbed my gun and opened the door and he…" JJ had to break off as more tears fell. The image of Hotch lying on his floor stopped JJ's heart.

"It's ok JJ. Take your time."

JJ took several deep breaths, trying to get her heart to beat normally again. When she was finally able to continue, her voice cracked with every word she spoke. "He was just lying there Dave. He was just lying on his apartment floor, covered in blood. His chest wasn't moving, and I thought…I thought he was…"

Her breathing became too erratic to continue and she began hyperventilating again. Dave leaned her forward, forcing her to bend over as he kept rubbing her back. She sobbed and gasped for air, her hands going into her hair and grabbing two handfuls, pulling the roots forcefully. Dave rubbed her back with one hand while the other went to rest on her knee.

"He wasn't breathing Dave! I thought he was dead, he wasn't moving or breathing, and I didn't know what to do! I thought he was dead!" She cried harder than ever, but no sobs escaped her lips. Dave took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, fighting off his own tears.

JJ sat back against the chair, wiping her eyes with the one hand that wasn't grasping Hotch's tie. She shook her head back and forth, almost as though she couldn't stop it from moving. Her voice stopped cracking, but Dave could hear the strain it carried from her tears. She could barely speak above a whisper. "He can't die Dave. He can't, I just…it's Aaron, Dave. _Aaron_. He can't…I can't lose him Dave, we all can't lose him. I…I can't lose Aaron, I don't know what…"

Everything suddenly became abundantly clear to Dave. He actually couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. He wasn't as close to her, he tried to reason with himself, and perhaps that's why he couldn't see it. He had suspected Aaron's feelings for the blonde for quite some time, but now he was sure.

"You…you care for him don't you? More than the rest of us? He's…important…to you."

For the first time since he arrived, JJ finally looked Dave in the eye. "I'm in love with him Dave. I have been since I met him."

Dave's eyes refilled with tears at JJ's sudden confession. What JJ had just experienced with Aaron was the absolute worst horror a person could go through. Losing a loved one was excruciating, but fighting to keep them alive, watching them teeter on the edge of life and death, unable to do anything but pray that they survive…that's the world's worst torture.

"JJ, Aaron is the strongest man I know. Look at me Jennifer." JJ, who had turned away the moment Dave started to speak, hesitantly looked back at him. "I have never met a man stronger than Aaron; he will fight with everything inside of him to survive. For Jack, for the team, for you…you kept him alive. In his apartment, in the ambulance, before surgery, you were his last connection, you were the last person he was with. He will fight to survive. I've seen Aaron fight everything the world could throw at him, and JJ…I've never seen Aaron lose."

JJ nodded, a shaky breath escaping her lips. She looked down at the tie in her hands, silently praying the man beside her was right as Dave silently prayed for the exact same thing. The two sat in silence for hours outside the OR doors, Dave's hand never leaving JJ's back.

The team finally arrived, not that JJ took much notice. Dave stood as he saw them arriving, giving JJ a quick pat on her back before intercepting them, explaining as much as he could before they reached her. Reid instantly took the chair next to her, not saying anything but occupying the space so she could sit in silence. Dave took his original seat on her other side as Garcia and Prentiss sat across from them, Morgan kneeling down beside the two women, a hand on a knee of each of the girls. Garcia was sniffling and crying loudly while Prentiss was obviously fighting back tears. Morgan and Reid both had vacant, expressionless looks on their faces as though they weren't possible of feeling anything at the moment. Dave sat, glancing around at the team but always resting his eyes back on JJ, who did nothing but stare at the tie, now held delicately in her hands.

"Are you with Agent Hotchner?" Six pairs of eyes immediately snapped to the nurse who had just approached. JJ stood instantly, the rest slowly following suit. The nurse zeroed in on JJ, somehow knowing this information was slightly more important to her than the rest of the people standing in the hallway. "Are you JJ?"

JJ nodded, stepping forward slightly with the help of Dave and Reid. The nurse smiled slightly. "Agent Hotchner's surgery was a success." A collective, relieved sigh swept through the group, excluding JJ who couldn't do anything but stare at the nurse and grip the tie in her hand. "He was stabbed nine times along his torso and stomach and he lost quite a lot of blood, but surgery went very well. We're prepping a room for him up in the IC, I can take you up there if you'd like."

The group nodded and the nurse turned to lead the way, stopping and turning back to JJ. "Agent Hotchner made Dr. Trout promise that you would get an update the second he was out of surgery. Dr. Trout ended up having to swear on his own life twice before Agent Hotchner finally went under." She smiled at JJ before leading the team to the IC, Dave and Reid helping JJ walk through the hospital until they reached the hallway outside of Hotch's room. It was a small, private room with one bed, two chairs, and various machines. The team looked in, tears of happiness pooling in everyone's eyes as they saw their boss, laying on the bed, eyes closed but his chest moving up and down with each breath he took.

"He's still under from the anesthesia from the surgery, but he should wake up within a half an hour. Feel free to wait inside or wait out here in the chairs." JJ stood still, wanting to run into the room immediately but holding back. The team all turned to JJ, knowing she had to make the important first move. She had been the one to find Hotch; it wasn't fitting for any of them to see him before her.

It was Dave who eventually put his hand on the small of her back. "You go first darling. He'd want it to be you; we'll give you two a moment."

JJ wanted to glance at Dave, at her team, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from Hotch. She nodded automatically and took a step forward, slowly making her way into the room. One of the team members-she wasn't sure who but she thought she saw Morgan-closed the door partly behind her to give her and Hotch some privacy. With the noise of the hallway gone, JJ could only hear the beeping of the hospital machines and her own breathing as she sat down in the chair on the right side of Hotch's bed.

For a moment, all she could do was stare at him. Her heart swelled at the sight of him lying in a hospital bed, but she quickly realized this meant he was alive. She reached out and tentatively grabbed his hand, holding it tightly in her own. She laughed as the relief overcame her. The pain ebbed and almost completely disappeared as she realized Hotch hadn't left her. He was here and he was alive. She looked at the tie still wrapped around her hand before she looked around, leaning behind her to throw it into the garbage can.

JJ stared at Hotch for a few more moments before turning to the hallway, gesturing for the team to join her. Everyone quickly filed into the room, looking Hotch over for themselves to prove he was still alive. Every so often a comment was thrown out, but overall the team remained silent until a soft groan from the hospital bed grabbed everyone's attention.

JJ, still holding Hotch's hand with her own, sat up straighter in her chair, her eyes glued to Hotch's face. He opened his eyes once before closing them again. He tried opening his eyes again, but he wasn't able to open them again.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital."

"How did I get here?'

The team immediately turned their attention to JJ, who just continued to stare at Hotch. JJ, still too shell-shocked to answer immediately, inadvertently gave Dave an opportunity to speak first. "JJ rode with you in an ambulance."

Hotch finally managed to blink several times as his eyes adjusted to the room, noticing six pairs of eyes focused only on him. As he looked around the room at his team, his eyes finally settled on JJ. She met his gaze and smiled as Hotch gave her hand a gentle squeeze before he closed his eyes again, turning his head back to the team.

"What did he take?"

The team looked at each other puzzled before Dave spoke up. "What do you mean?"

"The Reaper always takes something from his victims. Do we know what he took?"

The team looked at each other; the conversation at hand had been one of the few times the team had spoken while Hotch was still under. Prentiss and Morgan had gone to Hotch's place after Reid told the team, hoping to find some answers. They looked at each other briefly before Prentiss spoke up. "The team photo you have on your coffee table. The picture frame was still there, but the photo was missing."

Hotch looked at Prentiss, but his eyes flickered to JJ momentarily. "What did he leave?"

"I don't know."

"He also leaves something with his victims."

"We looked over your whole apartment, nothing felt out of place."

"Where are my clothes?"

As Prentiss reached over and grabbed the medical bag holding Hotch's clothing, JJ thought to the tie that was residing in the trash can behind her. Turning her attention to Hotch as he fished out his wallet, her face paled as she saw the picture of Jack and Haley that was left behind by none other than George Foyet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

JJ's head snapped up immediately at the sound of the flat line coming from the heart monitor connected to Hotch. The rest of the team had all dispersed to locate and bring in Hotch's family but JJ couldn't leave his side. They hadn't spoken much since the team had gone after Haley and Jack, but Hotch had been awake the whole time, obviously deep in thought. JJ was deeply invested in her own thoughts until the flat line flooded her eardrums; she stood instantly and hovered over Hotch. His eyes were closed but unlike back in his apartment, JJ could see his chest rise and fall. "Hotch!"

A nurse ran in to check on Hotch, standing on the opposite side of the bed. "Agent Hotchner? Can you hear me? Agent Hotchner?"

JJ's heart beat began to return to normal when Hotch's eyes opened again, shifting between JJ, the nurse, then back to JJ before he took a deep breath. "I'm ok."

The nurse, Hotch's third nurse of the day, shot a harsh look at JJ. JJ considered this nurse to be a pain in the ass; she had tried to remove JJ twice already since the team left, but JJ wasn't going anywhere. She apparently didn't think Hotch's company was doing him any favors, even though the whole team had been cleared and encouraged to stay by Hotch's side by his surgeon and attending physician. "I'm going to need you to step out of the room."

JJ shot 'Nurse Ratched' a stare that could rival one of her boss's legendary glares. "I'm staying."

Before Ratched could respond, Hotch waved a hand between the two, repositioning himself slowly and carefully so he was slightly more upright. "I'm ok, really."

Ratched–or Beverly as her nametag labeled her–not wanting to be overruled by her patient or the blonde she was currently failing to stare down, tinkled with the machines surrounding Hotch before leaving the room, glaring at JJ one last time. JJ didn't see her walk out the door, as her attention was focused solely on the man lying on the bed in front of her. "Are you feeling ok?" JJ sat back down in the chair to the left of his bed, which was unofficially deemed her spot in the room.

Hotch nodded, licking his lips and swallowing but remaining silent. JJ, not wanting to overwhelm Hotch by just staring at him, looked down, focusing on her hand resting on the bed, close to his but not touching. The two remained silent for quiet some time before JJ's phone went off. She answered on the second ring, rushing the conversation with Morgan so she could update Hotch, who was staring at her, anxiously awaiting any news about Haley and Jack.

JJ hung up with Morgan and put her phone back in her pocket, turning her attention back to Hotch as soon as it was in its correct pocket. "They're safe. The team's bringing them here. Morgan said Haley's been updated completely and she explained enough of what happened to Jack so he won't be surprised when he gets here."

Hotch sighed, a weight visibly lifted off his shoulders at the news that Jack and Haley were safe. They returned to silence, JJ staring at his hand on the bed, wanting to reach out and hold it with her own but not willing to make the move. She desperately wanted Hotch to open up about his attack, to her or to anyone else, but he seemed adamant against the idea of opening up about any of it. The last thing JJ wanted to do was to push Hotch to talk, even if she thought it was in his best interest; he'd talk to someone when he was ready. So the pair simply remained silent as they waited for Hotch's family to arrive with the team, JJ staring at their hands resting close on the bed while Hotch stared off into space.

"I have to send them away." JJ looked up, barely catching Hotch's comment. He looked so dejected staring off into nowhere. "Jack and Haley. They aren't safe here anymore."

JJ knew Hotch would kill himself before he let anything happen to either Jack or Haley, but she couldn't imagine what the thought of being away from them was doing to him. "He might not come after them Hotch. He left a photo of them but he took the team photo. We don't know what his next move will be."

Hotch stared straight at JJ, his voice still low and filled with emotion. "Do you think I should send them away?"

JJ had never wanted to lie so badly in her life, but staring into the eyes of the man in front of her, she knew she couldn't. She couldn't lie to Hotch; she never had and she never would. "I think…there's a possibility Haley and Jack could be in danger. And I think if that's the case, then they need to be kept safe at all costs."

The pair simply stared at each other for a moment, both set of eyes filled with pain. Hotch was losing his family, his only son, and JJ couldn't help him keep them. They both knew it was for the best, but that truth didn't make it any easier to bear. Haley and Jack had to be protected, and they were safer away from the action, away from any danger that might find any of them. Hotch couldn't risk losing Jack or Haley, and anything that was precious to Hotch was in turn precious to each member of the team. Jack and Haley had to be put into protective services.

Hotch took a long, deep breath before nodding, both of them turning away from each other at the sound of Morgan's voice in the hallway outside Hotch's door. JJ turned back to Hotch, meeting his eyes and nodding quickly before she headed out into the hall. She saw the team approaching with Haley and Jack and she had never been quite so relieved to see them. It was apparent by the look on her face that Haley had been updated on her and Jack's future arrangements. She was fighting to remain strong, but the anger and terror still emanated from her entire body. Jack looked absolutely devastated, and JJ was sure Jack had been informed that he and his mommy were going away for a while, meaning he couldn't see his daddy for some time. The look on the little boy's face broke JJ's heart.

JJ shot both of them a small smile, Jack's slightly bigger than the one she gave Haley. Jack gave her a tiny wave and JJ gave him one in return. "Hi Jack."

Haley and Jack stopped in front of JJ with the rest of the team. "Hi Miss Jar-o."

JJ gave him another smile before turning to Haley and the rest of the team. Morgan stepped forward with a man JJ had never met before; from his appearance JJ could easily guess that this was the U.S. Marshall that had been assigned to protect Hotch's family. "JJ, this is U.S. Marshall Sam Kassmeyer. Sam, this is JJ, she's the other agent on our team." JJ and Sam shook hands before JJ turned back to Haley.

"You should go see Hotch. I'll stay with Jack while you talk." Haley looked away, trying hard not to break down in front of everyone. After several deep breaths she managed to compose herself again, nodding to JJ before sitting Jack down in one of the plastic chairs lining the hallway.

"Jack, I'm going to talk to Daddy. Stay with Miss Jareau ok?"

Jack nodded quickly. "Can I see Daddy too?"

Haley didn't answer right away; she remained quiet for a moment, leaning forward to kiss her son on the cheek. "I'm going to talk to him first, and then you can see him before we go, ok?"

Jack nodded more enthusiastically, obviously happy to get to see his father. JJ took the seat next to Jack as the team and Marshall Kassmeyer began discussing Hotch's family and their relocation as Haley headed into Hotch's room. JJ looked down at the little boy sitting beside her who was currently staring intently at his shoes.

"You ok Jack?"

Jack nodded, swinging his feet back forth. JJ bit her lip and ran her hand through his hair; she felt so bad for the small boy sitting next to her. "Jack…do you think you could do me one little favor?"

Jack glanced quickly at JJ before looking back at his shoes, taking a moment before nodding his little head again. "You know that you and your mommy are going on a little trip?" He nodded once again but wouldn't meet her eyes. "Well, your daddy always gets really sad when he has to go away on a trip and be away from you for a long time. And he's going to be really sad that you're going away and that he won't get to see you."

Jack finally looked away from his feet and stared at JJ. "I don't want Daddy to be sad."

"I know you don't sweetheart. But I want you to make sure you tell your daddy how much you love him. And I want you to remember that your daddy loves you more than anything and that you'll get to see him really soon. Can you do that for me sweetheart?"

Jack didn't answer right away but instead seemed to be in deep thought about the favor JJ was asking of him. JJ couldn't help but notice how much Jack resembled his father, and she thought he was simply the most adorable thing. He finally looked at her again and nodded his head. "Ok."

JJ gave Jack a true smile and ran her hands through his hair one more time just as Haley was coming out of Hotch's room to get him. Jack jumped up immediately and took his mom's hand, turning to wave at JJ as he walked away. JJ took a shaky breath and rubbed her hands over her face, resting her chin on her palms as she thought of and prayed for the man in the hospital room, the man who meant more to her than he'd ever be able to understand.

_

* * *

_

Ring Ring!

JJ stared at the clock for a moment longer before reaching out to grab her cell phone on her bedside table. The team had been kicked out of the hospital after visiting hours ended, despite the whole team's obstinate protests. Rossi and Morgan had each taken one of JJ's arms and directed her out of the hospital before she could punch Nurse Ratched in her face. She had spent the last several hours taking a longer shower, cooking herself a meal that she didn't take a single bite out of, pacing around her apartment, and lying in bed, not sleeping but simply staring at her alarm clock as though to will time to speed up so she could return to the hospital. She flipped her phone open without even checking the name that was flashing on her screen.

"Agent Jareau." If it wasn't a case she was going to hang up.

"_JJ."_

JJ sat up immediately, her heart racing. "Hotch, are you ok?'

She heard Hotch clear his throat on the other end before she heard his voice again through the receiver. _"I'm fine. Did I wake you?"_

"No, no I wasn't sleeping. Are you sure you're ok, is everything alright?"

"_Yes, everything's fine…I just couldn't sleep."_

JJ sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. "Do you want to talk…about today?" JJ felt terrible for broaching the topic of Hotch's attack his first night in the hospital, but she could still offer support without being pushy.

Hotch sighed. JJ could imagine how exhausted he must be and as much as she loved the fact that he had called her from his hospital room, she'd rather be tossing and turning as he slept soundly. _"No I really don't."_

JJ nodded and ran a hair through her hair, dropping the subject for another time; she wouldn't push Hotch. "Does Nurse Ratched know you have your cell phone or did you have to keep it hidden until she went off duty?"

"_Nurse Ratched?"_

JJ blushed slightly, quickly realizing that no one knew about her disapproval of one of Hotch's nurses. "Um yeah. The last nurse you had, the one who kicked us all out."

Hotch quietly chuckled on the other end of the phone. _"So you don't approve of Nurse Reinhert then?"_

"She's an absolute bitch Hotch."

JJ smiled and laughed a little when she heard a genuine laugh across the receiver. _"Yeah, she's a pain in the ass._" JJ heard a small groan, and sat up a little straighter.

"Hotch, you ok?"

"_Yeah I'm fine. Just had to move and get comfortable."_

JJ bit her lip and debated about trying to get Hotch to open up. "You sure you don't want to talk about anything?"

JJ heard the sigh on the other end of the phone and automatically knew they weren't going to talk about anything important tonight. _"Actually, I did have a question about something from earlier today."_ JJ could hear Hotch shift and move around again and take another deep breath before he continued. _"'The legendary Aaron Hotchner'?"_

JJ turned beet red and her body temperature rose about ten degrees in three seconds. She instantly remembered trying to keep Hotch awake by talking about her transfer to the BAU, but she hadn't realized at the time that she had referred to him as 'legendary'. "What?"

JJ heard his quiet laugh again and knew she hadn't successfully played dumb. _"In my apartment, when you were talking about joining the BAU. You said your girl friends were jealous you were getting to work with 'the legendary Aaron Hotchner'. Something I need to know about the PR department at the Bureau?"_

JJ was suddenly glad she and Hotch were only talking on the phone; she hadn't blushed this badly since she was a little girl. "Oh yeah. It's really nothing…"

"_JJ."_

JJ nervously laughed to herself as Hotch pulled out the 'Unit Chief, Boss Man' voice he used at work, as Garcia had loving coined the tone of voice. "Well, um…you're pretty well known throughout the Bureau, I mean you're in charge of the BAU and a lot of people think you'll take over as Director at some point so everyone pretty much knows who you are and everything. And when I was transferred to the BAU, all my girlfriends…got jealous because they, um….theyallthinkyou'rereallygoodlooking."

"_The women in the PR department think I'm good looking?"_ JJ was glad that Hotch was so incredibly amused by this. She was currently sinking as far into her pillows as she could, trying to will the blush that she was sure was now covering her entire body away.

"Um…yes."

Hotch genuinely laughed again and JJ gave a nervous chuckle again. _"Well then, guess it's nice to be thought of so highly. I'll have to inform Dave of my success in the PR department so he can go confirm it for himself."_

"Oh none of them would ever admit it. They're all completely intimidated by you."

Hotch chuckled again. _"Seriously?"_

JJ smiled, the blush slowly leaving her face. "Yeah, you scare the hell out of them. They're impressed and shocked that I can actually function working on your team. None of them could ever even say hello to you in the hallway."

Both ends of the phone laughed, an action neither thought would have occurred given the events of the day. _"Thanks for answering your phone JJ."_

JJ smiled and knew Hotch was smiling on the other end of the phone. "Of course. I'm…I'm glad I got to talk to you."

"_Is the team going into the office tomorrow?"_

JJ scoffed; of course Hotch would be focused on work and the BAU while being in the hospital. "No Hotch, we're taking care of you first. We've all been granted leave for the next few days so the team will be at the hospital with you for the next few days."

"_JJ-"_

"The team will be there tomorrow Hotch." JJ knew the silence on the other end of the phone meant that while he wasn't happy, but Hotch accepted that he couldn't argue with her. "I'll be there with you all day tomorrow. It was hard to leave today." JJ didn't know why her tone of voice softened so much as she confessed how hard it was to be away from him but she quickly tried to recover. "It was hard for all of us. The team I mean."

Hotch stayed silent for a moment, matching JJ's soft tone when he did speak. _"It was easier having you all here."_

JJ smiled again. "We're all here for you whenever you need any of us. This team is a family, you know that."

"_Yes I do."_ JJ heard Hotch yawn moments before she yawned herself.

"You need to get some rest Hotch."

"_Yeah. So do you."_

JJ paused, not quite sure what was off with Hotch's tone of voice. "You ok Hotch?"

JJ sat silently on the phone, waiting for Hotch to respond. _"Thank-you. For today. For everything you did."_

JJ was taken back by Hotch's gratitude. "Hotch you have nothing to thank me for."

"_JJ you saved my life today."_

"You have NOTHING to thank me for Hotch. You know that." How could Hotch honestly think that she needed him to thank her for anything? They would take a bullet for each other every time. It was the undying loyalty and care the team had for every other member that made them function so well; any member of the team would move Heaven and Hell to save another.

JJ heard the sigh on the other end of the phone. _"Thank-you JJ."_

JJ took a shaky breath herself, willing herself to stay strong and not cry. "You're welcome Hotch."

"_I'll see you tomorrow?"_

JJ nodded even though he couldn't see her. "I'll be there as earlier as I can."

"_Ok. Goodnight JJ."_

"Goodnight Hotch."


	4. Chapter 4

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

"I appreciate the fact that you're the medical expert in this situation, but I will not have a nurse stay with me."

JJ sighed and shook her head; she was truly beginning to see how big of a pain in the ass Aaron Hotchner could be. He'd been recovering quickly in the hospital for a few weeks and the doctors were attempting to release him earlier than normal. Unfortunately for all involved, he wasn't being nearly as cooperative as he needed to be in order to be safely released from the hospital.

Hotch was attempting to stare Dr. Trout down with his legendary Agent Hotchner glare, but the good doctor was not backing down. "Aaron, you're not far enough in your recovery to be on your own for significant amounts of time. The only way you're leaving this hospital is by having someone stay with you full-time for at least the next week, if not several. And I'm _not negotiating with you on this._" Hotch's mouth, which had opened to retaliate, clamped shut as he finally seemed to realize he wasn't going to win this.

"I'm not having a nurse stay with me." JJ rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air, officially classifying Hotch as the most stubborn man she had ever met. Dr. Trout seemed to be secretly agreeing with her as his frustration slowly started to surface.

"Alright here are your official options once again: one, you stay in the hospital for at least another week, if not more. Two, you have nurse stay with you but you recover at home. Choice is yours, but it's one of those two, period."

JJ could see Hotch prepping to argue with the nice doctor standing his ground, so she quickly interjected before Hotch could counter. "What if I stayed with Hotch?"

Both men turned their attention to JJ, Dr. Trout contemplating her suggestion while Hotch stared at her in complete surprise. "No."

JJ raised an eyebrow, staring down at Hotch. "No?"

Hotch shook his head and turned back to Dr. Trout. "No." JJ remained neutral, refusing to let the slight hurt she was feeling seep through her composure.

Dr. Trout looked between the two, a subtle smirk on his face, before settling on Hotch again. "Actually, JJ's suggestion isn't a bad one. There we go, we found option three. Hospital, nurse, or JJ. You're not staying on your own yet."

Hotch's face remained absolutely stoic. "I'm not having someone baby-sit me."

Dr. Trout chuckled lightly, earning an even more intense glare from Hotch. "Well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news Aaron, but yes you are. The only thing you get to decide is who gets to do it. Personally, I'd pick a pretty lady like JJ to take care of me over staying in this place, but that's just my own opinion."

JJ had never seen Hotch glare at someone so intensely. There were UNSUBs who hadn't made Hotch this angry. Hotch quickly glanced at JJ before returning his sole focus to Dr. Trout. "I'm not putting JJ out like that."

JJ would have smacked her boss right across the face but she wasn't sure if she could get written up for that. "Hotch, I wouldn't have offered to stay with you if you would be putting me out. I offered which means I'm happy to do it." Hotch had started shaking his head before she even opened her mouth, which just made the hurt in JJ's chest even worse. "Hotch."

The tone of JJ's voice made Hotch's head stop as he finally looked at her. The look on her face made him want to smack himself; while she tried her absolute best to hide any trace of it, Hotch knew JJ well enough to see the pain his refusal was causing her. "If you really don't want me to stay with you, that's fine. But I'm more than willing to stay with for as long as you need someone. I just want you to get better."

The large part of his heart that JJ had occupied for years was screaming at him to stop hurting her. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, nodding his head in acceptance of her offer.

Dr. Trout was all smiles. "Fabulous! Great choice if I do say so myself." Hotch truly respected the doctor who had saved his life, but at the moment he was contemplating how badly it would set back his recovery if he were to strangle the good doctor. He turned to JJ and began explaining to her that a nurse would go over everything with her before they discharged him, but Hotch didn't focus on the conversation. The only thing he could honestly focus on was the fact that JJ would be staying with him for the next week, if not longer.

Hotch hadn't failed to notice how attractive his media liaison was the moment he laid eyes on her, but the attraction never went further than an appreciation of her beauty and a genuine liking of her as a person. He never would have betrayed his marriage to Haley by being attracted to anyone, even during their rough patches, but as soon as his marriage truly ended, the attraction that had been boiling inside of him for years erupted. He tried to fight it briefly before he realized it was utterly pointless; JJ had wormed her way into his heart years ago and she was definitely there to stay. He never had any intention of telling her, too attached to her to risk losing her. He loved every member of his team, but he needed JJ like he had never needed anyone in his life. Pursuing an intimate relationship, especially with no indication that she remotely felt the same, could easily kill their relationship, and he would never risk that.

Hotch knew living with her was going to be both wonderful and terrible. Getting to be with her almost every second of every day, secretly pretending that they would happily share that apartment for the rest of their lives, was going to be heaven…until he had to watch her leave at the end of his recovery.

Dr. Trout began speaking to him before he left the room, but Hotch just nodded, not even bothering to listen. He continued to stare off into space, thinking about the girl standing in the room who had moved to the seat beside him. The sound of her voice was the only thing that finally pulled him out of his own head. "If you don't want to stay with you I completely understand."

JJ wanted to be there for Hotch through his entire recovery, and while she felt selfish for wanting him to ask her to be the one to take care of him, she couldn't stop herself from feeling hurt by the idea that maybe he just didn't want her to be that person. His eyes softened as soon as they landed on her face, but there was still an edge to his voice as he spoke. "It's fine JJ. Better you than someone else."

JJ nodded and looked away, trying to convince herself that Hotch's opposition to her staying with him stemmed from his stubborn streak of keeping everything bottled up and not accepting any help from any one ever. She quickly excused herself from the room to call Emily so she could take her belongings over to Hotch's apartment so they wouldn't have to make a stop. After hanging up with Emily and calming herself down, a nurse approached her outside of Hotch's room. As the nurse explained to JJ how to handle Hotch's recovery from home, Dr. Trout and a nurse went through his official discharge from the hospital before wheeling him down to the SUV waiting for the two of them.

JJ had help getting Hotch into the SUV and she jumped into the driver seat, driving as carefully as possible to his apartment. Neither one spoke and JJ could tell that Hotch was terribly unhappy with their current situation. JJ couldn't understand why he was so against her staying with him, but she didn't figure out how to appropriately breach the subject before they arrived at his apartment. JJ managed to rush out of the SUV as Hotch was attempting to get out of the car on his own. "Here, let me help."

"I'm fine JJ." JJ's head jerked up at the tone he was using with her; it was the tone of voice he used on a crime scene, the same voice that warned everyone in the vicinity that he was not in the mood for anything at all. JJ regained her footing and moved to the passenger side, committed to helping Hotch whether he wanted her help or not. It took quite a bit of effort to successfully get him on the ground, so he didn't protest too much as she helped him to his apartment. As soon as they were both inside, Hotch bolted away from her as she moved to shut the door behind her. By the time she turned back around Hotch was closing the door to the bathroom, leaving JJ standing in his living room alone.

JJ tried as hard as she could to stay calm, but standing in the room where she had found Hotch was eating her alive. She quickly berated herself for focusing on her own selfish issues and not Hotch before she moved over to the door. "Hotch? Do you need anything, can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine JJ." JJ took a deep breath, willing herself to not get emotional about how angry he sounded at the mere fact that she was in the apartment with him.

"Ok, I'll be out here. If you need anything, I'm right here."

JJ waited for a few moments before she accepted that he wasn't going to answer her. She walked back to the living room, carefully avoiding the spot where she had found him. Someone–Morgan and Dave she imagined–had come by and thoroughly cleaned the apartment, but JJ didn't need a giant puddle of blood to know where Hotch had been. JJ sat on the couch and patiently waited for Hotch to exit the bathroom, her eyes avoiding _that_ spot at all cost.

Unfortunately, Hotch decided to practically lock himself in the bathroom to get away from her; the apartment was silent so JJ knew he was simply staying in the bathroom to put space between the two of them. As time continued to pass, JJ was growing more and more upset with Hotch for acting the way he was, but she was also getting pissed off. She understood he was going through a hard time, but did he honestly think he could get through this on his own?

After almost an hour Hotch must have realized he couldn't live in his bathroom, finally exiting the room before walking straight past JJ, still sitting on the couch, ignoring her completely as he entered his kitchen. JJ figured following him would just piss him off more, so she stayed on the couch as she called out to him. "Do you want me to cook something?"

Hotch stayed in the kitchen. "No."

The anger was getting worse, but JJ tried to keep it under wraps. "Can I get you anything?"

"No."

JJ finally couldn't stand it; she stood up from the couch but she was shaking so hard she didn't even attempt to move. "Look, I get that me being here is just a God awful idea to you but I'm just here to make sure you get better!"

Hotch appeared in the door leading from the kitchen to the living room, staring at JJ so intently she almost took a step back. "Don't start with me."

JJ was sick and tired of watching Hotch go through this alone, even if it was his own damn fault. "Hotch, I understand you went through-"

"You have no idea what I went through, JJ." His voice was completely neutral, but JJ could hear the undertone of anger.

"I know I don't understand; none of us do. But I can understand that it was awful and-"

"JJ you don't understand anything." Hotch never raised his voice but only because he didn't have to; JJ knew what his current intensity meant, and while it partially terrified her that it was directed at her, she knew he needed to get emotional about what had happened to him. Just because he was remaining calm and neutral didn't mean JJ wasn't nearing hysterics.

"Then explain it to me! I'm right here Hotch, I want to help you, I want you to talk to me!"

Hotch moved out of the doorframe and walked towards JJ as she fought to stay still and not take a step back. She had sworn she wouldn't push him but she was doing just that and they both knew it.

"JJ…you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I'm handling this as I want to handle it and I don't want to talk about it. Drop. It." If anyone else had spoken those words to her, they would have screamed them. The intention wasn't lost on JJ.

"But you're not handling it Hotch! You bottle everything up and close off from everyone and you _think_ that's handling it but it's not! You need to talk about what happened!"

"JJ drop it now!"

"Hotch the team is terrified that you're bottling this up! You're not going to get over this until you talk about it!"

Hotch took a step closer to her and JJ did take a minor step back; she'd never seen such a forceful look on his face. "I was stabbed nine times by a serial killer in my own apartment." JJ flinched as he spoke, making each word separate and distinct. "And you and the damn team want me to _get over it_?"

JJ looked back, determined to stay strong and break through his defense, no matter how difficult it was. "We want you to be ok! We want our boss and our friend back. We don't want to lose you!"

Hotch barked out a sarcastic laugh. "JJ I'm telling you right now. Let. This. Go. Now."

JJ shook her head, trying to stand straighter as her hands shook by her side. "No."

Hotch took another step and now stood directly toe-to-toe with JJ, who didn't back down. "Let. It. Go."

JJ shook her head, her eyes still locked with his. "Not until you talk about what happened."

Hotch took a deep breath and continued to stare at her for a moment before turning his back on her and moving away. JJ knew he was using his last defense to wall himself back up, and if he succeeded she'd lose him completely.

"Aaron, I thought you were dead!" JJ could hear the desperation and pain in her voice, and she assumed that it was her tone rather than her words that stopped him before he moved down the hall. Tears began pooling in her eyes and she didn't make any move to stop them. "When I first got here, you were just lying in the middle of the floor and I thought you were dead. It took so long for you to take a breath. You started to pass out after I called the paramedics and I just kept thinking, 'he's dead, he won't make it until they get here.' In the ambulance you started to fade out again and I _knew_ you weren't going to make it to the hospital."

JJ was openly sobbing but she couldn't stop. "Then they wheeled you away from me and I just kept thinking 'he's not going to make it.' I kept thinking of how I would tell the team, how I would tell Jack, how I would tell Haley, how I'd tell Sean. I kept thinking that we couldn't go on without you, that I wouldn't know what to do if you didn't make it. I had no idea what I was supposed to do without you."

Hotch finally turned around, looking JJ square in the eye. He had tears forming in his eyes as he watched tears run down JJ's face but she kept talking. "You have no idea how many people rely on you, how many people need you, how many people _love _you. Your team, your family, we all need you in order to function Aaron. We can't go on without you. You…you don't…"

JJ began to sob hysterical, and she had to grab the couch to keep from falling down. Hotch was at her side in an instant, tears finally escaping his eyes as he sat them carefully on the floor, holding JJ close to him as they both cried, both of their defenses broken down beyond repair. They held on to each other, completely vulnerable, and cried over the tragedy that they both had to recover from…together.

**Author's Note:** I skipped all the hospital stuff because I just didn't want to write about Hotch being stuck in a hospital bed as JJ and the team visited him. But now Hotch gets to be functional and recovering at home with JJ!


	5. Chapter 5

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: A lot of this chapter is a recreation of the events of "…And Back" and "Faceless, Nameless," and I debated about removing it all together, but I really love this chapter. I'm really proud of it and I think there's a lot of JJ/Hotch in it, so I decided to leave it in. If you've seen those episodes and don't want an expansive step-by-step recreation of it, feel free to skip this chapter, but I'd love if you read it and would definitely appreciate any reviews on it!

[Sorry this is a long note!] Also, I've been getting a lot of questions about Will and Henry, so I'll go ahead and clarify: Henry was never born in this story. JJ and Will are no longer together, and JJ and Hotch do have a conversation about Will and JJ's relationship later in the story. I probably should have clarified that earlier, but there is a (brief) conversation about it later. It's kind of an important conversation, so it happened later on.

* * *

After running out of tears and devouring a warm, JJ-home-cooked meal, JJ refilled their large cups of water and walked back out to the living, sitting herself on the couch right next to Hotch where she had been for the past few hours minus the short time she spent in the kitchen. She handed over Hotch's cup as she took a large drink from her own, holding her cup in her lap as Hotch, after consuming almost half of his in one drink, set his on the coffee table in front of him. He leaned back against the couch, his head resting on the back of it, face turned towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. JJ tucked her legs underneath her, her whole body tilted towards the man she was currently sharing the couch with.

After JJ's breakdown, the two had held each other for God only knows how long, neither speaking a single word; they had simply relished in the comfort of each other as they cried themselves out. They had made small talk during the meal, but now they were sitting on the couch together with no distractions and no excuses.

JJ tried to focus on the glass in her hands but her eyes kept flickering back to Hotch's face, who kept his eyes closed as he focused on his breathing. After a few moments of silence, Hotch sighed heavily and opened his eyes without looking away from the ceiling.

"I woke up to you calling my name." JJ's eyes were glued to his face. He took another deep breath but still didn't look over at the woman next to him. "As…as sad as it is, I'm not really used to people using 'Aaron.' With the exception of Dave and the few times I see Haley when we pass Jack between us, it's always 'Hotch', no matter where I am." He finally turned his head and met JJ's eyes. "You kept calling me Aaron."

JJ nodded and looked down quickly before clearing her throat, her eyes returning momentarily to his face. "I was so desperate for you to wake up." Hotch nodded himself before turning back to the ceiling, his voice soft and low, making it sound husky which sent an involuntary shiver down JJ's spine.

"I took my gun off the moment I walked in here that night." JJ could see Hotch's eyes slightly gaze over as he lost himself to the memory of that night; she stayed quiet, knowing that he needed time to simply talk the entire event out. "I walked in, put my briefcase down, my keys down, and I took my gun off. It was just sitting on the table the whole time."

Hotch pulled his head off the back of the couch and stared straight ahead, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. JJ, moving to hold her glass in one hand, put her other hand on Hotch's leg, silently urging him to continue. After a moment he pulled his hand away from his face and turned slightly towards JJ, careful not to move the leg JJ's hand was resting on as he stared off into space.

"The next thing I knew he was standing behind me with that mask on, a gun pointed straight at me. He reminded me of the deal and then shot the wall next to me." JJ instinctively wanted to look behind her at the wall that used to have a giant bullet hole in it before Morgan patched it up, but she kept her eyes glued to Hotch. "When he went to take off the mask I reacted, but…" He took another deep breath before he continued on, JJ's hand rubbing small circles on his leg. When he finally spoke again it was barely a whisper. "I didn't even see the knife before he stabbed me the first time. And I just remember how _painful_ it was…at first it was all I could really focus on. Each stab was just as painful as the first. And I lied to you in the hospital…" He quickly glanced up at her, holding her gaze for a moment before lowering his head. "I remember every one of them."

JJ leaned forward to set her drink on the table, moving her hand from his leg before grabbing one of his hands and holding it tightly between her own. He turned his head to look at their hands before he met her eyes, holding them for a moment longer than previously before he continued. "He kept talking to me. I didn't want to listen, but I needed something to focus on or I would've passed out sooner. He was trying to get into my head; he kept talking about the team, about profiling. He…"

Hotch stopped and began taking labored breaths. JJ knew he was struggling to continue, so she held his hand even tighter, leaning closer to him to try and catch his eye. "I'm right here Aaron."

JJ didn't know if it was the sound of her voice or the use of his first name that made him lock eyes with her, but as soon as they looked at each other neither broke contact. Aaron took one more deep breath and pushed through, desperate for JJ to understand what he had happened to him. "He…he showed me his scars. He laid the knife right on top of me but I wasn't strong enough to grab it. When he came back into focus he had his shirt off and…and he showed me what I would look like when he was done."

JJ thought she had no tears left in her body, but somehow another escaped her eye as Aaron spoke. "I don't know why he stopped…he just got up. He got up and fucking walked out the door."

JJ knew Aaron needed a break from speaking so she squeezed his hand before speaking lowly, her voice raw. "Aaron, the fact that you survived is a testament to how strong you are. Don't turn away from me." Aaron had turned his head as soon as JJ tried to reassure him, but hesitantly turned back to look her in the eye. "You are not weak because you couldn't fight him off. There isn't a weak bone in your body. You fought to survive and you beat him; he left you there with nine stab wounds, so he knew there was at least the possibility that you wouldn't survive. But you did. You stayed alive."

Aaron nodded his head, not completely believing her but beginning to let her words sink in. "When I was in the hospital…I kept thinking about what would have happened if I had still had Haley and Jack with me. If they had been here…"

"They weren't. You always tell the team that we can't focus on the what-ifs. Don't start doing that yourself; Jack and Haley weren't with you. They're safe."

"Do you think I did the right thing? Sending them away?" JJ could hear the pain that was so evident in his voice and she took a deep breath before she spoke.

"Yes." His eyes softened minimally as she affirmed his decision. "We don't know what Foyet's next move will be, but…there is a possibility that he'll target Jack and Haley. And if he doesn't, if he goes after you again or the team, then at least you'll know for certain that they're safe until we catch him. Sam will keep them safe Aaron. As hard as it is to be away from them, you did the right thing."

Aaron lowered his head and breathed a sigh of relief, slightly relaxing at her words. JJ was the only person in the world how could calm him down in a single instant. "I hate that I put Haley in this situation."

JJ nodded, berating herself for feeling a jolt of pain attack her heart as Aaron spoke about his ex-wife. "It's hard to be away from someone you love."

Aaron nodded but not in agreement. "I hate that Haley's in this position because of me. I'll always love her because of our past and the fact that she's the mother of my son but…our lives are better separate. Both of our lives. This proves it. I just hate involving her in all of this again." JJ's heart jumped slightly; the pain he felt from Haley stemmed simply from who he was as a person and his guilt at putting her in a dangerous situation, not from an undying love for her.

Aaron took a shaky breath, squeezing JJ's hands tightly with his own, his eyes filled with tears as he met hers once again. "I miss Jack."

JJ nodded, knowing that she couldn't even begin to imagine how painful it was for Aaron to be away from his son, to not even be allowed to know where he was. "We'll get him back Aaron. He won't be gone long."

Aaron shook his head, willing himself to not break down again. "You don't know that."

"Yes I do." Aaron turned back at the ferocity in JJ's voice. "I know you. You won't stop until you get Foyet, and with the team behind you, it won't be long. He'll be back soon Aaron, I promise."

JJ moved her hand up to wipe the stray tear that had escaped from his cheek, and he caught her hand with his free one, holding it in his hand against his face for a moment before moving both their hands, hers still engulfed in his, down to his lap. He stared directly into her eyes as she stared directly into his. "You have no idea how badly I needed you during all this, do you?"

JJ's eyes widened at Aaron's sudden confession and her heart began to race. Aaron squeezed her hand and gave her a small but beautiful smile. "I know you told me not to thank you, but JJ…I wouldn't have survived without you. I _couldn't_ have survived without you. You saved my life…in more ways than one."

JJ was crying once again, amazed at the man sitting before her once again. "Aaron you're…you're important to me. I'll always be here for you. No matter what, I'm always right here with you."

Aaron nodded and seemed to contemplate something before reaching forward, wrapping his arms around JJ's shoulders as he brought her chest flush against his. JJ stiffened momentarily from the shock of his movements and the fear of bumping one of his injuries, but she relaxed quickly and wrapped her arms around his back, resting her face against his shoulder and his neck.

They held each other for a moment, both savoring the feel of the other before JJ spoke. "What do you think Foyet's next move will be?"

Aaron sighed and held JJ tighter for a split second before releasing her, pulling back slightly so he could look at her, one of his hands still entwined with one of hers. "I honestly don't know. I don't think he'll waste time orchestrating another direct attack on me; with taking the team photo I had and leaving the photo of Jack and Haley…"

JJ nodded, knowing it was hard for Aaron to admit the point he was making. "You think he'll come after one of us." Aaron nodded his head, staring down at the carpet.

"He's never taken or left items of any significant value; he used them as his signature but they were random. This was different, so we have no way of knowing which it'll be. I know Jack and Haley are safe, wherever they are, but the team…"

"Aaron, you can't destroy yourself worrying about the team. We're all trained to handle UNSUBs like Foyet. We'll get through this."

Aaron continued to look away, somewhat ashamed of himself at the thought that was currently running through his head. One look at JJ assured him that she would never think less of him, regardless of what he was thinking. "I told him I would kill him as he stabbed me, but I was so focused on gaining the upper hand I didn't even know what I was saying. But I swear to God, if he touches any of you I _will_ kill him."

Aaron watched JJ's face intently as he made his admission but she didn't react in the slightest; no flinch, no flash of disappointment or disgust in her eyes, no downturn of her lips. She simply continued to stare at him as if his confession didn't turn her stomach at all. "Aaron he won't get any of us." She gave him a genuine smile as she squeezed her hand, her eyes lighting up as the smile reached her eyes. "But I fully support your endeavor to end George Foyet's life regardless."

Aaron smiled and chuckled lightly, once again realizing how blessed he was to have JJ in his life. "So you'll help me fudge the paperwork?"

JJ scoffed, the large smile still on her face. "Please, the entire team will be watching with champagne as Garcia makes any trace of paperwork regarding George Foyet's death disappear forever." The pair shared their first genuine laugh since leaving the hospital.

Aaron leaned back, resting his head against the back of the couch once again, pulling JJ back with him who happily acquiesced as she leaned against the couch herself. Aaron reached over the side of the couch, quickly grabbing the large throw blanket that Jack loved so much. He had originally had it on his bed but after Jack repeatedly stole it whenever he watched a movie while lying on the couch, Aaron figured it would be best to just leave it by the couch for his son. He draped it over both of them, laughing to himself as JJ wrapped her portion of the large blanket completely around her, all the way up to her chin; she'd never looked more adorable in his opinion.

The two continued to talk for hours, neither one glancing at the clock resting on the end table once. After some time they both began to drift off, and when they woke up to light pouring in through the window the following morning, the blanket still securely wrapped around the two of them, neither one could remember who had fallen asleep first.

* * *

Thanks so much to everyone who's been reading, and I wanted to start giving some special love to those of you who take the time to let me know how I'm doing; you guys are too great for words: **JJandHotch4ever96**, **deeda**,** countersteak21**, **whimsical-one-ga**, **Flames101**, **n2aabmmummy**, **Hotch Fan**, **Berlian**, **CrazyBunny**, **canny-bairn**, **GreenIz**, **MLN**, **midmac**, **hglb88, Melissa Larkin**!


	6. Chapter 6

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

Aaron was the first to wake the following morning, surprisingly comfortable considering he had been sprawled out on only a portion of the leather couch for the past few hours. JJ was still curled up into a small ball, her head resting on the back of the couch, the blanket wrapped up to her chin and her eyes closed. Aaron gave her a small smile and sat up carefully, wincing as the wounds on his chest slowly began to ache. The doctor swore the pain would only be back for a short time; when he had been cleared from the hospital Aaron had only had pain when he put excessive strain on his upper body. He had been warned that the pain would return now that he was recovering from home, but after adjusting to being out of the structure of the hospital and back in his own home, the pain would quickly dissipate.

JJ shifted slightly in her sleep, and Aaron, smile still on his face, gently and quietly stood up and moved into the bathroom in his own room. He had shared enough plane rides with a sleeping JJ to know that once she started shifting it was only a matter of minutes before she was wide awake. He knew she'd want to freshen up, hence why he left the more public bathroom open for her.

He quickly jumped into the shower, trying to fully wake himself up. He and JJ had stayed up until just before dawn, sitting together on his couch and just talking about any topic that came up. Questions were asked, previous cases were reopened, the team was laughed at, and no matter how serious the topic became Aaron genuinely couldn't remember having such an amazing time talking to someone in years. Even when he and Haley had been happy in their marriage, they rarely, if ever, spent hours on end just talking and laughing together.

Aaron knew JJ would be slightly upset that she had kept him up so late; the doctor explicitly stated that Aaron needed a lot more rest than he usually got in order to recover properly, and while Aaron would gladly set back his recover as far as necessary if it meant more nights with JJ, he couldn't deny that he was absolutely exhausted. He took a longer shower than normal, hoping to not appear so tired so he wouldn't worry JJ.

After struggling to get ready without causing himself any discernable amount of pain, he finally managed to exit the bathroom, heading over to the couch which was now vacant save for the folded blanket laying across the back of the couch. He heard the sink running in the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, quickly brewing some coffee for JJ. The doctor had told Aaron no caffeine for a while, and knowing JJ as well as he did, he wasn't likely to be getting any coffee any time soon.

"You know you're not drinking any of that." Aaron, who had started smiling the second he heard her exit the bathroom, chuckled lightly as she seemed to read his mind.

"Sadly, I'm very aware." He quickly poured her a mug, handing it over before grabbing a bottle of water for himself. "I just figured you'd like your morning cup regardless."

JJ looked genuinely touch by the gesture for a fleeting moment before she bit her lip, glancing down at the warm FBI mug in her hands. "I'm really sorry I kept you up last-"

Aaron put a hand up to stop her and shook his head. "We stayed up together because we were having a good time. You have nothing to apologize for JJ."

"You've got to be exhausted though, and you need your rest in order to recover fully."

"I'll take a nap later or something. I'm seriously fine, JJ." He leaned against the counter and watched her finally begin to enjoy her coffee. "I know I was a pain in the ass last night, and I apologize. Don't interrupt JJ, please." She had opened her mouth to assure him that he had nothing to apologize for no doubt, but Aaron wasn't having it. "I didn't appreciate what you're doing for me by staying with me, but I want you to know that I honestly do."

JJ felt her heart swell and beat a bit faster as he gazed at her with absolute sincerity. "It means a lot to me to have you here with me, and I promise I'll try my best to behave and make it as easy as possible for you."

JJ laughed and walked over to the refrigerator, opening it up to peer inside as she shot a look at Aaron. "I'm the one who has to handle you on your worst days Aaron, I'm sure I can handle you as a patient just fine."

Aaron looked between JJ and the fridge, conflicted on which question to ask first. "Who stocked my fridge? There was nothing in it when I got back from Canada."

JJ began pulling items out of the fridge as she decided what they should have breakfast in her head. "Garcia and Prentiss. When the team came by to…clean up, they decided they'd restock your fridge and pantry. Apparently, you profile as a bachelor in terms of your eating habits, and it appears they were right."

Aaron scoffed and got out of her way, moving to grab some cooking pots and utensils she might need as she cooked. "I'm used to eating in a different city, and when I'm home I rarely feel like cooking."

JJ, who was facing away from him, glanced over her shoulder with an eyebrow raised. "I'm sure."

Aaron shot her a glare before chuckling, watching her move effortlessly around his kitchen. She moved gracefully as always, and he couldn't help but pray this memory never left him, even though he knew JJ cooking in his kitchen wouldn't last forever. The two joked around as JJ finished cooking before they moved into the dining room where Aaron quickly devoured his entire meal before JJ even had half of her portion cleared. After dishes were done–she washed, he dried–the two settled on the couch with the television turned on to some random channel as they fell into an easy conversation once again.

During one of the lolls in their talk, JJ looked over and saw exactly how tired Aaron was. "Aaron, go take a nap, I don't want you to pass out on the couch again. It's not very comfortable for you right now." Aaron went to argue with her but after a rather pronounced yawn that seemed to come from his very core, he simply nodded and walked himself to his bedroom, collapsing almost the second he touched his mattress.

JJ made a quick call to Rossi, giving him a basic update and letting him know that Aaron was doing really well at home so that he could inform the team. She then curled up on the couch, finding a random sitcom to watch. After several episodes she grew tired of the television, so after peaking in on Aaron, who was still adorably passed out asleep on his big bed, she made her way to the bookshelf she knew to be in his office. She chuckled to herself as she saw the top three shelves were dedicated to work; books upon books about the Bureau, profiles, and specific serial killers filled the top shelves of the large bookcase. The bottom two shelves made her heart melt; they were all children's books, no doubt an arrangement of Jack's favorite books that he preferred to leave at his dad's house. JJ felt the emotions welling up in her chest as she pictured Jack being away from Aaron, but she quickly recovered and moved on to the middle shelves, selecting a random Steven King novel she hadn't read in years before heading back into the living room.

JJ was engrossed in the novel, trying to remember what happened next when she heard an outcry from down the hall. She was up in an instant, rushing down the hall until she reached Aaron's bedroom. She stood in the doorframe momentarily, taking in the sight before her. Aaron was sitting upright, his face a mix of pain and uneasiness, his hand placed firmly against his stomach.

JJ moved instantly to sit in front of him on the bed, and she reached up to move the hair that had fallen onto his forehead before she could stop herself. "Aaron, are you ok?"

Aaron looked at her, nodding as he took a deep breath through his nose. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just…had a dream. About Foyet." JJ was surprised but extremely glad that Aaron admitted it was a nightmare that had woken him up; she had been sure he would try to brush it off as nothing.

She rested her hand on his arm as he breathed deeply, the pain slowly weakening to an uncomfortable feeling. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Aaron continued to breathe deeply, waiting for the feeling to completely leave his chest, but he looked at JJ. "It was just a memory. He was in the apartment with me."

JJ nodded, knowing he didn't need or want to say anymore. "As awful as it is, you'll probably have them for quite a while." Aaron nodded, taking another deep breath, his eyes closed. "But they'll get better." Aaron nodded again, the pain completely gone. He straightened up slightly, shooting a small smile at JJ.

"Sorry if I scared you."

JJ shook her head, staring somewhat blankly at him. "I'm just glad you're ok, Aaron."

Aaron smiled and ran a hand through his hair before turning his attention back to JJ. "Thank-you for calling me Aaron."

They both glanced at each other before chuckling together, JJ giving Aaron a quick nod. The two stayed on the bed for a moment longer before Aaron stood and stretched, knowing he wasn't going to fall back asleep after the dream he just had.

JJ stood as well and smiled up at the sleepy man before her. "How about we cook some lunch and then just relax and watch a movie?"

Aaron stared down at the cute girl standing beside him. "You're determined for me to not do anything today aren't you?"

JJ chuckled and began heading to the door, calling to him as she exited the room. "Try the next week Aaron." He laughed and headed to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway as JJ stood in front of the stove, silently debating about what to make.

More embarrassed than he cared to admit, Aaron quickly blurted out his confession before he could stop himself. "I can't cook."

JJ turned, her hands still on her hips as she stared at him. "You can't cook?" Aaron shook his head. "Anything?" Again, Aaron shook his head. A small smirk appeared on JJ's face as she whipped back around, quickly grabbing supplies as she went about making lunch. "Ok, you pull up a chair and keep the chef company then!"

Aaron retreated into the living room, grabbing a chair as he called out to her. "What's with the little smirk Miss Jareau? Laughing at my incompetence?"

Aaron heard her chuckle in the living room as he carefully made his way back into the kitchen. "It's nice to know you actually suck at something!"

Aaron tried his best to glare at her but she simply laughed in return. "What can I say? Sean got the culinary skills, I got the rest." JJ laughed even harder and Aaron instantly laughed with her. "What did you mean earlier when I promised I'd be on my best behavior? You're the one the team sends when I'm at my worst?"

JJ blushed slightly and kept cooking, all her attention focused on that task instead of him. "Um yeah. Whenever we're on a case and you get into one of your rare 'I'm-SSA-Aaron-Hotchner-and-I-will-gladly-destroy-you-if-you-cross-me' moods, the team gets out of your way and sends me in."

Aaron could barely believe what he was hearing. "Are you kidding me?"

JJ shook her head, her focus still on the food in front of her. "Don't worry, you rarely get into that mood. It's only when absolutely everything that can go wrong is going wrong and then some. It's just that everyone else pisses you off more in those moods but for some reason, you never get mad at me. So the team sends me in to calm you down before you murder someone, namely one of them."

Aaron quickly reviewed all the extremely bad cases he could think of, realizing that JJ was absolutely right. Every time he got to his breaking point and began taking it out on everyone around him, he would be left alone by everyone except JJ. She would always come in and tell him to shape up or let him vent a bit of frustration before calming him down enough to be able to function with other people once again. He couldn't help it; she was the only person he knew that could calm him down just by being in the same room as him.

Aaron continued to stare at the back of her head for a moment before finally speaking up. "JJ?" She finally took her attention off the food and looked over at him. "Thanks." JJ just smiled and turned back to the food, shifting into another easy conversation as she finished up.

After devouring another delicious meal and cleaning up–he washed, she dried–Aaron got comfortable on the couch while JJ sat on the floor in front of his movie collection. For someone who spent an incredibly significant amount of time at work, Aaron had a very impressive movie collection, and it took JJ quite some time before she selected a movie.

She held up another movie case, her jaw hanging open as she turned to show it to him. "You seriously own The Big Lebowski?"

Aaron simply shrugged, very pleased with himself for managing to impress the woman gawking at his movie collection. Many people didn't realize his affinity for good films. "The Dude abides."

JJ laughed and shook her head, absolutely amazed at her boss, the legendary Aaron Hotchner, owning such a ridiculous movie. She grabbed another case and squealed, showing it to Aaron who laughed at her response. "Yes, I do enjoy When Harry Met Sally. It's one of my mother's favorite movies, and I happen to think Billy Crystal is genius." JJ quickly put the movie back and Aaron sighed once again at her indecisiveness, earning him a glare.

"You have the best taste in movies Aaron!"

"Yes I know, pick one." JJ burst out laughing, his mock-arrogance making her laugh as it always did. Aaron was many things, but full of himself was not one of his many traits.

JJ finally spotted the perfect movie and managed to sneak it into the DVD player without Aaron noticing…or so she thought, but Aaron didn't want to ruin her fun.

"What are we watching?"

JJ gave him a huge smile as she sat beside him on the couch, curling her legs underneath her. "You'll see!"

Aaron chuckled and gave his stamp of approval as the opening credits began. "One of the best movies ever made."

"I can't believe you know this movie, it's such a hidden gem. No one ever has any idea what I'm talking about when I bring it up."

Aaron shook his head, sighing. "I know, it's a travesty. It's a classic. It's one of the funniest movies ever made."

JJ laughed and nodded enthusiastically. "Are you kidding me? Christopher Meloni pre-Elliot Stabler? One of the best characters in any movie!"

Aaron got really serious as he stared at the television. "'Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna go smear mud on my ass.'" JJ burst out laughing, her head thrown back as tears blurred her vision. She never thought she'd be lucky enough to hear Aaron Hotchner quote Wet, Hot American Summer, but she knew she would never forget it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

"Aaron…I'm not quite sure how to tell you this…but I want to be completely honest with you." Aaron looked up from the task at hand and stared at JJ, who was biting her lip and looking at her hands. Aaron immediately turned all his attention to her as he waited for her to press on.

A small smile began to grow on her face and she finally looked up at him from under her eyelashes. "You're never going to learn how to cook an edible meal." Aaron glared at her like there was no tomorrow and returned back to the dish he was washing before forcefully, but still gently, handing it over to JJ so she could dry it.

"Thanks, JJ, I'm so lucky to have your honesty in my life." She chuckled even more, and he had to fight as hard as he could not to laugh himself; JJ had the single most contagious laugh he'd ever heard. In order to preserve his own dignity by not laughing along with her, he quickly did the first thing that came to his mind. He reached over and cupped a small amount of water from the faucet into his hand before flinging it at JJ, who gasped as the water hit her shirt and soaked through to her chest.

JJ took a moment to stare down at herself, taking in the water damage done to her shirt before slowly looking up at Aaron, who was sporting a rather smug smile on his face. "Wipe that smartass smirk off you face before I destroy you Aaron Hotchner."

Aaron's smirk grew a little bigger in response, which only prompted JJ to grab a cup in the sink filled about halfway with water. Realization flashed onto Aaron's face the moment JJ's hand made contact with the cup, but the best he could was raise one arm to shield a minimal portion of the water that was immediately dumped on his chest.

Aaron looked down at himself, realizing the water damage to his shirt was much worse than JJ's, but he didn't dare retaliate; he knew JJ was only partly kidding about her ability to destroy him. He sent her a glare which she gladly returned, and the two simply stood in Aaron's kitchen glaring at each other before they finally lost all control of themselves. Laughter filled the entire kitchen and it took the pair a moment to catch their breath.

"Nicely done Hotchner."

Aaron quickly did a double-take, staring at JJ incredulously. "I was simply defending my honor Jareau."

JJ just started snickering again, once again forcing a smile to appear on Aaron's face. The pair headed off to their respective bedrooms to change shirts, JJ feeling plenty at home in the spare bedroom after almost a whole week. She quickly changed into a nice, dry shirt before heading back into the kitchen to finish drying the last two dishes from dinner before moving on to wipe down the table. After futzing around the kitchen for a moment longer, JJ couldn't help but notice that Aaron was taking an exceptionally long time to simply change into a different shirt.

JJ quickly made her way down the hall and peaked into Aaron's room before walking in. She stopped dead when her eyes finally landed on his back, but she looked at his face in the mirror he was standing before. She knew he had heard her enter but he didn't look up or behind him to see her. He simply continued staring at the nine long scars that were still healing across his chest and stomach.

JJ knew Aaron wanted her to leave the room but she couldn't move. He had been hiding his scars from her since they got home and JJ understood that they were something Aaron wanted to keep hidden at all costs. They were his to bear, and while he had opened up to her about the attack completely, his scars were one part he didn't want her to see. She had respected his wishes during her stay at his apartment, but now that JJ could see the look on his face as he stared at his torso, she wished she had ripped off his shirt the first day she was there.

She knew Aaron couldn't see how absolutely perfect he was, but she most definitely did. His everyday suits, while tailored impeccably to infer that there was a strong chest beneath them, did nothing to truly reveal just how amazingly toned and sculpted Aaron's body was. Every inch of Aaron was toned to perfection and the strength of his arms, shoulders, back, and chest were evident in every muscle on his body. JJ had never found a man so undeniably handsome and gorgeous in her entire life. The nine scars meant nothing to her.

Not wanting to overstep her boundaries, she simply stayed quiet, waiting for Aaron to either ask her to leave or put his shirt on. JJ was momentarily stunned when he took a shaky breath, his eyes still trained on his body. He still didn't meet her eyes when he began to speak, his voice quiet and filled with emotion. "I'm ashamed of them."

JJ took a shaky breath of her own at Aaron's confession; she knew he was fighting to not bottle everything up with her, knowing that he had to be open and honest with someone. Even though it broke her heart every time to even think about what Aaron went through, JJ's heart swelled with happiness every time he opened up to her, and this time was no exception.

She took a tentative step towards him as he continued to open up to her. "I knew the second Foyet took his shirt off that I would look like that…like him, at least in that regard. I didn't think… didn't even think about it, with everything else going on, it just slipped my mind. I don't know…" JJ stopped as she stood beside him, watching his face as he spoke. "I guess it just finally hit me. I'll have these forever."

JJ nodded, her eyes still trained on Aaron's face while his continued to stare at himself. "How do I stop feeling like this JJ?"

JJ reached her hand up and rubbed his shoulder, her eyes still pinned to his face. "You give it time. It's still too new for you to be objective Aaron." She turned her head to face him in the mirror, and he glanced up to see her face briefly before turning back to staring at his torso. "Give it time Aaron and you'll eventually look at your scars and see what the rest of us see."

His head lifted but his eyes were torn between looking at JJ and himself. "Tell me."

JJ reached over and grabbed the arm furthest from her before turning Aaron to face her. He didn't fight her but he still wouldn't look at her. She looked up and stared directly at him; the moment his head picked up, she would be the first thing he saw. "How hard you fought to stay alive." Aaron's head stayed down but his eyes snapped up to meet hers and she gave him a small smile, her own eyes moving to trace the scars that covered his chest. "He may have scarred you, but he couldn't…he couldn't break you. You fought to stay alive, you fought to come back to us. I know it doesn't feel like it Aaron, but you surviving…that was you beating him. Your scars are _your_ power over him, not his over you."

JJ hadn't even noticed her hand moving, but a finger was suddenly gently pressed against the long scar directly in the middle of his chest. JJ was delicate not to cause any pain, and even though Aaron flinched internally at her move, he stayed perfectly still on the outside. He let her run a finger down his scar while he continued to watch her face, watching as pain began to fill her eyes along with tears. "What are you thinking JJ?"

JJ could feel the tears lining her eyes, and from the tone in his voice, JJ knew Aaron thought it was about his scars. She glanced up at his eyes and held them for a moment, her whole hand moving to lay against his scar before her eyes moved down to see her hand lying against his chest. "We almost lost you. I came so close to losing you."

Aaron nodded and moved his own hand to grab the one that was resting on his chest, his fingers tightly grasping hers before he lowered their hands and pulled her against him. Her head immediately rested against his chest as her free hand rested beside it while his free arm wrapped itself around her waist. The two stood there and held each other before finally pulling away. Aaron gave her hand a final squeeze before releasing her, heading to his dresser and grabbing the first clean shirt he saw, slipping it over his head.

JJ moved to sit on the big bed in the middle of the room, looking at it from every side before giving it a little bounce with her body. When Aaron turned around, fully clothed, she was still bouncing up and down on his bed. He chuckled softly. "What are you doing?"

She continued to bounce as she looked up at him, a silly grin on her face. "You're bed is so bouncy! I just always thought you'd have a firmer bed than this."

Aaron chuckled again before walking over and grabbing JJ's hands, pulling her off the bed. "You haven't felt anything yet."

JJ stared at him, confusion clearly written across her face. "What are you – Aaron!"

In one swift movement Aaron reached down and swooped JJ up into his arms, laughing as he did so. "You ready?"

JJ immediately began to panic. "Aaron you're not supposed to lift anything heavy!"

Aaron scoffed, moving to standing at the foot of his bed, JJ still securely in his arms. "I wouldn't define you as heavy Miss Jareau. Get ready."

JJ, still slightly worried about Aaron lifting her, was starting to worry for herself; the look on Aaron's face couldn't be good. "What are you doing?" Aaron just grinned at her before tossing her in the air, her eyes almost popping out of her head and a gasp escaping her lips before she bounced softly on the bed, Aaron's laughter almost echoing off the walls. Even as she continued to bounce on the bed, she turned to the man standing at the foot of the bed, an impressive glare on her face. "Was that really necessary? That could have hurt you!"

Aaron just continued to laugh before turning around, letting himself fall back onto the bed beside her. JJ couldn't help but notice the genuine smile on his face as he laid full out on his back on his big comfy bed. She had lost count of the amount of smiles that had appeared on his face in their few days together, but JJ had never been happier to be the cause of someone smiling so much in all her life.

JJ leaned back and grabbed one of the large pillows resting at the head of the bed, gently throwing it on to of Aaron as he laughed again. JJ laughed along with him and sat cross-legged on the bed, facing him, as he laid on his side, his head resting on a propped arm as he turned to face her, the pillow lying underneath his arm. They stayed on the bed for the next several hours talking about anything and everything that came up.

Twenty minutes was dedicated to JJ's first traumatic case with the BAU.

"_I still can't believe you and Spencer Reid saw me in lacy underwear after only three months! God I was mortified!"_

_Aaron laughed. "You got lucky though. I almost left my suit jacket in the SUV." He promptly got hit with another pillow for that response._

A nice chunk of time was spent debating their individual music tastes, even though the conversation got heavy quite a few times.

"_I can't believe one of my subordinates isn't a fan of the Beatles!"_

"_I never said I wasn't a fan, I'm just not as into them as some people. I can appreciate what they did for music-"_

"'_What they did for music?' JJ, they're the greatest band ever! The White Album, are you kidding me?"_

"_Ok, calm down Charles Manson…" It was her turn to get hit with a pillow for that one._

A surprising amount of time was spent on her hair.

"_You really don't die your hair?"_

_Her hair swished back and forth as she shook her head. "Nope, I'm naturally this blonde."_

"_Haley always dyed her hair blonder than it actually was. It drove me nuts."_

_JJ chuckled. "Why?"_

_Aaron shrugged, a silly look plastered on his face. "I'm a hair guy, I guess." JJ burst into a full belly laugh at that one._

After getting off to a rocky start, a good hour was dedicated to Aaron talking–more like gushing–about his son.

"_He truly thinks I'm a superhero. Haley thinks that's part of the reason I can't let go of my job."_

"_Is it?" _

"_Honestly…yes, it's part of it. I'm Jack's dad, and I want to do everything I can to keep him safe."_

_JJ smiled. There was no topic Aaron loved talking about more than Jack. "And you love the way he looks at you."_

_Aaron stared at JJ, giving her a small smile before looking down at the comforter. "I love the way he looks at me."_

_JJ laughed quietly. "You're a superhero because you're his dad, not because of your job. The BAU just reinforces that."_

_They both smiled at each other._

Eventually they diverted back to work.

"_Ok, since apparently you know everyone at the Bureau and you all talk about me, what about you? Once I'm Director of the FBI, where are you going?"_

_JJ scoffed. "I better get one hell of a pay raise." Aaron burst out laughing at that one, JJ chuckling silently before getting serious. "I honestly don't know. I like being at the BAU with the team too much right now. I'm not focusing on where else my career's going."_

_Aaron gave her a huge smile. "We should all tell you every day…but we're lucky to have you." JJ's smile was just as big._

Hours passed without either one noticing; they just kept talking and laughing, never once moving from their positions on Aaron's bed.

* * *

Thank-you guys so much for reading, I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful you all are!


	8. Chapter 8

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: This chapter is very narrative with little dialogue. I know that sometimes long narratives put people off and make a chapter seem longer, but this was really necessary for the story; I couldn't write it any other way. It delves into all of Aaron's current problems (namely, Jack being gone) and it's kind of essential to his psyche, so please just go along with it!

Also, I just wanted to thank everyone who's been reviewing. It's honestly such a wonderful feeling to be getting such positive feedback on a story I'm proud of and have put so much effort into. I already have the entire story written, but I keep going through future chapters and making edits and changing things where I see fit to make sure it's as good as I can possibly make it. Anyways, thanks again (cookies for all!), hope you enjoy, and if you have a moment and feel so inclined, please review.

* * *

Aaron would have gotten out of the cab without paying had he not already had the cash in his hand. He automatically handed the cash through the tiny slit in the window dividing the front of the taxi from the back as he began to get out of the cab, shutting the door behind him without taking his eyes off the house in front of him. He wouldn't have noticed the cab leaving, but with all his years in the Bureau, his mind subconsciously picked up any and all ambient noises whether he realized it or not.

He stood in the middle of the street for a moment, staring straight ahead at the house before him as though he was unable to move. He finally managed to regain control of his body and took a step forward, suddenly propelled towards the home like an unstoppable force. He was up the front steps and standing two steps away from the front door before he even registered that he moved too quickly for his own good. His chest was slightly tighter, as though the muscles were overexerted and there was a dull ache in each of the nine spots where he had been stabbed. He took a few shaky breaths, knocking on the door, silently praying for a different response than the one he already knew would come.

The house remained completely still with each knock. No lights turned on, no footsteps could be heard on the other side of the door, there wasn't even movement on the street. Aaron knocked again, silently begging anyone, anything, to just open the door. He channeled all his desperation into his fist, full on pounding on the door. It was amazing the neighbors didn't wake up, but Aaron didn't even remember that there were other homes on the street. He just kept pounding on the door, frantically begging for them to open up and be there.

Aaron's fist continued to make contact with the front door for a few more moments before his emotions finally overpowered him. He forcefully punched the door, the dull ache in his hand taking a back seat to the pain in his heart. He pushed away from the door, slumping down onto the front steps, his head falling dejectedly into his hands as he finally let himself feel all the pain and anguish associated with his loss.

Jack wasn't here. He was gone.

Aaron could vividly remember coming home to an empty house from the case in Milwaukee; he remembered how quiet it was, how eerily settled and utterly empty the house was without Haley and Jack. He hadn't imagined he could ever feel that horribly alone ever again…until Haley came and picked Jack up after spending his first night with Aaron. Shutting the door behind his wife–soon to be ex-wife–and his son was more difficult than he had ever imagined it would be. Seeing Jack turn back to wave goodbye to his dad with that sad little smile…Aaron had experienced a lot of pain in his life, but never before had the pain taken him straight to his knees.

Aaron had been willing to give Haley anything she asked for during the entire divorce. He had signed the papers she had served him at the office uncontested, he had given her their house to do with as she pleased (it was currently on the market and once sold the money would go to Haley for Jack's needs), as well as almost everything inside of it, and he had done so without any complaint. In return, Aaron had only had one single demand: he still got to keep Jack.

He knew with his job, with the long hours and all the traveling, he would only get to see Jack on a limited basis. But he also knew there was no way in hell he wasn't going to be in Jack's life. He may not have been able to be the husband Haley wanted, but his number one priority had been and always would be his son.

Aaron had expected more of a fight from Haley (he was used to her fights, it had been her primary form of communication for quite awhile before the separation) but he just assumed his tone had left no room for argument. He would do his very best to respect Jack's normal, everyday routine he had with Haley, but if Aaron was in Virginia then he had free reign to see Jack whenever he wanted.

Haley had agreed to Aaron's terms and surprisingly never fought him. It was a true testament to how much they had once loved each other, even if they hadn't been fated to be together as they had believed when they were young. Even if it was four in the morning and Aaron had just gotten back from a week long case and had just gotten off a ten hour place ride, if he showed up at the house behind him and needed to see that Jack was safe in bed, Haley would just sigh, nod her head, and open the door wider. She never walked him out and he never saw her after entering Jack's room; it could have been that his presence in her new home–her new life–upset her, but Aaron liked to think she just assumed that he needed alone time with his buddy.

Aaron pulled at his hair, his head still sunken in his hands. Jack was the only person in the world that Aaron wanted to see and he couldn't. He just wanted to see his little face break into a smile and hear his infectious laugh as Aaron swooped down. He'd pick him up and swing him around, laughing along with Jack simply because it was impossible to be anything but happy when Jack was happy and hold his son tightly in his arms. But Aaron didn't even have the option of knowing where Jack was, and he had absolutely no idea when he would get to see his son again.

Aaron tried to tell himself to get up, realizing he needed to get out of the cold Virginia air and slowly but carefully get back to his apartment. This is exactly what Foyet wanted…Aaron sitting alone in the dark, completely helpless and lost. He may have survived Foyet's attack at his apartment, but Aaron wasn't so sure that he would survive being away from Jack for God knows how long.

_Ten years_. He had watched Shaunessy fall apart for ten years just because he had the power to do so. Aaron knew it wouldn't take Foyet ten years to strike again. With Shaunessy, Foyet had initiated the deal, had decided well in advance not to kill for an uncertain amount of time; he had put every single piece into motion. He hadn't been able to predict when Shaunessy would die, and Aaron knew he wouldn't have killed so long as Shaunessy was still alive. He could have had to watch in the shadows for decades more had the guilt (and alcohol) not finally done Shaunessy in.

But Aaron had turned down the deal. The second he had hung up on Foyet and his offer, Aaron had been an active player when Shaunessy had not. Foyet's attack against him had been about control, but it wasn't the same control he'd had over Shaunessy. This was a control that Foyet couldn't complete; even as he had leaned over Aaron's body and thrust the knife into him time and time and time again, he had never had ultimate power over Aaron. Even now, Aaron still refused to give in and relinquish control to Foyet. Even now, as he was falling apart in front of his ex-wife's home, Foyet still didn't have complete control. Aaron would keep pushing and fighting until Foyet was forced to make his move. And as soon as he did, Aaron would take him down and bring Jack and Haley home.

Aaron's head shot up out of his hands as he felt a body sit on the step next to him, his eyes adjusting to JJ's face as she stared back at him. She gave him a small smile, pulling her jacket a little tighter around her against the gust of wind that blew past. "Hey."

Aaron couldn't believe he hadn't heard her drive up, park her car, and walk all the way up to him before he finally registered her presence, but he was even more shocked that she was here, sitting next to him at well past two in the morning. "How'd you find me?"

JJ shrugged, fiddling with her coat zipper. "I woke up and when I went in to check, you weren't in your bed. I knew there were only so many places you'd go, so I just started driving around looking for your SVU. This was my third try, after the BAU and Dave's place. Scotty's Bar was next before I called Garcia to trace you."

Aaron looked forward, away from JJ, not sure if he loved the fact that she was there with him or if he wished she would leave him to be alone. "Are you pissed?"

He could see her shake her head out of the corner of his eye. "I was worried, but no, I'm not mad."

The two just sat there silently. Aaron didn't have anything to say and JJ wasn't going to push him to talk. JJ wanted nothing else than to just wrap her arms around Aaron and hold onto his as tightly as she could. She wasn't surprised he was here, sitting alone in front of Haley and Jack's house. Aaron could survive anything in the world expect losing Jack, and JJ was sure Aaron was feeling as though he had.

"Do you think he notices I'm not around?" JJ continued to stare at Aaron, but he didn't turn to look at her.

"Absolutely." The certainty in her tone finally got him to turn and look at her. "He misses you, Aaron. You _know_ he does. You're his dad, his best buddy in the whole world." JJ smiled brightly at the small smile that appeared on Aaron's face. "That little boy of yours loves you more than anything. Just because he's more understanding that 99% of adults doesn't mean he doesn't miss you like crazy and think about you all the time."

Aaron nodded, trying to convince himself that she was right. JJ was one of the wisest people Aaron knew and she understood people better than any profiler on his team. He'd never been more thankful to have her in his life, even if he didn't have the energy in him at the moment to tell her so.

Finally unable to stop herself, JJ reached out and grabbed Aaron's hand, holding it tightly in her own. "Do you want to talk?" She wasn't surprised when Aaron shook his head as he stared off into space.

JJ nodded, pausing briefly before letting go of his hand. She adjusted her jacket again, getting ready to go back to her car and let Aaron have some time to himself until he was ready to go back to his place, but he stopped her before she could move away. "Can we just sit here for a little while?"

JJ stared at Aaron for a moment, his eyes staring straight back into hers before she nodded. "Ok."

They both subconsciously shifted closer, not reaching out to touch but their bodies being so close they could feel each other regardless. They sat together in silence for a while longer in front of the empty house, both of them unable to think of anything other than little Jack Hotchner.


	9. Chapter 9

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

JJ sighed as she stood outside Aaron's bedroom, the door slightly ajar revealing that the room was just as dark as the hallway JJ was currently occupying. She had been standing there for a good ten minutes at least, and she knew she was acting ridiculous. She needed to get going but she was having extreme reservations about the day ahead; she was finally heading back to work for the first time since Aaron's attack.

She took another deep breath and gathered her nerves before pushing the door open and padding over to the bed. She smiled to herself as she took a moment to stare at the sleeping man before her. Aaron had experienced several nightmares over the course of the two weeks JJ had been staying with him but they only occurred between bouts of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep. JJ guessed that this time away from work that was dedicated to his mental and physical recovery helped Aaron sleep so well. Considering rest and deep sleep was a very rare occurrence in the life of SSA Aaron Hotchner, she was beyond happy that he was getting the rest he so desperately needed.

Sitting herself on the side of the bed, JJ put her hand on Aaron's arm before speaking. Even in his deepest sleep Aaron was extremely vigilant, and the smallest disturbance caused Aaron to wake alert and almost violent. A calming presence and a relaxed tone of voice allowed Aaron to wake peacefully and without reaching instinctually for his gun. "Aaron."

He groaned and buried his head deeper into the pillow, letting out a deep breath of air as JJ smiled, rubbing his arm. "Aaron, wake up."

Aaron groaned again but didn't move. "Are you leaving?"

JJ paused, taking another deep breath for herself, her voice no more than a whisper. "Yeah, I need to get going." Aaron nodded, his head still buried in the pillow, before rolling around and pushing himself up, a huge yawn escaping him before he finally opened his eyes. He turned his head to look at JJ and gave her a smile, which she nervously returned.

Aaron smiled at her anxiety, secretly finding her absolutely adorable. "JJ, I will be just fine on my own. You don't need to worry so much."

JJ sighed, nodding even though she didn't believe him. The team had been doing just fine without her for the past few weeks; she couldn't understand why she had to head back to work when Aaron still wasn't completely recovered. She looked at Aaron, taking in his smiling face in order to calm her nerves. "You'll be fine."

Aaron chuckled, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "I promise I will be. Come on, I'll walk you out."

They both headed to the front door, JJ disarming the alarm before walking slightly out of the door Aaron had opened for her. She paused in the hallway and leaned against the doorframe as Aaron leaned against the door. "Please promise me you'll take it easy Aaron, even just for me. I'll be worrying about you the whole time, and I know I shouldn't be, but you would worry about me if it were switched so don't even start with me!"

Aaron chuckled loudly at JJ's ramblings; he found it endearing that the woman who stood fiercely and confidently in front of the press every case was the same woman who rambled almost incoherently when she got nervous. "JJ, I promise I will take it easy. I'll rest and relax the whole time." JJ nodded, still terrified to leave Aaron alone. She knew she couldn't be any more ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to leave him alone. She wanted to stay and continue the same way they had been the past few weeks.

"JJ if you start to worry, you know you call or text me anytime. I'll have my phone with me at all times just in case the team needs me. Call anytime you want and I'll call you to check in too." Aaron gave her a big smile before pushing off the door. "Come here."

JJ smiled as she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Aaron's waist as his arms wrapped around JJ's shoulders. Although they would never admit it to each other or anyone else, this was their favorite position; JJ loved how she could bury her face in Aaron's chest, while Aaron loved how he could rest his head on top of hers. She fit perfectly in his arms in any position, but this was the best for both of them.

Aaron pulled away first and smiled to JJ, who gave him her first real smile of the morning. "Call whenever, even just to keep me updated. I hate that I can't be there with you, but I'll be as helpful as possible from here." Aaron sighed, his own nerves finally surfacing. "Please be safe."

JJ nodded, her smile growing as she noticed Aaron's nervousness. "I'll be safe if you relax and take it easy."

"Deal."

They both smiled at each other for a moment longer even though JJ was getting later and later for work every minute. She sighed as she glanced at her wristwatch, noticing she only had about ten minutes to get to work. She bit her lower lip before leaning forward, pressing her lips quickly to Aaron's cheek. "Take it easy."

Aaron smiled. "Be safe." The two shared one finally smile before JJ turned and headed to the elevator, Aaron shutting the door behind her only after he saw her wave from the elevator. He smiled to himself as he headed back to bed to relax…but instead of heading to his own bedroom, he veered off and headed into the guest bedroom JJ had been occupying, laying himself on her bed as he drifted off and fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

JJ immediately flipped open her phone the moment it began to vibrate on the table before her. She didn't even check the caller ID that flashed across the screen. She had only been texting one person throughout the plane ride from Quantico to Charleston, South Carolina.

_How'd the briefing go? _

JJ smiled and shook her head as she read over Aaron's text before writing her own. _Garcia told me you had her send you the case file. _JJ set her phone down on the table before her, determined to not obsessively wait for Aaron's next text. Nevertheless, her eyes stayed glued on the tiny piece of plastic in front of her until it vibrated.

_If it makes you feel better, I looked it over while sitting on the couch in a very lazy and relaxed position. Did you consider the idea of a mission-based UNSUB?_

JJ looked around the plane at her fellow teammates who were all engaged in other things before chuckling to herself. She knew Aaron would be involved in the case, even from several states away, but she was trusting that he was indeed taking it easy. _That's pretty much the conclusion we reached during the brief. We're ready to hit the ground running. I'll keep you updated if you stay on the couch._

The phone vibrated only moments later. _Promise. Be safe and stay in contact._

JJ smiled as she set the phone down. Only Aaron could make her whole body increase ten degrees through a simple text message; she felt like a sixteen year-old girl who was experiencing her first love. The small smile was still on her face as she turned to look out the jet window, which provided David Rossi with the perfect opportunity to observe her silently before taking the seat across from her.

"Texting with Aaron going well I take it?" JJ was startled out of her mindless daydreams at the sound of the older profiler's voice. She blushed three shades redder at his suggestion but tried to remain composed. Dave leaned forward and lowered his voice in order to keep the conversation away from the earshot of the other members of the team occupying the jet. "You walked into the BAU tenser than I've ever seen you. And you stayed incredibly tense throughout the briefing, both at the BAU and on the jet. This is the first time I've seen you remotely calm since the day started, and I'm pretty sure credit is owed to a certain missing team member of ours."

"Stupid profiler." JJ looked down at her hands, choosing to ignore the smirk on Dave's face. She had confided in him about her most well-kept secret but had yet to give any details or further explanation. It was still unsettling to disclose her deepest secret to the profiler before her, but she couldn't resist the temptation of having someone understand and share the secret she had kept to herself for so many years. "It's just…it's harder to be away from him than I thought it would be."

She looked up and found Dave nodding, a sympathetic look on his face. "Worried?"

JJ nodded. "He's recovering so well, but he's still not completely healed. When…when I was there with him, I could make sure he was doing well for myself. If anything happens to him when I'm not there…"

Dave reached forward and squeezed one of JJ's hands as he stared her straight in the eye. "Nothing's going to happen, JJ. Aaron's going to be just fine. He's a pain in the ass, no one can deny that." The two shared a small laugh before Dave continued. "But Aaron has to know how much you're worrying. He would never do anything to make it worse on you."

JJ nodded, glancing to her phone subconsciously. "We promised each other that I'd be safe if he'd take it easy."

Dave burst out laughing, startling the other team members who had been focused on other things prior to Dave's outburst. JJ blushed again, shifting her gaze frantically between her teammates, relaxing only as they began to turn back to their previous activities. JJ glared at Dave but he was busy focusing on his phone. He apparently found what he had been searching for, smiled, and handed the phone over to JJ.

JJ's jaw dropped slightly and she smiled as she read the message on the screen. _Dave, do me a favor and keep an eye on JJ on this one. You know how much I hate not being there. Just make sure she's safe through this one for me. Keep me updated, I'll be as much help as I can._

JJ looked up to stare at a very pleased Dave. "I thought it was somewhat strange, but it makes sense that you two would get close after everything that happened." JJ handed Dave his phone back, a shocked look still on her face as Dave pocketed the cell phone before moving to stand up and head to get a cup of coffee. "And just so you know, I did promise Aaron I'd keep an eye on you. If anything should happen to you on this case, it'll be my ass. And although I'd never admit this to him, I'm pretty dedicated to keeping a very pissed off Aaron Hotchner off my ass." He gave her another smile before heading off to the opposite end of the plane, leaving JJ to stare out the window, her every thought focused on the man several hundred miles away.

* * *

JJ was so emotional she could barely get her plastic key card into the lock of her hotel room. Rossi and Morgan had a police officer drop her off at the hotel, insisting that JJ needed to step away from the case for a bit. The media and public were in such an animalistic frenzy over this case that JJ was been stretched thinner than she had ever imagined she could withstand. Unfortunately the only other agent on the team who could effectively help her was currently recuperating hundreds of miles away; even though the whole team was frustrated by Hotch's absence, JJ was definitely hurting the most.

The press, the public, and the victims' families she could handle without any problems. She had been trained to handle the stress of her job and she never faltered when it came to her role as media liaison for the BAU. What had finally done her in was being the first agent on the latest crime scene and seeing the tiny, seven year old girl with two gun shot wounds in her tiny little body. Up to this point their UNSUB had only sought out adult victims: three males and five females. But seeing the little girl with blonde pigtails and a brand new pink dress drenched in blood had pushed JJ over the edge. She had managed to keep it together in front of the police officers and the crowd that was straining to see what horrors had occurred in their city, but as soon as Reid guided her to the SUV, she broke down and lost her usual calm composure. Rossi and Morgan had both agreed she needed to walk away and ordered her to head back to the hotel.

She quickly threw down her go bag before belly-flopping straight on the double bed closest to the door, relishing in the comfort of laying on something more comfortable than a metal chair in a police station. She laid still for several moments, breathing deeply and evenly as she reflected on her day. The UNSUB had managed to shoot four more victims since their arrival two days ago. The team had nailed down a profile, but they had yet to come across the trigger that had pushed the UNSUB to act on his "mission" and go on a shooting rampage throughout Charleston. As soon as they could isolate that, Garcia could work her magic and they could find the son of bitch, close the case, and go home to Quantico.

JJ sat up and pulled out her cell phone, pushing the two-button as she held it in both of her hands. She sighed as she stared at the name on the screen, debating with herself about whether or not she should push the send button. She really didn't want to call him in case he was already in bed, but she desperately wanted…and needed…to talk to him. She hadn't gotten a chance to really speak to him much since they landed in Charleston; a few quick texts throughout the day and one or two brief phone calls about the progress of the case were about all she could fit in.

She sighed again as tears began to blur her vision as she continued to stare at the screen of her phone. She hated that Aaron wasn't around for this case. JJ rarely let a case get to her until she got back to home to Virginia. She always stayed strong while the case was being worked by the team, even if it tore at her heart.

But every time a case got to her, every time a victim was too unbelievably innocent to have gone through what they went through, every time she had to hold a victim's family member as they sobbed on her shoulder, Aaron had been the first person to be there for her. Whether it was a quick squeeze of her shoulder or a brief talk, Aaron was always the first one to step up and check on his agent. He was always the first one to check up on any of them any time a case became too much. She knew Aaron would've helped her through today until she could call her mom or talk to Penelope or think it through on her own, and she absolutely hated that he wasn't there for this case.

Moments after the first tears fell from her eyes her phone began to vibrate in her hands. JJ stared hard at the lit-up screen for a minute before immediately accepting the incoming call. "Hello?"

"_How are you doing JJ?"_

Just hearing Aaron's voice was a comfort JJ so desperately needed. She finally allowed herself to break down completely as the tears fell forcefully from her eyes. "She was only seven Aaron! How could anyone ever hurt a seven year-old?"

"_I know JJ, I know." _His voice was soft and comforting, and JJ could tell he hated the fact that they were stuck on the phone just as much as she did. Aaron was having a harder time being away from the case–and away from the team–than anyone else.

"She was so little and you could just tell that she was such a happy little girl and she was just lying there! Her mother said she had just gotten her dress and it was just covered in blood. I don't understand it Aaron, I just don't understand! She was seven!"

"_JJ we will NEVER understand why she died__. There was no reason for it. You know that. Our job… what we see, day in and day out, rarely makes sense. But you will catch him and he will get what he deserves. It'll never be enough, but it'll help both you and her family."_

JJ cried and cried as Aaron whispered to her, reassuring her that even though he was only on the phone, he was still there for her. JJ finally began to calm down, her breathing still labored but the tears becoming less and less frequent. "I'm sorry."

Aaron chuckled lightly into the phone and JJ smiled on the other end. _"It's ok JJ. This job takes a lot out of us, it's ok to feel for the victims and their families. I know you get closer to them than the rest of us, which in a way makes you a lot stronger than the rest of the team." _JJ took a deep breath, feeling a lot better after being on the phone with Aaron for so long. _"What was her name?"_

JJ smiled and wiped the remaining tears off her cheeks. She couldn't help but admire the fact that he would be invested in a little girl he had never met or seen, and JJ had to admit that his care and respect for the tiny girl made her love him even more. "Mallory Stevens."

They both remained silent for a few moments, almost as though they were giving the girl a small memorial of their own. JJ shifted on her bed, lying on her side with her phone still pressed against her ear. "I was considering calling you right before my phone went off. I didn't want to wake you, but I really wanted to check up on you and talk to you."

"_Dave gave me a call right before I called you. He mentioned Mallory and we discussed the case a bit. I asked to talk to you, but he said you had a hard time with her. I might have hung up on him."_ JJ laughed, rolling her eyes at her boss's crazy antics. She never would have guessed that Aaron had such a wonderful sense of humor outside the office, but she was completely enamored with it.

"I'm sure Rossi'll have something to say about that."

Aaron scoffed on the other end of the phone. _"Please, Dave can suck it."_ JJ roared with laughter, and Aaron chuckled simply at the sound of her laughter, proud that he could make that sound come out of her. The two continued to talk for almost another hour before the pair bid each other goodnight. As soon as the call was ended, both Aaron and JJ stared at their phones for a few moments before sighing and burying themselves in their separate beds, hundreds of miles away.


	10. Chapter 10

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: Ok, apparently I struggle with writing moments involving the whole team. This chapter was surprisingly hard for me to finish, and I'm still not terribly happy with it. Anyways, I apologize if this chapter isn't grand, and I promise to practice writing better team moments for the future. I hope you enjoy anyways!

* * *

JJ was glad that her left leg was the only part of her body that was bouncing as the SUV pulled up to the federal building back in Quantico. Morgan was driving with Prentiss riding shotgun and Reid was occupying the furthest backseat alone. None of them noticed JJ's uncontained joy at being back home. Rossi, sitting behind Prentiss, was the only one who could see JJ's leg bouncing uncontrollably. He kept stealing glances and tiny chuckles at her expense, earning him several intense glares from the tiny woman beside him.

JJ simply couldn't help it; she was anxious to see Aaron.

The SUV came to a halt, and the six team members swiftly exited the vehicle, all elated to be back in their beloved Quantico. They headed upstairs to the BAU, all deciding they would drop off their paperwork for the night and work on it tomorrow. Prentiss, Reid, and Morgan immediately stepped over to their desks, Morgan naturally teasing Reid the whole time as Prentiss jokingly joined in. "All I'm saying Pretty Boy is that it couldn't have hurt to have gotten Tricia's number. She clearly had a little thing going on for you."

Reid was bright red and Morgan and Prentiss were on cloud nine. "It's against protocol to engage in any intimate social activity with any law enforcement while on a case Morgan."

"Aw I'm sure anybody would agree that breaking protocol to get you some good loving would be just fine!" Prentiss was laughing uncontrollably, and even Rossi was chuckling at how utterly embarrassed Reid was.

JJ, a smile on her face, walked past Reid and ruffled his hair. "Guys, be nice to Spence." Reid sent her a grateful look before Morgan launched in again.

"C'mon now, we all know Reid needs a little love more than anybody else." Even JJ chuckled at that as she began to turn towards her office, stopping directly in front of the staircase leading to the "upper level" of the BAU. "Face it, the girl seemed interested, and it's not like any of us were going to tell Hotch!"

"Tell Hotch what?" Four heads whipped up immediately and joined JJ at staring directly at their boss as he stood in front of the stairs leading to his office door. He quickly scanned his team members before his eyes returned to JJ.

Rossi moved forward first. "One of the law enforcement officers had a little crush on our young genius and Morgan was pushing him to pursue her while we were in Charleston." Morgan and Reid both glared at Rossi's blunt honest. "Good to see you Aaron."

Everyone agreed with Rossi's sentiment and voiced their joy at seeing their boss back where he belonged, even if it wasn't in an official capacity. JJ just stood still, staring at Hotch.

Hotch smiled at everybody as he made his way down the few steps, stopping as he stood beside JJ. "Thanks." He turned back to JJ, confused by the look on her face. "What?"

"I was at that last meeting you had with Dr. Trout, and he told you explicitly not to enter this building until next Thursday. You're a good six days early, and I'm pretty sure he'd be pretty pissed off if he saw you right now."

The whole team stood slightly in awe at JJ reprimanding their boss, even though they could all recall a time or two that JJ had gone toe-to-toe with Hotch and gotten him to back down. It was the number one reason they all sent JJ into the line of fire when he got too intense for anyone to deal with and come out alive. JJ, while tiny and sweet as could be, was not one to be messed with by anyone.

Hotch raised an eyebrow as he stared down at JJ. "I'm fairly certain that pertained to an official work capacity only, so I'm sure he would be fine." He looked at the team before meeting JJ's eyes again. "I figured I'd come in and see you guys before you headed out for the night, considering you just got back." JJ was thrilled that even though she was surrounded by the best profilers in the world, no one in the room could hear how fast her heart was beating.

"Actually, Morgan, Reid, Garcia, and I were going to go grab a bite to eat real fast. We should all go as a team, spend some time together. It's been a while since we've all gotten to really hang out since Fo-"

Prentiss stopped herself mid-word, unsure of how Hotch's attack being brought up would be handled. Reid, Morgan, and Rossi all looked to Hotch, but JJ was the only one who slightly flinched. Hotch remained completely calm as though Prentiss's almost-words didn't effect him at all. Hotch nodded, followed by Rossi and JJ. "That sounds great, actually."

The team headed down to their cars together, agreeing to head over to the restaurant directly so no one had an excuse to pass once they got home. Garcia was already on her way and would meet them as soon as they all got there. Everyone divided to different cars, Rossi and Morgan taking one as Reid followed Prentiss to hers. Hotch glanced over at JJ as she glanced over at her car. "I'll drive you, we'll come get your car tomorrow."

JJ instinctively moved to argue but stopped herself before she started. She didn't care about leaving her car and she honestly wanted to spend some alone time with Aaron, even if it was just a car ride to a restaurant. She nodded and walked over to Aaron's SUV with him, hopping into the passenger's seat as he eased into the driver's seat. "Are you driving ok?"

Aaron nodded as he started the car, pulling out before the others as he led the way to the restaurant. "Surprisingly ok. No discomfort or pain."

"Good. I have to admit, I was worried you'd have to passenger to Morgan's driving for a while."

Aaron scoffed. "That'll never happen."

JJ chuckled softly, reaching over to rub Aaron's arm for a moment before pulling her hand back, slightly shocked at her own actions. "How was being on your own?"

"Surprisingly easy."

"No big missteps?"

"Nope. Everything was good."

"Oh thank God!" Aaron quickly turned to JJ, a chuckle escaping him at the relief in her voice. JJ blushed, realizing how ridiculous she sounded. "I just kept worrying something would happen and set your recovery back."

"What did you think would happen?"

"I don't know, you could fall and hit your chest on something or tear something by lifting something heavy or fall asleep on the couch and accidentally hit the doorframe as you walked to your room after turning all the lights out or your apartment building could catch on fire and you could hurt yourself heroically rescuing a little old lady…"

"My building burns down and I heroically rescue a little old lady? Honestly JJ?"

JJ blushed even redder; she was absolutely pissed that Aaron had the uncanny ability of making her blush worse than anyone else she had ever met. "It could happen! Fires are very possible, and I know you'd be the idiot that would go after all your neighbors to make sure they were all safe before you got out of the building yourself."

Aaron burst out laughing half way through JJ's explanation. "Wow." The two shared a look before they laughed together, Aaron turning back to the road as JJ turned to look out the window. Even after a rather embarrassing moment, she was so glad to be home and with Aaron.

Aaron glanced over at JJ, noticing the serene look on her face. He couldn't believe he had missed her as terribly as he had; from the moment she had walked out of his apartment he had found himself thinking about her throughout the entire day…almost every moment. He was worried out of his mind with her being out in the field without being there himself, even with Dave's promise that he'd keep an eye on her. He had wanted to stay permanently on the phone with her the whole case, but he knew he was being absolutely ridiculous. "Glad to be back?"

JJ sighed and rolled her head towards Aaron's direction, resting peacefully against the headrest. "Absolutely." He laughed, completely understanding her elation at being back in Virginia. The whole team understood the instant joy that flooded each of them when they arrived home after a case. JJ looked down at her hands, picking at one of her random fingernails. "This was one kind of tough for me."

Aaron nodded, glancing again at JJ before looking at the road once more. "Just remember you got him. I know the Stevens family is better now that he's behind bars. You did them and Mallory a great service. You did a great job JJ."

JJ looked at Aaron's profile, a large smile on her face. "Is it ok that I missed having you on this case?"

Aaron smiled, pulling into a parking spot and putting the SUV in park before turning to JJ. "I missed having you around the apartment. It was nice living with an adult again." The two shared a smile before opening their doors, joining their team as they headed in the restaurant, immediately spotting Garcia as she frantically waved her team over. Her eyes widened as she noticed Hotch, a momentary look of shock freezing on her face before she broke into a smile.

"Boss Man! I had no idea you were joining us!" She walked over and stood awkwardly, obviously wanting to hug Hotch out of instinct but unsure of what to do with her stoic boss. Morgan laughed at his goddess's crazy antics, placing a kiss on her cheek before sitting down at the table with Prentiss, Reid, and Rossi. Aaron smiled at Garcia, rubbing her back as he moved to sit between Reid and JJ, Garcia resuming her initial spot. "Oh my lovelies, this was such a brilliant idea! Whose brilliant idea was this?"

JJ shook her head, glancing at Garcia over her menu. "It was yours Penelope."

Garcia smiled brightly and bowed her head dramatically before returning to her menu, the entire team chuckling at her antics. Drinks and appetizers were ordered and the team immediately jumped into discussing the case the profilers had just completed. Hotch and Garcia were regaled with tales from the case, and Garcia was more than giddy about Reid's potential admirer, much to the poor genius's dismay.

Finally able to catch his breath after the enormous wave of laughter that encompassed the entire table at Reid's expense, Dave turned to Hotch. "So, you ready to get back to work?"

The whole team chuckled; all six members of Aaron Hotchner's team knew their boss was dying to get back to his life at the BAU. "I am. I'm ready to get back to life as normal."

Morgan chuckled as he took a swig of his drink. "Is JJ as messy a houseguest as her office makes her out to be?" The team couldn't help but chuckle at JJ's expense, and the laughter increased as Morgan received a very intense glare from the blonde almost directly across from him. Morgan winced, a giant smile on his face. "Damn Hotch, she definitely got pointers on perfecting that glare of yours!"

Hotch leaned over and rubbed JJ's arm, still chuckling as he turned back to Morgan. Dave was the only one of the team to notice the way his hand slightly lingered on JJ's arm. "She wasn't nearly as messy as I expected her to be. The mess must be a work thing only." JJ's glare was turned to Hotch, who just flashed her a big smile as the team burst into another set of laughter.

Dave, the only apparent supporter of JJ, turned against his long-time friend. "I can't believe JJ survived living with you Aaron. God knows you can be a royal pain in the ass whenever you feel so inclined."

Hotch made absolutely no move to argue. "I was sure I'd get her out of the apartment at some point." JJ sighed and shook her head.

"I know you're my boss and all…but I seriously wanted to beat the crap out of you the first night. You were such a pain in the ass!"

The laughter was now at Hotch's expense, who just stared at JJ with a small smile on his face. "Was I really that bad?"

"Oh my God, you drove me nuts! You stayed in the damn bathroom for like an hour and half just to get away from me!" Hotch joined in with the others, laughing at himself while watching JJ as she laughed. He couldn't help but love how her entire face lit up every time she laughed. It was one of the things he loved most about her.

"Aaron, driving someone nuts because he didn't get his way? I'm shocked! Ouch!" Dave rubbed his forehead where Hotch's piece of bread had made contact.

"Watch it Dave, I have plenty of stories about you when I first joined the BAU…"

The whole team ignored Dave's glare as they all came to the same conclusion. "TELL!" Dave threw his own piece of bread at Hotch's' head as he began a story involving Dave, raspberry vodka, and a very dirty, _very_ graphic late-night phone call that was intended for his at-the-time fiancé, but actually ended up on the voicemail of Strauss's personal cell phone.

The profilers were almost unable to collect themselves at the end of the night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: So I was originally going to write this chapter starting with JJ picking Hotch up at his apartment (instead of Prentiss at the beginning of the real episode), go through the entire case, and then end it. But I figure all of you readers are fans of _Criminal Minds_, so you've probably already watched Episode 5, Season 2 "Haunted" and you don't need me to recap the entire episode. So, this chapter picks up as the team is leaving the police station after the events of the case; the case was solved the exact same way with Hotch running in and Call killing Jarvis. I picked up directly after that, so the only alteration is that Prentiss might not be the one to take Hotch home this time. Trust me, it'll turn out ten times better than if I actually wrote the episode out. Enjoy, and as always, review if you feel so inclined!

P.s. This particular chapter is randomly dedicated to the new British royal couple! I'm currently staying awake because I can't wait until tomorrow to see the wedding, hence why I'm posting this chapter at such a late hour!

* * *

"JJ we need to talk-"

"It's not right Rossi and you know it! He took off his vest and walked into that house without any back-up or any plan!" Morgan was right on Rossi's tail as they entered the small conference room JJ was currently cleaning out. The team had used it as their "command center" and JJ was busying herself with clearing case files, notes, pictures, and maps off the table and bulletin board. She stopped her movements and stood by the table when Rossi entered the room, followed quickly by Morgan, while Prentiss and Reid followed a few paces behind. She sighed and rubbed her forehead, not in the mood to analyze the actions that occurred today.

"Morgan it's not our place to profile-"

"He's our unit chief Rossi! Of course it's our damn place when he acts _without thinking_! He could've been killed man-"

Rossi, completely ignoring the young profiler ranting at him, turned to the blonde. "JJ, you've been with Hotch throughout his whole ordeal." Everyone stopped dead and stared at JJ, who just stared blankly back at Rossi. "Right now, you understand his state of mind better than anyone. Hell, you're the only one who understands what he's thinking right now." Rossi paused, subtly taking a moment to take a deep, calming breath. "Should we be worried?"

Looking into Dave's eyes, JJ could easily see how hard this was for him. He and Aaron had been close friends for so many years, and he had no idea if his good friend was stable enough to keep from falling apart. As she looked at each member of her team, she could see the obvious concern in all of their eyes. All four of the profilers were worried for their unit chief, and they were all counting on JJ to make their next move for them. After giving Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid their own separate bit of her attention, she met Rossi's eyes once again.

"No."

Rossi's shoulders dropped as if an intense weight had been unexpectedly lifted off him. Reid looked down at the floor, deep in thought as though he were reminding himself to take each breath in and out of his body. Prentiss closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, compartmentalizing her overwhelming relief to the best of her abilities. Morgan gaped at JJ, obviously doubting her assessment while also subconsciously relaxing with relief.

"No?"

JJ shook her head, her ponytail swishing behind her. "No, you don't need to worry about Hotch. I know you can disagree with the way things went down today…" She put up a hand to cut Morgan off, who had already began to argue. "…but Rossi's right. Being around Hotch as he's recovered, we've talked. A lot, about everything." Morgan moved to interrupt again, but JJ just continued, not allowing him a second to overtake her. "I might not be an official profiler, but I know every member of this team well enough that I don't need to profile you guys to understand what's going on with you."

Morgan's mouth finally shut as he realized he had no argument. The whole team was one giant family, with JJ at the head; she watched over all of them and knew their habits, thoughts, emotions, decisions, and reactions better than anyone else. She knew every time one of them was off, and she knew every time they were going to be just fine.

"You don't have to understand, but you have to trust me that you don't need to worry about Hotch."

Morgan finally spoke up. "JJ, after today-"

"I know…today was bad. Hotch acted completely recklessly and…" A thought of what could have happened after Hotch entered the house today flashed through JJ's mind before she could stop it. After a minor flinch and repeatedly reminding herself that Aaron was finishing a debriefing with the chief of police, she pushed on, ignoring the thought that had just run through her head. "If any one of us had done that, Hotch would have had our heads on a plate. And I know it doesn't make sense, but he really is going to be ok."

Reid tentatively spoke up. "But how can you be sure?"

JJ glanced over and gave Reid a small smile before she looked away. She didn't stare at anything in particular, but her eyes didn't lose focus; she was clearly seeing Aaron's face in her mind. She finally found the strength she needed to continue on, and she turned back to her team. "Hotch really needed a win today. He needed this case to be as successful as it possibly could have been. He _had_ to save that little boy, no matter what. After going through what he went through…he really needed a winning case." She took a deep breath and turned around, grabbing a stack of case files to cover the shake that had overtaken her hands before turning back to the team. "Regardless of what case we had gone on today, Hotch would have done anything to make sure it didn't end badly. Now that he's got that win…he can get back to work as normal."

She moved past her team members, turning back quickly as she reached the door. "I promise, he'll be back to normal from our next case on." With that, she swiftly exited the small conference room, taking a shaky breath as soon as she was sure she was out of ear shot of the four profilers.

* * *

Hotch sat on the tail end of the plane, looking out the window but actually observing his team. Reid was currently one move ahead of Prentiss in a pretty intense chess match. Morgan and JJ were rooting on opposite teams, Morgan cheering Prentiss on while JJ invested half her interest in supporting Reid, her other half completely locked on Aaron. He didn't even remember Rossi was missing until he sat in the seat directly in front of him.

Rossi took a moment to study Hotch before he spoke up. "You ok Aaron?" Hotch glanced at Rossi, nodding his head as he glanced between the older profiler and the rest of the team…mostly JJ.

Rossi leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs as he sighed. Hotch took one more lingering look at JJ before focusing his attention solely on his friend. "Aaron, we've known each other for years. We've worked together for most of them. I have _never_ seen you act the way you did today. Tell me why I shouldn't worry about you being back on the team."

Hotch sat for a moment, not moving or speaking. He was the Unit Chief of the Behavior Analysis Unit of the FBI; he was professional, rational, calculating, cautionary, and smart. He was _never_ reckless, impulsive or out of control. If a member of his team had acted the way he had today, he would have seriously considered their placement on the team as they reflected during a week-long suspension. There had been a high probability that he could have gotten himself killed today, an action the BAU agents were never to even consider.

Hotch mirrored his friend's position as he took one last good look at his friend. "Dave, I couldn't have handled losing that boy today. I know we've lost kids before, but after…after Foyet, I just couldn't handle losing an innocent boy today. I knew I had to do whatever it took to get him out of that house. I knew Call wouldn't shift his focus off of Jarvis, but all I had to do was keep him occupied while the boy slipped out. I figured I could talk him down if he ever turned the gun on me." He stared hard at Rossi. "I needed to know that I could still do my job Dave. I needed to know I could save the victim and stop the UNSUB. As reckless and dangerous as it was, I needed to beat the bad guy today."

Rossi stared hard back at Hotch, trying to see a crack in his eyes that contradicted his words. When he couldn't find the tiniest hint of a scratch, he nodded. "And you did."

Hotch nodded and sat back, still staring at Rossi. "You don't need to worry Dave. I'm ok."

Rossi nodded and stood, resting his hand on Hotch's shoulder before giving it a squeeze. "I won't." He released Hotch's shoulders and glanced over at the team, smiling as he noticed Morgan, Reid, and Prentiss setting up a second chess game. Only JJ was focused on the two at the other end of the plane, and her eyes were locked directly on Hotch. He glanced back at Hotch, who maintained eye contact with JJ for a moment before glancing up at Rossi. "Doesn't mean someone else won't."

He headed back to grab himself a coffee, reflecting somewhat on the conversation he had just had with Hotch but focusing more on the conversation he'd had with a certain media liaison earlier. Hotch had solidified for Rossi that JJ had everything completely under control. Hotch wasn't going to go through anything on his own; JJ would be there beside him every step of the way.

* * *

Rossi, Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid stood by the SUVs in the parking garage of the BAU while JJ stood off to the left, her cell phone pressed against her ear as she begrudgingly dealt with whoever was on the other line. Hotch had headed up to the BAU offices for a moment, probably to grab some file to work on as soon as he got home if the rest of the profilers had to guess.

Reid glanced at JJ three times before finally speaking up. "Should one of us offer Hotch a ride home?"

Morgan nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. Prentiss why don't you take him?"

Prentiss scoffed, her eyes drifting to JJ. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure JJ might break my driving arm if I even offer."

Reid's voice pitched up as he shifted his gaze nervously between the others beside him, the elevator door, and JJ. "She hasn't spoken to Hotch since we left Jarvis's house. Maybe she needs some time away from Hotch."

Rossi, the only one of the four to know of JJ's feelings for Hotch, had also noticed JJ's avoidance of Hotch. "Reid might actually have a point."

Before the decision could be further debated, the elevator doors dinged, announcing the arrival of their unit chief. As he made his way over to the group, JJ snapped her phone shut, moving back over to the group herself. She glanced around the group as Hotch approached, her eyes resting on him as he finally stopped beside Prentiss and Reid, his own eyes focused on JJ.

As the other four profilers frantically glanced between each other, daring the others to speak up, JJ adjusted her go-bag and motioned to Hotch's SUV as she continued to stare at him. "Ready to go?"

Hotch nodded and adjusted his own go-bag. He and JJ bid the others a good night and walked off together, silently getting in the SUV before exiting the parking garage. The rest of the team simply stayed in their positions before accepting that their friends would get home safe and heading to their homes themselves.

Not a word was passed between Hotch and JJ the whole trip home. His eyes never left the road while she stared out her window the entire trip to his apartment. They both silently grabbed their go-bags before silently heading up to Hotch's apartment.

Hotch entered his apartment without a word, heading over to disarm the alarm as JJ quietly entered the apartment herself. The two simply stared at each other, the day flashing through both of their minds.

Hotch sighed and dropped his go-bag, moving forward to close gap between the two. JJ remained still other than to drop her own go-bag, her eyes filling with tears that she desperately fought against. Her voice cracked as she finally broke the silence that had seemed to go on forever. "Aaron…" He immediately wrapped his arms around JJ and held her against him, her own arms holding on to him as tightly as she could possibly manage.

Aaron knew it was his fault that JJ was upset, and he would've beaten his own ass for causing her so much pain today if he could. If their situations had been reversed today…if JJ had been the one to act so recklessly during a case, to put herself in immediate danger…Aaron shuddered at the thought and held JJ tighter to him as he rested his chin on her forehead. "I'm so sorry JJ."

JJ's face was currently buried in Aaron's chest, making her words slightly muffled as she threatened the man she held so tightly in her arms. "Don't you EVER do that to me again, Aaron. Ever."

"I'm sorry. I just…" Aaron sighed, running his hand through his hair as he collapsed on the couch, his head still in his hands. JJ sat next to him, rubbing his leg as a silent encouragement for him to open up. He finally leaned back and JJ's heart broke at the sight of tears in his eyes. "I miss him so much JJ."

JJ felt tears prickle her eyes as she stared at Aaron. She couldn't even imagine how much pain he was in. Aaron struggled being away from Jack when he was just a phone call away. "I know he's safe, and I keep telling myself that he's fine and he's with his mom, but…God I miss him."

JJ reached up and wiped away a tear that was slowly trekking down Aaron's cheek. He sat up a bit, finally turning to look at JJ. "It's always hard, every day…but days like today, when it's kids, they're just..."

JJ nodded, trying to understand how hard life was for Aaron right now. "They're too hard to bear."

Aaron nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Yeah."

JJ fought back tears, running a hand through Aaron's hair. "I can't imagine how hard being away from Jack is, but Aaron…if something happens to you, Jack loses his dad, and he would never get over that. You can't put yourself in danger, Aaron, there are too many people that depend on you and need you."

Aaron stared off into space, but JJ knew he was just taking everything in. After a few moments, he nodded, turning to face JJ who gave him a smile before getting serious again. "Promise me that you will NEVER be that reckless with your own life again."

Aaron stared into her eyes and nodded. "I promise."

JJ leaned forward and hugged Aaron tightly to her. The two held each other tightly for a few lingering moments, both savoring the comfort the other provided. It was almost two in the morning before they realized that it just made more sense for JJ to crash in the spare bedroom for the night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: Ok lovelies, I was originally going to write out an entire case and actually make this chapter a lot like an actual episode of Criminal Minds. By the time I wrote the beginning and ending (the important aspects of this story, since I'm focusing on a Hotch/JJ story over a case story), it got pretty long. So, once again, you'll have to survive without a case. I apologize and promise to hopefully starting writing in more details about that sort of stuff, but I hope you guys are doing ok with the Hotch/JJ stuff. All of my focus goes to writing about those two, and I apologize if you guys want more outside information (like cases). I hope you guys are still enjoying, thanks to everyone who's continued on thus far, and, as always, if you feel so inclined, drop me a review! Thanks, much love to all, and enjoy!

* * *

Things eventually returned to normal at the FBI's leading Behavioral Analysis Unit. Rossi resumed his duties as the team's leading smart ass, constantly taunting the younger members of the team for no reason at all. Morgan continued kicking down doors, flirting with the ladies, teasing Garcia (which she loved), and trying to pass on his "words of infinite wisdom" to the awkward genius of the team. Reid, for his part, returned to his status as the genius and resident statistical calculator while desperately trying to will Morgan's head to explode. Prentiss laughed at the ridiculous men on her team, keeping Rossi on his toes, Morgan at his most flirtatious, and Reid at his most nerdy. Garcia had found a new off-duty mission in life and put much time and effort into Operation Get-Prentiss-to-Wear-More-COLOR!

To the others, Hotch and JJ had returned to work following the Call case as though nothing had happened. JJ had been right in ascertaining that Hotch would return to his normal stoic, professional, workaholic self, which relieved a heavy burden from the shoulders of the BAU agents. JJ had handled Hotch's return flawlessly, gracefully resuming her natural role as the team's media liaison and resident solver-of-all-issues-and-inner-team-quarrels.

Work was still work, but on personal time, JJ and Hotch continued to spend an inordinate amount of their free time together…a fact which secretly bothered neither of them.

Hotch sat at his desk, everything in its exact, pristine place as he went over the towering stack of case files neatly organized on his desk. His head snapped up as a knock and opening of a door could be heard simultaneously, alerting him to JJ's presence. He smirked to himself once again at her newfound habit of knocking as she went ahead and let herself into his office.

"Do you remember your first day here and how I had to get up and open the door so you would actually enter my office?"

JJ smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I was still terrified of you back then." Hotch immediately noted the look JJ was trying so hard to cover up before he noticed the case file in her arms.

"That our new case?"

JJ nodded, biting her bottom lip which signaled to Hotch that they were in for a rough one. She released her lip but clutched the case file tighter in her hands, her next few words coming out so quietly Hotch had to strain to hear them. "The UNSUB uses a knife."

Hotch stood immediately, walking over to shut his door before turning back to JJ with his hands in his pockets. He stood completely still, his eyes boring into JJ's as he studied her. JJ's voice was filled with intensity and the whisper that had stolen her voice moments ago was no where to be found. "Don't profile me Hotch."

He stared for a moment longer before softening his gaze. "JJ I have to ask: can you stay objective on this one?"

JJ took a deep, shaky breath. She knew his question was a simple yes or no answer; she wanted desperately to be able to see the victims for who they truly were, but every time she even glanced at a crime scene photo her mind flashed back to Hotch's apartment. She honestly didn't know if she _could_ stay objective with everything that had happened to Aaron, but if she said yes and couldn't keep it together, she would be indirectly lying to Hotch.

Alternatively, 'no' would automatically keep her in Quantico. And as hard as it was to see Aaron superimposed on each and every victim they would potentially encounter, the idea of being away from him on this case was substantially more painful to consider.

Hotch could tell by the look on her face that JJ was struggling. He leaned down and rested a hand on JJ's forearm, rubbing small circles to try to soothe her as he looked her over. "Do you want to sit out on this one?"

Her head shook fiercely back and forth. She absolutely, positively did NOT want to be away from this case. "No. I can do this." She looked him in the eye, conveying to him nonverbally that she was being honest with both of them. "It's going to be hard…really hard. Because…" She trailed off, not needing or willing to bring up his attack. "But I can do my job."

Hotch nodded and squeezed her arm, releasing her as he stood up straight. "Ok. Go ahead and gather the team, I'll meet you in there in 5." He turned and walked back over to his desk, but JJ reached out and grabbed his arm before he could pass her, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

JJ was staring so intently at Hotch that he almost considered taking her off the case prematurely. It was obvious she was having problems handling the case at hand, and if he was honest with himself, he wasn't sure if he was quite ready for this case either. Before he could focus on himself, he had to make sure JJ was ok. Her wellbeing would always come before his own. "JJ if you need to step away from this one, everyone will understand."

JJ shook her head, her gaze still intensely on Hotch alone. "I can do this Hotch. I just…" She broke eye contact for a moment, and the profiler in Hotch couldn't help but notice she shifted her weight from her left leg to her right and back again, signaling embarrassment or nervousness. "Would you pair up with me on this one? I'll handle it fine as long…"

Hotch cut her off, not needing an explanation. "Of course." JJ's head snapped up, her gaze still shifting from his eyes to the floor.

"I don't want to be a problem on this case."

"JJ, this case is going to be hard on me too. It'll be better for both of us to have one another close by as often as possible. And I'm sure the team will come to the same conclusion."

JJ smiled for the first time since entering the office, and the sight made Hotch's worry and unease alleviate instantly. "Damn profilers."

Hotch offered JJ a small smile of his own before sending her off to gather the team while he prepped his office as he always did before he left on a case. Before locking up and joining the team in the conference room, he took several deep breaths, calming himself before venturing into the adjoining room. The instant he saw JJ's face, a small smile sent in his direction, he was filled with a sense of calm and certainty that he could handle anything this case threw at him.

* * *

The jet ride home was unusually quiet. No chess matches were played, nor were any cards dealt. No book discussions occurred, and no jokes were cracked at the expense of any member of the team. Prentiss and Reid were too occupied trying to profile JJ's level of sanity, while Rossi and Morgan tried to determine who got to punch Hotch first for not sitting directly next to her on the plane.

Hotch was seated at the front end of the plane, one row behind Morgan and Rossi, who were seated away from Prentiss and Reid, who sat across from JJ. JJ was staring blankly at the floor in front of her, completely oblivious to Reid and Prentiss, who hadn't looked away from their friend since she sat down. Rossi and Morgan were trying to communicate nonverbally about the man sitting behind them, who tried to appear as though he was looking over case files while actually focusing every ounce of his attention on JJ.

Rossi and Morgan finally stood and moved to the row behind them, sitting themselves directly across from Hotch. They shared one look before Rossi gave a tilt of his head, challenging Morgan to speak first.

Surprisingly to both of them, Hotch was the one who broke the silence. "Before you both give me your expert advice, she needs to come to me."

He finally looked up, not surprised to see the shocked looks on both of their faces. "JJ knew going into this case that it was going to be hard, that's why she and I stayed together as much as possible. Now that it's over, she needs a moment before I can do anything to help her through it." Morgan moved to interject, but one look from Hotch kept him quiet. "It's how JJ handles every case; she takes time to herself, away from everyone, before talking it through with someone. She'll talk to whoever she wants to when she's ready."

He leaned back and sighed, finally showing where his attention had truly been for the last twenty minutes. He stared hard at JJ, secretly willing her to talk to someone, any one of them…but him most of all. If he thought it would help, he would have done nothing but held her in his arms for the past three days as they worked the case, but he knew JJ had her own process. He glanced back at his two friends as their attention turned from JJ to Hotch once again. "Trust me, the wait is harder on me than you think." Rossi and Morgan were effectively silenced by Hotch's confession.

Several minutes of silence ensued before JJ blinked rapidly, her eyes regaining their normal amount of focus. Reid and Prentiss perked up, alerting Rossi and Morgan to do the same. Hotch had been focused on JJ already and had been following her slow return back to reality before the others even took notice. After another moment to herself, JJ fully returned from bring locked inside her head and stood, looking around and finding the man she was looking for already walking towards her.

Rossi and Morgan did a double-take, neither one remembering Hotch standing up and making his way over to JJ before she stood up. Nevertheless, as soon as she had stood, Hotch was already making his way down the aisle, following JJ to the couch at the furthest end of the back of the plane, and sitting directly next to her with very little space between their bodies.

Hotch turned his body, angling himself in a way that blocked out the rest of the plane from JJ's view. He knew she needed this moment to be just the two of them, and this was the best he could do. She had her hands resting on her knees, her posture tight against the back of the couch. Hotch reached out and covered one of her hands with his own, encouraging her to talk to him but not pushing her to speak before she was ready.

After two or three calming breaths, JJ turned to look at his face, a thin layer of moisture evident in her eyes. "He looked so much like you."

Hotch nodded his head, understanding exactly who JJ was referring to without any specifics. Their last victim, Brian Dayers, had looked extraordinarily similar to Hotch: tall, same build, short dark hair, dark brown eyes, and clean-shaven. He was even wearing a classic black suit with a solid color tie when they had finally found him and the UNSUB.

"I'm sorry. I know I said I would keep it together, and I honestly really tried to keep a handle on this case Hotch-"

"Aaron."

JJ's eyes widened. "But we're-"

Hotch nodded, his eyes never leaving JJ's. "We're on our way home. Even if we weren't you don't need us to be at work right now." JJ nodded, her eyes filling up with more tears at Aaron's gesture. As their friendship had progressed outside the office, it was determined by both of them that they needed a separation between work and home. One of the easiest ways for JJ to keep a distinction was the use of 'Hotch' in any sort of work capacity, while 'Aaron' was only to be used in a personal manner. JJ never called him Aaron on a case or inside the BAU, and that included the jet.

"Talk it out JJ. It's just us."

JJ sighed and turned her hand up, intertwining her fingers with Aaron's, grateful for the connection. "I was doing fine up until Dayers. Honestly, I was. It was difficult, but I was doing just fine. But then Dayers happened and I just…" She took several deep breaths as she became more emotional, trying to calm down enough so she didn't cause a scene in front of her teammates. Aaron squeezed her hand, reminding her that in that moment, it was just the two of them. "We were only seconds behind him. We were _so_ close, Aaron, and he looked _so_ much like you, I just…I couldn't…"

"JJ, you aren't weak because this case got to you. Look at me JJ." JJ had averted his gaze but instantly looked back at the sound of Aaron's tone. "You are _not_ weak because this case got to you. It was hard on me too, JJ. But even though Foyet attacked me, I could still step away from it enough to not associate it with myself. In some ways, you have it worse than I do; I have no idea what it was like for you to walk into my apartment that day. If I had found you…or another member of the team…God, JJ, I don't even know what I would've done."

A tear finally trickled down JJ's cheek as Aaron's eyes glazed over with a fine layer of tears. "I know this case was hard for you, but you did an amazing job. I know it feels like we failed because we lost Dayers, but we got the UNSUB and saved lives because of it. We put his killer away, and we gave his family a small semblance of peace. As hard as it was for you, you were a key part of that JJ."

Aaron glanced down at their hands, giving hers another squeeze before she squeezed his in return. "You did a great job JJ."

JJ smiled and wiped her face with her free hand. "Thank-you." She barely got through 'thank' before a large yawn overtook her. Aaron chuckled, leaning back slightly against the back of the couch.

"Why don't you get some sleep? We've still got another two hours before we land."

"No, I'm fiiii…" Another yawn escaped JJ, and Aaron sent her a genuine I-told-you-so look before nodding to the half of the couch they weren't currently utilizing.

"Lie down and get some sleep JJ, you haven't slept right in three days. I'll be here when you wake up."

JJ nodded, laying her body out on the couch. With her knees bent she fit perfectly on the portion of the couch she had, and her head rested right up against Aaron's thigh, which provided her with a minimal amount of contact that she was still scared to lose. It wasn't long before the lull of the plane and the sound of Aaron's breathing beside her allowed her to drift into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

JJ woke once as Aaron carried her gently off the plane, mumbling incoherently about how she could walk off the plane herself. Aaron just laughed and adjusted JJ in his arms, holding her closer to him. JJ was back asleep in an instant.

She woke up once again some time later, only this time she was in a moving vehicle. She didn't even get the chance to see who was driving before she heard Aaron's voice telling her they were almost home. She was back asleep before she could come up with a response.

JJ woke one last time, her arms instinctively tightening around Aaron's neck as he gently laid her on the bed. "You're home JJ." JJ released Aaron and looked around, realizing Aaron had carried her from the plane to his car to her apartment. He had even taken off her shoes at some point. She looked back up at Aaron and yawned, eliciting a chuckle from the man looking down on her.

"Are you going to stay?"

Aaron moved a piece of hair out of JJ's face. "Do you want me to stay?"

JJ nodded, rolling onto her side facing Aaron, her eyes drooping close. "You said you'd be here when I woke up."

She could hear Aaron chuckle as she drifted back into sleep. He confirmed her statement, claiming he'd be on the couch when she woke up. She wouldn't remember in the morning, but right before sleep overtook her, she could have sworn she felt Aaron's lips against her forehead, but she might have simply dreamt it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

Aaron glared over at his phone sitting next to a stack of case files, terribly displeased with the small ringing device that broke his current train of thought. As always, he reached over and answered the phone without glancing at the caller ID. "Hotchner."

A pleasant chuckle reached his ears and the glare immediately left his face. "Put down the case files Aaron. It's a gorgeous Saturday afternoon!"

Aaron put down his pen as he leaned back in his chair. "How do you know I'm looking at case files?"

JJ laughed again. "Your tone was serious and slightly annoyed, which means you answered the phone without looking at the caller ID. You only do that when you're in work-mode, and since I'm positive that you're not in the office today, that means I can cleverly deduce that you're at home with a pile of case files covering every inch of your kitchen table. I'm going to guess…three open files in front of you?"

Aaron smiled as he looked first at the huge stack of case files, then at the two open case files in front of him. "Two open." JJ gave a small noise of disappointment at her incorrect guess; Aaron didn't bother to admit that he had closed a case file not five minutes before she called. "I'm starting to think there's no reason for you to take a profiling class, you could jump in any time you wanted."

JJ laughed again and Aaron couldn't fight the small feeling of victory that shot through him; he loved being the one to make her laugh. "Nah, I'm only good at profiling you cause you're easy!" He couldn't help but laugh with her. "So are you really planning on staying indoors all day looking at case files? It really is beautiful outside Aaron."

He sighed. "I hadn't really planned out my day." He closed the two case files before him, tired of staring at George Foyet's face. "What are you doing today?"

"Um, I don't know. I went for a run earlier and I just had lunch…"

"So you don't have any plans?"

"Um not as of right now."

Aaron stood up, slipping some shoes on as he adjusted the phone against his ear. "Ok then I'm coming to pick you up."

"No Aaron, that's not what I meant when I called, if you want to get some work done…" Aaron chuckled to himself, easily noticing the lack of conviction in her voice.

"JJ, would you rather spend the day on your own? I won't come get you if you don't want me to, you know that." He knew JJ would keep fighting if she really didn't want him to come over, but he was adamantly hoping that wasn't the case.

"No, that's not what I meant at all! I'm just saying…"

"JJ." She went silent on the other end. "I'm locking up, I'll be there in 15. Is that ok?"

JJ laughed, making Aaron's smile grow even bigger. "I'll see you then Aaron."

* * *

"I have to admit, a walk in the park was a good idea. It really is beautiful out today." Aaron tried to comment on the beauty of the day as nonchalantly as possible, but his eyes were unable to stay away from JJ for longer than thirty seconds. It truly was a very nice Saturday, but it was hard to say anything was beautiful when JJ was walking beside him.

JJ looked away from her ice cream cone and beamed up at Aaron. "I'm glad you came out with me. It's nice to have some company." She shot him a wink and turned back to her cone, a huge smile on her face.

Aaron laughed and nudged her with his shoulder. "I never knew you had such an obsession with ice cream until I saw my freezer the week you stayed with me."

JJ didn't take her eyes off her ice cream. Her tongue swirled all around the cone and Aaron had to cough to cover the groan that her action elicited. After enjoying a substantial amount of her delicious treat, she finally turned her attention back to Aaron, who had managed to recover from the heat coursing through his body thanks to JJ's eating habits. "I _love_ ice cream!"

Aaron burst out laughing, stopping in the middle of the lane, his hands on his knees as he calmed down, trying to catch his breath. JJ stood beside him, laughing more at Aaron's reaction than anything else, a blush overcoming her entire face. She absolutely loved the sound of Aaron's laugh, and although she wished he laughed more, she secretly _loved_ how she was the only one who seemed to be able to make him laugh like no one else could.

The pair finally managed to get a hold of themselves and resumed their walk. JJ had finally finished her ice cream, and after pouting for a few moments, she threw her napkins away and continued walking. Aaron chuckled again and nudged her with his shoulders, leaning down slightly to speak closer to her ear. "I promise I'll buy you another cone before we leave."

JJ looked at Aaron like a kid on Christmas, a huge smile plastered on her face. Aaron just smiled and straightened up, his eyes looking forward once again as he and JJ continued their walk. Aaron sighed, still staring straight ahead as he and JJ began their third loop around the park. "Tell me something I don't know about you."

JJ didn't even blink. "I think the Old Spice Guy should be president."

Aaron chuckled and shook his head, pushing JJ gently with his shoulder as she blushed and looked down, a small laugh responding to his. "What do you want to know?"

Aaron glanced over at her for no reason other than to look at her; she truly was beautiful. "Something I don't already know about you. Something outside your file or something I could have Garcia find."

JJ continued looking ahead, a small smile still on her lips but it was obvious she was deep in thought. Aaron wasn't sure what he was hoping to gain from this topic of conversation, but any new information about JJ was a piece of information he would cherish. "I hate dogs. _Hate_ them."

Aaron looked over at her, glad to see the smile still on her face as he thought back to JJ's run-in with the dogs on Tobias Hankel's farm. "Before or after Atlanta?"

"Both. I was never a big dog person to begin with, but Atlanta made it worse. Our neighbors had this really mean dog that would bark at me every time I walked by when I was younger. Everyone assumes I'm this huge a dog person, it drives me nuts."

Aaron chuckled to himself, apparently not as quietly as he thought; he could see JJ look at him with a puzzled expression out of his peripheral vision. He gave her a smile before turning forward once again. "I'm allergic to dogs."

JJ's jaw would have smacked the ground if she hadn't managed to check herself at the last moment. "Are you really?" Aaron nodded.

"Only thing I'm allergic to." JJ smiled, unsure as to why this piece of information made her so happy. "Explaining that to Jack was a pain in the ass; he didn't quite grasp why Dad couldn't be around dogs, he just knew it meant he wasn't getting a dog. He wasn't terribly pleased with me about that."

JJ looked at Aaron's face, glad but not surprised to see the smile on Aaron's face. It was a little bit more pained than usual but talking about his son always brought a smile to his face. JJ laughed, tucking some hair behind her ear. "Will tried to buy me a dog for my birthday when we were together. That was a disaster!"

"JJ, why didn't you guys ever get married? You seemed…happy with him in the beginning." Aaron couldn't believe how hard it for him to admit that JJ had been happy with another man, but he was just hoping JJ hadn't noticed his struggle. He had to mentally remind himself that they'd broken up over a year ago.

JJ shrugged. "I just always knew he wasn't the one, you know? Will was great in the beginning, or so I thought and we were happy when we were together until the end. But I just knew." She looked over at Aaron, unsure of the look that flashed across his eyes before he started nodding. Her heart leapt at the idea that her words made him happy, but she berated herself for jumping to a silly conclusion.

She turned her attention back to the park in front of her. "It was hard in the beginning after I ended things, but I knew it was necessary." She glanced at Aaron but quickly looked away, causing Aaron to stare at her for a moment. "After you and Haley…does it ever…do you think it was for the best…in the end?"

"Absolutely." Her eyes flew to Aaron's face, slightly shocked to see such a calm expression on Aaron's face. Haley leaving and the divorce that followed had done quite a devastating number on Aaron, and JJ couldn't help but be surprised by his ease with it now.

Aaron knew JJ was unintentionally profiling him, and he was glad he could keep her on her toes. "I'll always love Haley; we'd been together since high school, she gave me Jack…but we were too young when we got married to really think about it. We always had problems in our relationship, and we were too young to understand that getting married wouldn't solve them like we thought it would."

JJ didn't think Aaron had ever told anybody the truth about him and Haley. He had always been so private about his relationship with her, both when they were happily married and all throughout the divorce. He could talk about Jack for hours, days even, on end, but he always hesitated to talk about Haley; now it made sense.

JJ had never told a single person the thought that was swimming in her head, but after Aaron's admission, she couldn't stop herself from opening up to him. "Will proposed to me."

Aaron felt all the oxygen leave his body. The mere suggestion of JJ walking down the aisle in a wedding dress–walking towards a different man–nearly knocked him off his feet. He quietly took a shaky breath and unclenched his fists, trying to focus on what JJ was saying. "It was about a month before I found him in bed with what's-her-face and ended things. He wanted me to move to New Orleans with him and get married, settle down, have kids, the white picket fence."

"The dog." Aaron was relived when JJ laughed at him; at least she hadn't heard the venom behind his words.

"Yeah, the dog too. I told him immediately I couldn't leave Quantico, even though I was sure that would make him take it back. But he said he'd relocate here if it came to it."

Aaron looked at JJ's left hand to remind himself there was no ring on it, but all it did was make him want to reach out and hold her hand. Without any idea of when his body decided to move, his hand reached over and took hers, lifting it up as he stared at it. JJ's breath caught in her throat, her eyes meeting Aaron's as his finger rubbed her ring finger. "But you said no." He dropped her hand and both of them missed the contact.

JJ smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear again. "Yup. I just couldn't do it. We stayed together for a while after. Will was sure I'd change my mind and he didn't mind waiting." She shook her head. "I knew it was only a matter of time; my answer wasn't going to change, especially after I found him in bed with that blonde bitch." Will had been lucky that Aaron hadn't beaten the Louisianan to death, and Aaron was still a little peeved with himself that he had let Will survive. JJ had been devastated when she had found Will sleeping around, and it took her a while to get back to her normal, happy self. "Ultimately it didn't really matter though; I was never going to love Will like…like we both deserved. So after I found out the truth, I kicked his ass out and he was back in New Orleans."

JJ glanced over, noticing her friend was deep in thought. Suddenly nervous she had gone too far, she quickly filled the silence. "Would you ever get married again?"

Aaron was slightly surprised by her question and it showed on his face. "I honestly don't know. It would take a lot for me to get there, to want to get married again." He looked at her, knowing for a fact that JJ was the only woman who could ever make him want to get down on one knee again. "Do you ever think about your future wedding with whoever's lucky enough to deserve you?"

JJ blushed and chuckled nervously. "Not really. I'm still far from all that. Will was definitely the closest I've ever come to considering it, and that was still pretty far away. I'm trying to just go with the flow; if it happens, it happens. If not, well hell!" She laughed and looked at Aaron, who was still looking at her. Although JJ had never truly considered getting married to Will, she didn't have any problem envisioning walking down the aisle as long as Aaron was waiting for her at the end.

Aaron stared at the ground before shifting his eyes to JJ, holding her gaze for half a second before he looked away again. He took a subtle but deep breath before looking at her face again. "You'll find the guy who's perfect for you JJ. And he's going to be the luckiest man alive." JJ's breath caught in her throat; she couldn't come up with a response, couldn't find the ability to assure him that any woman he chose to be with would be the lucky one, couldn't even muster up a witty retort about the blush that covered Aaron's face.

_The guy who's perfect for me…__I'm looking at him right now_. It killed her that she couldn't just say the thought that was screaming in her head.

Aaron broke the moment, giving her a smirk before guiding them to the left. "But for now, I get to be the lucky guy to buy you _another_ ice cream." JJ's face lit up as she spotted the cart and she looped her arm through Aaron's as she all but drug him over the cart.

"Come on, let's go!" Aaron laughed at JJ's expense but willing–gladly–followed her to the ice cream cart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: Thank-you so much to all of you who are still sticking with this story! You're encouragement and enjoyment of the story is more amazing than I can describe. You're all amazing, thank-you so much and I promise I will do everything I can to make sure the rest of the story is well-worth your time! I hope you continue to enjoy and, as always, if you have time and feel so inclined, please drop me a review.

* * *

"About time Pretty Boy, we've been waiting for your butt to get here!" Reid shot Morgan a look as he put down his bag, taking his seat at the circular table in the conference room. Morgan just gave him a smile as JJ handed around a case file to each member of the room. She turned to the television mounted on the wall, grabbing the remote and bringing up three pictures.

"Thomas Johnson, age 10, Matthew Hatchet, age 8, and Joe Alterman, also age 8, were all found in a remote section of the woods in Eugene, Oregon, over the past three consecutive Monday mornings. Johnson was found first, three weeks ago on Monday morning by local park rangers. Hatchet was found the following Monday by local hikers, and Alterman was found yesterday after following an anonymous tip sent to Eugene police. All three boys had their throats slit."

Prentiss looked up from her case file, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "A tip?"

"He wasn't found until after 4:00 Monday."

Rossi continued leafing through his case file as he spoke. "The boys were all found on popular hiking trails. This UNSUB isn't hiding what he's doing; he wants these boys found."

Morgan followed Rossi's train of thought. "He got impatient when the boy hadn't been found, so he made a phone call to push the police into the right location."

"No indication of sexual assault?" Reid glanced up quickly at JJ as she shook her head.

"The boys were abducted two days before they were found, but there were no signs of sexual or physical abuse."

"So the UNSUB holds them for two days but doesn't abuse them?"

"It could be more of a power thing, like the UNSUB is flaunting his ability to abduct these boys in plain sight, hold them for two days, and publicly dump their bodies without getting caught." Reid looked around at his team mates, meeting Morgan's eye as he nodded at the genius across from him.

"He wants the recognition. It may be that he's not physically powerful enough to take on an adult, leaving children as his only option."

The team turned to Hotch, waiting for his call to grab their go-bags and head to the jet. He didn't disappoint. "Wheel's up in thirty."

* * *

The team had been in Eugene, Oregon, for four days already, and tensions were starting to rise. The UNSUB was escalating; another young boy had been abducted, held, and killed which effectively broke his pattern. The boy had just been recovered that morning, and Hotch and Morgan were just returning from the crime scene.

The rest of the team was gathered in their area of the police station. Prentiss and Rossi were talking on speaker with Garcia, Reid was staring at the bulletin board of pictures, and JJ was dealing with local police who were growing frustrated with their lack of leads.

Everyone in the station snapped to attention as Hotch flew in, throwing open the door before moving over to the conference room the team was using, grabbing a random case file before walking into a secluded, smaller conference room to the left, the door slamming behind him, making everyone in the precinct jump slightly. The team turned to Morgan, who had followed Hotch in the room, looking pretty on edge himself. Morgan waved JJ over, who appeared at his side in an instant, her eyes darting between Morgan and the door Hotch was holed up behind.

"I think the crime scene really got to him JJ. It was…it was brutal. The kid, he was…"

The whole team had perked up, and Rossi glanced at the door before turning back to Morgan. "He has to be projecting Jack onto these boys."

The team turned to JJ, their resident Hotch-interference-liaison. She just sighed and shook her head. "Bringing Jack up right now is just going to make it worse for Hotch right now. We just need to stay focused, keeping working the profile, and catch the UNSUB before he has the chance to take another boy." The team hated leaving their unit chief to his own thoughts, but they all trusted JJ inexplicitly. She knew better than anyone what Hotch needed. The team had a case to work and an UNSUB to stop first and foremost; they–JJ–could take care of Hotch after they put the bastard away.

* * *

JJ hung up the phone, taking a few deep breaths to push the moisture from her eyes before turning to the team. "Another boy was just taken from a shopping center. Nine year old Jeffery Beck. He was with his mom and she turned around for just a second." The whole team sighed, shaking their heads. JJ's eyes took in her team before staring straight at Hotch's back.

Hotch was looking out the window, barely registering anything JJ was saying. His team had been there for days, pouring every ounce of energy they had into this case and they _still_ hadn't found the bastard. He hated to sound cynical, but if they hadn't found him so far, what was to say they were going to find him before he slit poor Jeffery's throat?

_Jeffery. Jeffery Beck. Out shopping with his parents. Taken in a__n instant. _He didn't even realize the team was discussing the more important aspects of the case when he spoke up, his eyes still fixated on random objects out the window. "Why did she turn away?"

The whole team paused, all eyes darting around the conference room. JJ was the only one to stay composed enough to answer. "It wasn't important information to ask."

Hotch scoffed silently to himself, bowing his head as Reid began spouting some random statistic. Hotch began speaking the moment Reid was finished, his back still to the team. "Morgan, get Garcia on the phone and have her go through every minute of every inch of the mall's surveillance. She has an hour to find something we can use. Then go back through every case file we have, don't skim over anything, I want every case reviewed. Rossi and Prentiss, get over to the mall, I want everyone interviewed by each of you separately before you interview them collectively as a group. Find someone who saw something, I don't care who or what it is. Reid, recalculate the geographic profile with the shopping mall. Once you have it, do it again, and get Garcia a location she can cross-reference with whoever she finds on surveillance. JJ start on the files, Morgan will join you when he's caught Garcia up."

The team began to scurry about, jumping head first into their specific duties as dictated by their unit chief. He sighed once more before leaving the room, shutting himself into an adjacent conference room. He pulled out his phone, flipping it open, his finger pushing the one button. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. He felt the tears push against his eyelids as he listened to the year-old voicemail for the millionth time, and as he pushed the repeat button on his voicemail, a tear had managed to escape his closed eyes.

"_Hi daddy! Mommy saids you'__re busy fighting bad guys but I drew a pitcher of a dinosaur and got a GOLD STAR! Mommy wanted to put it up on the fridgerator but I drew it for you so can you put it on your fridgerator? I told Mommy I'd draw her a girl pitcher tomorrow. Mommy says I have to go to bed. I love you Daddy!" _

* * *

JJ had never been more pissed off at being around Morgan in the entirety of their working relationship. After narrowing down the potential suspect pool further, the team had hit the ground running even harder; Reid poured over the geographic profile, Morgan and Rossi examined every inch of the crime scenes again and again, Prentiss and JJ spoke with everyone involved in the case in any form, Garcia checked every single thing she could in any system in a existence, and Hotch covered every aspect of the entire case in general. All their hard work paid off as Garcia managed to get a name that cross-checked with all four abduction sites. The team was certain Howard Stevenson was their UNSUB.

The team had flown to the known address of Stevenson, a three-story Victorian home that stood on the outskirts of a large wooded area, only 10 miles from the dump site. Upon arrival, the team had split up; a group of agents stayed out front with Rossi, Hotch and Prentiss entered from the front while JJ and Morgan took two officers around back. Prentiss had shared a momentary glance with JJ, understanding that the blonde hated the idea of being assigned with anyone but Hotch, but both agents knew they didn't have time to make any adjustments.

Morgan and JJ branched off as they came to the back staircase. Morgan and one of the officers headed upstairs, while JJ and the other officer continued on the main level. JJ's head snapped up when she heard yelling from the other side of the house, and she booked it, not bothering to clear any of the rooms she was passing. The police officer behind her yelled upstairs for Morgan and his partner before running after her, trying to keep up.

JJ breathed a sigh of relief as she rounded a corner, seeing Prentiss rush Jeffery out of the room at the furthest end of the hall before she turned back into the room, screaming at Hotch who was still in the room. She didn't sound worried, she sounded panicked; JJ ran even faster, the muscles in her legs burning as she pushed them harder, finally reaching the doorway where Prentiss stood, watching Hotch as he threw Stevenson full force against the wall.

JJ took one second to canvas the room before she rushed forward, registering Prentiss yelling for Morgan before she partially matched JJ's movement. "Hotch stop!" She couldn't make out what he was saying but he was right up in Stevenson's face, obviously cutting off the man's oxygen supply with his forearm. JJ knew the asshole deserved no less, but she also knew Hotch was too emotionally charged to be thinking straight. "Hotch, Jeffery's fine, we got him!"

Hotch tensed slightly, staring hard at Stevenson for several seconds before releasing his grip, letting Stevenson fall straight to the floor in a coughing fit. Morgan and the officers immediately stepped in to apprehend Stevenson but JJ's eyes stayed glued on Hotch. He didn't look at her or anyone else as he took several deep breaths, rushing past everyone to exit the house. JJ stared after him for a moment before walking out herself, moving to the left to check on Jeffery quickly before grabbing her phone, standing off to the side. "Garcia it's me. Please tell me it's taken care of…"

* * *

Reid was bouncing the second he exited the large SUV, immediately rushing over to Morgan's side as soon as the door closed behind him. He took a moment to check on JJ and Hotch, both of whom headed over to their vehicles to drop off their go-bags while the rest of the team congregated around Morgan and Reid. "What are we going to do? Hotch has barely said five words to anybody and JJ had her phone in her ear the entire plane ride home!"

Morgan sighed, running a hand over his face and shaking his head at the younger profiler. "I honestly don't know man. Hotch isn't a very personal guy, we've all worked with him long enough to know that. If he's not wanting to talk, he's not going to talk."

Prentiss turned to look at her fellow female agent. "Yeah but JJ? She and Hotch are super close right now, it's weird that she was on the phone the whole plane ride home. I mean guys…Hotch was beyond himself with Stevenson, I thought we were all going to have to pull him off that guy!"

The four profilers veered off as Hotch approached, keys in hand moments before JJ walked up. Hotch stood straight, eyes never staying on one person long enough to be noticed. JJ, for her part, looked at her each member of her team minus her unit chief. "You guys all have a goodnight." She gave Rossi a long, hard look before turning her attention to Hotch. "I need you to come with me." Without waiting for a response, she walked over to the elevator doors that led up to the BAU office, Hotch watching her open the doors before nodding to the team, heading over to join her on the elevator platform, leaving the rest of the team in the parking garage.

The ride upstairs was entirely silent, as was the pair walking through the office. Hotch walked two steps behind JJ, blindly following her lead, barely registering that they were going in the opposite direction of both of their offices. He finally looked up when JJ stopped outside of Garcia's office. His eyes, full of confusion, met hers; his confusion increased at the small smile on JJ's face.

Without a single word, JJ opened the door and walked over to Garcia's expansive network of computers. In all his years with the BAU, he'd never once seen another living person touch Garcia's system. He, himself, had always been too terrified of the Wrath of Garcia to even consider such an action, but JJ bent down, her fingers moving across the keyboard swiftly and delicately.

She finally turned back around as a video popped up on the screen and Hotch's jaw dropped to the floor. JJ smiled and looked away, suddenly too nervous to maintain eye contact with the man before her. "I knew this case would be hard on you, considering it was your first child case since you got back. I talked to Garcia before I briefed the team and she's been working on this while we were gone. That's why I was on the phone the entire plane ride home, I was trying to make sure everything would be set up." She glanced at Hotch, who couldn't seem to decide where his attention should be focused. "I wanted to be there with you on the plane Aaron, but…"

"JJ." She stopped immediately at the tone of his voice. She looked up and saw the tears clouding his eyes, the smile on his face as he stared at the screen before him. JJ's eyes lit up as she moved back, letting Aaron sink into the chair in front of him, his eyes glued on the televised version of his son at the park that was on the computer screen before him.

"It's from yesterday. I figured Jack would be the best thing for you after this one." He chuckled, his eyes still completely glued on Jack as he ran around the park equipment, dedicated to running up the slide regardless of how slippery it was.

JJ had every intention of letting Aaron enjoy the moment on his own as she tried to stealthily move out the door, but Aaron's hand reached out for hers before she could get too far. He finally tore his eyes away from Jack, staring at JJ. "Stay with me."

JJ nodded, still holding Aaron's hand as she maneuvered a chair to sit beside him. The two watched Jack play, laughing and making casual comments as they watched the young version of Aaron Hotchner play at the park; they held hands the entire time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

"JJ! Ahh I'm so glad you're here…oh, hi Aaron." Dave smiled at the pair as they made their way into the foyer of Dave's expansive cabin. The whole team had decided to spend their rare free weekend together for a night of fun, just the seven of them. Aaron and JJ had decided to ride together, and JJ had been running late due to a professional phone call she got tied up with, making them the last to arrive.

JJ smirked at Dave, giving him a one-armed hug before walking into the dining room, placing her dish on the counter with the food before hugging her other teammates. Aaron entered as well, carrying a container of cookies, two pies, and a fancy salad JJ had whipped up the night before. He glared at his good friend as he passed. "Hello to you too, Dave."

Dave chuckled, pleased at his own little joke before following Aaron into the dining room. Aaron set down all the food before greeting his team. Morgan walked over and smelled all the food, appreciating the vast amounts of plates and containers Aaron had carried in from the car. "Damn Hotch, I thought Sean was the culinary genius in your family!"

Aaron chuckled, shaking Morgan's outstretched hand in a very manly greeting; the girls shared a look and rolled their eyes. "He is. JJ made all these."

The team looked at JJ, who just shrugged, a glass of white wine in one hand and a glass of red in the other, which she handed over to Aaron. "Aaron can't cook so I pitched in for both of us."

Although it was a very domestic act for the pair to bring combined dishes, none of the team thought it strange. Aaron and JJ had arrived together, had brought food together, sat together at dinner, got food and drinks for each other, and when the whole group retired to the living room to enjoy the extravagant fireplace, it made complete sense that as soon as Aaron situated himself comfortably on the couch next to Dave, JJ plopped down on the floor right next to him.

Dave motioned to the cushion between him and Aaron. "JJ there's plenty of room…"

Aaron shook his head, smiling as he nudged JJ with his knee. "JJ has a weird obsession with the floor." JJ turned to glare at Aaron, who simply gave her a silly little grin.

"I just like the vantage point I have down here. I think it's pretty comfy thank-you very much." Nothing more was said about JJ's strange position on the floor, even though the rest of the team took "more comfortable" seating; Prentiss and Garcia sprawled out on Dave's other enormous couch while Reid and Morgan took the two single chairs on the other side of Aaron.

"Ok my lovelies, now that our bellies are full, our glasses are full, and we're super duper comfy, I proclaim we play a game!"

Prentiss turned to her couch-mate, one eyebrow raised. "Did you intentionally try to make that rhyme?"

Garcia gave a wicked smile, continuing on. "Since I'm sure our master profiler Agent Rossi doesn't keep board games at such an illustrious cabin…" She turned to Dave and was met with a shake of the head. "It appears as though we have to play one of the most classic young adult games that has ever been devised."

She took her time looking at each of her teammates, growing more and more desolate at the blank stares she was receiving. "Seriously, nothing?" More blank stares. "Never-have-I-ever! What is wrong with you people?"

There was a collective intake of five groans; Reid stared at Morgan, utterly confused. JJ smiled at her dear friend, amazed once again at her ridiculous notion. "Seriously, never-have-I-ever?"

Garcia's head bopped up and down so fast Prentiss braced for it to fall on her lap. "Let's do it gang! Look at it as a learning exercise that delves further into the psyche of your fellow agents! Now, my gorgeous chocolate prince, have you brought our young, socially unknowing genius up to date on the complexities of the game? Yes? Perfect! I'll start; ten fingers up ladies and gents." Both hands shot in the hair, all ten fingers jazzily moving about in the air as she stared down at her friends, daring any of them to fight against her. Morgan immediately followed suit, his fingers moving to the air, followed shortly by JJ's. Prentiss sighed and put her hands in the air, followed by Reid and Dave. The six turned to Aaron, who simply sighed, shook his head, and put his hands up as well.

Garcia squealed and bounced happily in her chair. "Perfect Boss Man! I'll go first, let's see…and no work related ones for the first round dears…ooh ok, this is a goodie!" She bounced a few more times before settling in, clearing her throat for dramatic effect. "Never have I ever watched an entire Super Bowl game!"

Sighs and groans came from all corners of the room as Aaron, Dave, Morgan, and JJ all dropped fingers. No one was shocked at Reid's ten fingers still intact, but JJ gaped at her fellow female co-workers. "You guys have never watched a Super Bowl game?"

The girls sharing a couch shared a look before turning back to JJ. "Not a whole game." The two shared a laugh as Morgan thought of his turn.

"Ok, never have I ever…gotten flowers delivered to me at the office, Miss Garcia." Garcia squealed and dropped a finger, having just gotten flowers from Kevin Lynch roughly a month ago, but Dave could still be heard over her squeals of delight.

"When did you get flowers delivered at the office, Aaron?"

The team turned to look at their unit chief, and sure enough another finger had gone down. "Two years ago for my birthday. I had gotten Haley flowers for her birthday that year, and Jack didn't think it was fair that I wasn't getting any for my birthday." Smiles and laughter engulfed the room as little Jack popped into everyone's head.

JJ, after reaching over and subtly rubbing Aaron's leg as he spoke of his son, got the game back into play. "Ok Spence, you're up. And remember, no work stuff."

"Never have I ever…been to prom." The girls all dropped as a finger, as did Aaron once again. None of the other males dropped fingers.

Prentiss was amazed as she gawked at her male co-workers. "You guys seriously never went to your prom?" All three shook their heads as Prentiss shook her head in amazement.

Aaron was up next. "Never have I ever had a hangover." Six fingers were dropped, as were six jaws.

Dave scoffed, convinced his friend was lying. "You're shitting us."

Aaron shook his head. "Never had a hangover in my life."

Morgan was beyond himself. "How in the hell is that even possible man?"

Aaron shrugged, taking a sip of his wine. "I drink smart, I guess."

There was a moment of silence before the game commenced as JJ turned towards Aaron, a smile on her face. "Never have I ever been flashed in a public setting OUTSIDE of spring break or Mardi Gras." The three mouths that had opened to question shut immediately, and only one finger went down.

"You're evil."

"Wait Hotch, you were flashed in public? Outside of a normal flashing period of time?"

Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing there was no way out of telling the story. "It was during a case I was prosecuting. The woman was off her medication and as I was questioning her on the stand, she calmly stood up and flashed me and the entire courtroom." The room exploded with laughter, including Aaron who nudged JJ with a smile on his face.

Dave was up next. "Never have I ever…celebrated a birthday outside the country." Both Prentiss and Aaron shot Dave a glare as they lowered their fingers while Prentiss thought of the next one.

"Never have I ever…gone to graduate school of any kind." Aaron dropped a finger for law school while Spencer dropped one for his numerous graduate degrees.

"And we're back to me! Now, my honey muffins, for this round it can only be about work! Never have I ever…wrote a book Mr. Big Shot." Dave grunted and dropped a finger, muttering about being singled out.

Morgan and Garcia shared a look before he began. "Never have I ever kissed a co-worker." Garcia quickly dropped a finger before joining her friends in their glancing between their unit chief and media liaison, somewhat disappointed when only the media liaison dropped a finger. "Who you been kissing JJ?"

JJ glared at Morgan, a smirk on her face. "No one at the bureau Morgan, it was at a job I had in college at a public relations position."

It was Reid's turn and the poor genius struggled to think of something while also keeping track of his fingers and the stories his co-workers were telling. "Ok um…uh never have I ever…been inside the cockpit of the BAU jet." Everyone turned to the others, puzzled as they realized they hadn't either; only Aaron dropped a finger.

"It's the exact same as any other cockpit, I assure you." Everyone laughed, not surprised that Aaron would be the one person who had been in the cockpit of their jet.

It was Aaron's turn to smirk down at JJ. "Never have I ever fallen asleep in the wrong hotel room."

JJ glared full on at Aaron as she slowly dropped a finger. "You son of a bitch!" He just laughed and took another sip of wine, finishing his glass and setting it on the side table beside him.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! JJ, my dove, you fell asleep in Hotch-man's hotel room?"

JJ got defensive as she turned to her friend. "I was really tired and I honestly thought it was mine! He was in the bathroom when I went in and I just fell on the bed and went to sleep!"

The whole team was laughing at poor JJ's expense. "Hotch what did you do?"

Aaron composed himself enough to answer, but it took some effort. "I can't professionally share a room with a subordinate of the opposite sex, so I went and had Prentiss switch rooms with me. We carried JJ's stuff over and just swapped rooms." JJ continued to glare at her friend sitting beside her as the rest tried to control themselves.

"Laugh all you want, I refuse to play dirty Aaron Hotchner." She quickly continued before he or anyone else could counter that she had actually started it. "Let's see…never have I ever…worn official FBI issued boots." Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, and Rossi all dropped fingers. Morgan gave Hotch a surprised look.

"Hotch you've never worn a pair of the boots?"

Aaron looked at Morgan as though he had asked if the sky was blue. "Have you ever seen me in anything that would go with combat boots?" It took several minutes for everyone to calm down; Morgan and Prentiss were clutching their sides and Garcia had tears in her eyes. Dave turned bright red and almost fell off the couch.

Dave took a few more deep breaths before he could finally speak. "Oh Jesus…ok my turn. Never have I ever…" He turned to Aaron, a knowing smirk on his face. Aaron stared at his friend for a few moments, trying to figure out what the older man was thinking before it clicked; he immediately glared at his good friend.

"Don't you dare."

Dave just continued to smirk. "Never have I ever had my ass grabbed while on a case."

Aaron's glare just intensified. "Jackass." Nevertheless, he put one more finger down.

JJ perked up and swiveled her head between the two. "Story please!" Four other heads shook rapidly in agreement.

Aaron sighed. "We were working a child abduction and were interviewing the parents and close family and friends. I stepped into another room with the father and on the way...a close friend of the family reached over as I passed her and…"

Dave couldn't stop himself from finishing. "Grabbed your ass." Aaron just glared harder as the laughter rose.

Prentiss looked around, remembering it was her turn. "Ok um…never have I ever…ok Dave, never have I ever called Strauss an inappropriate name to her face." Dave dropped a finger as expected, but what shocked everyone was when Aaron dropped a finger as well. "What?"

"It was right after I was given unit chief. She and I got into it one day and I…may have called her an inappropriate name before exiting her office. She couldn't actually prove I said anything, but it definitely didn't make her like me any more." Each member of his team gained a little more respect for Aaron when they heard that.

"Sorry Hotch, I was trying to get Dave."

Aaron laughed. "It's fine, just wait until your next evaluation." Everyone laughed and rolled their eyes.

"Ok pumpkin cakes, what's everybody at? I have 6."

Morgan. "7."

Reid. "7."

"How in the hell do we have the same?"

"Shut up Morgan!"

Aaron. "How in the hell do I have one?"

"Shut up Aaron. I have 5."

Dave. "Same as JJ, 5."

Prentiss. "6. You can get Hotch out Garcia."

Aaron looked like someone had just kicked a puppy. "Are you guys seriously ganging up on me?"

The whole team immediately went to assure him they weren't, but JJ smacked her hand against his leg, her eyes still on Garcia. "Of course we are, now shush! Go for it Garcia."

Garcia stared at her boss for a moment before blushing and smiling at the same time. "Sorry my wonderful Boss Man…never have I ever worn only black and white to work."

Aaron slowly lowered a finger, his eyes boring into Garcia's. "You're fired."

Even though he had no fingers left, Aaron and the rest of the team continued to laugh and play the night away until it was finally time for everyone to head back home. After saying goodnights, everyone headed out to their cars as Dave stood on the porch, waving goodbye as the team drove out of his long driveway.

Aaron and JJ both had smiles on their faces as Aaron drove towards JJ's place. The pair remained silent for a good portion of the drive, both content with the night and the company they had earlier at Dave's and currently in the car. JJ finally turned and looked over at Aaron, her smile growing a bit at the sight of his. "Did you have a good time?"

Aaron nodded, glancing at JJ for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. "Absolutely. Did you?"

JJ nodded, a sigh escaping her lips. "I had a great time. We need to start doing this more often…hanging out as a team outside of work and cases."

Aaron nodded again, turning onto the main road leading to JJ's neighborhood. "I completely agree."

JJ sat up, pulling her head from the headrest as she stared out the windshield. "You seemed really relaxed tonight. It's been a while since everyone's seen you smile."

Aaron continued to stare out the windshield, knowing the team had been worrying about him recently. "It was nice to just relax and let go of everything for a while. You always joke that I don't laugh enough."

JJ chuckled lightly, picking at her nails. "You laugh around me all the time."

Aaron looked over and gave her a big smile as he turned onto her street. "I'm not guarded when I'm around you."

JJ's heart skipped about twenty beats at Aaron's words; he felt safe enough around her to let his walls down. It was definitely the best compliment she had ever been given and she couldn't have stopped the enormous smile that overtook her whole face if she wanted to.

Aaron parked the car in front of her place, turning to look at the woman beside him, admiring how simply magnificent she was. The two just stared at each other for a few moments, smiles on each of their faces before they finally broke the contact between them.

"See you at the office tomorrow?"

Aaron nodded. "Sure. Normal time." JJ nodded, reaching for the door handle but turning back to Aaron before getting out of the car.

"Sleep well Aaron."

Aaron smiled at JJ again, pausing briefly before deciding to throw caution to the wind. He leaned forward, quickly pressing his lips against JJ's forehead, but lingering for a moment before pulling away. JJ forgot to breathe the moment his lips touched her skin. "Goodnight JJ."

The two shared one final smile before JJ hopped out of the car, walking up to her front door and waving at Aaron as she entered her place. Aaron sat momentarily in the driveway, the smile still on his face as JJ leaned against her front door, her own smile plastered on her face. Aaron and JJ sat still for a moment before resuming their lives, both amazed at how positively and utterly happy they both felt.

* * *

_Author's Note: Next chapter is a HUGE change in Aaron and JJ's relationship. Thanks for staying with it so long, hope this chapter and the rest to follow don't disappoint, and, as always, if you feel so inclined I'd love to hear your feedback!_


	16. Chapter 16

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

JJ walked into the BAU offices with a large smile on her face and a stack of case files in her arms, but the smile quickly left her face as she took in her friends' concerned faces standing in the bullpen. Morgan, Prentiss, Reid and Rossi all turned to JJ, all frowning but slightly more relieved to see JJ finally enter the office. JJ approached the group, stopping between Rossi and Morgan, glancing at all four of them. "What's going on guys?"

They all shrugged and JJ saw how they all shot a quick glance up towards Hotch's office before looking back at each other. Rossi turned to JJ. "Something's up with Hotch. He entered the office with that 'don't-fuck-with-me' look he gets and no one can figure out what's changed from last night."

JJ was now just as confused as everyone else; Hotch had left the office with the rest of the team last night, standing with the team in the bullpen for almost ten minutes just to talk and laugh. He had walked down to the parking garage with JJ and given her a hug before they separated for the night. With how close they had gotten over the past few months, JJ assumed if something bad had happened he would have called her. It wasn't about a case, their last case had gone off without a hitch and JJ had yet to clear a new one with Hotch. She figured Hotch's mood had to do with Foyet, and it automatically caused her heart to race.

Reid rubbed his hands together, obviously nervous of his boss's mood. "We were thinking it would be best if you-"

JJ held up her free hand, effectively silencing her normally rambling teammate. "Say no more; I'll go talk to him." She handed her stuff over to Prentiss, who followed JJ to the stairs; Prentiss veered off, heading to JJ's office to drop her coat, bag, and case files off for her as JJ headed up the staircase, knocking on Hotch's door before she was greeted with a quick "come in" from the other side of the door. She entered instantly, shutting the door completely behind her as she entered Hotch's office.

His desk was covered in case files while he worked on more than one at once, as usual. JJ couldn't see anything particularly out of place or strange about Hotch, except that he wouldn't look up to meet her eye. "What do you need?"

JJ wasn't sure if Hotch knew which member of the team had entered his office, but she hoped he knew it was her. "Is everything ok? The team said something seemed up."

Hotch looked up and met JJ's eyes full on. She definitely noticed a flash of something in his eyes but he instantly covered it the moment it appear, and she couldn't be sure of what she saw. "Everything's fine."

Hotch was never short with JJ but it seemed as though he adamantly refused to speak more than absolutely necessary. JJ nodded her head, deciding not to push Hotch. If he said he was fine, then there was nothing JJ could do but wait for him to come to her. "Ok. Are we still on for tonight? I was think-"

"I can't see you tonight." JJ stopped dead, staring straight into his emotionless eyes. He didn't even blink.

JJ internally shook herself, mentally hyping herself up so she didn't get affected by his tone. She plastered a small but very fake smile on her face, positive that he had a great reason for calling off their pre-planned dinner and movie night. "Ok, no big deal, we can just-"

"JJ." Even her name was said in that unemotional, clipped tone. She'd _never_ had that tone directed at her, not once in all the years they'd known each other and worked so closely together. Even through her first few months of adjusting to the way he ran his team, even through all the hardships their cases put on their shoulders, even through Foyet's attack and his recovery, he'd never spoken to her like this.

She tried to stay just as unemotional as Hotch was, but she could feel her chest rise and fall a little more pronouncedly, her breathing a little more audible and she could feel the blood pulsing in her veins as her heart raced a mile a minute. She divided her attention between remaining as calm as she possibly could and listening to the man sitting so calmly before her. "Our primary relationship is here, at work. I'm your boss and you're my subordinate."

"I understand that." JJ was proud her voice was currently strong, but she could feel herself getting more and more emotional every second Hotch stared at her with that distant, detached look in his eye.

"Do you?" He just continued to stare at her as JJ's heart began to beat uncontrollably.

"Hotch, what are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is that out personal relationship outside this office is inappropriate." JJ knew Hotch both heard and saw her intake in breath. She couldn't do anything for several minutes but fight against the overpowering emotions lying just beneath her surface. She felt like someone was reaching inside her and squeezing her heart. She shook her head, closing her eyes as she tried to get a handle on the situation.

"How is it inappropriate for us to be friends? We're close, what's wrong with that?"

"It complicates our working relationship."

"Teammates are supposed to be close, it's why this team functions so well. We're all good friends with each other, this whole team is a giant family! It doesn't complicate anything!" She could hear the hysteria beginning to creep into her voice and she took a deep breath to try to keep it under control. How in the hell was he so calm about this! JJ felt like she was been tortured, and Hotch just sat there like he was discussing a missing signature on a final case report.

"I'm not just your teammate, I'm your boss. It's different than the rest of the team." JJ stared at Hotch, amazed that his excuse was so incredibly weak. The fact that Hotch was her boss had made no difference when she had practically lived with him or through their weekly dinner-movie nights or the times he crashed at her place or the times they laughed together on the jet or the times she and he holed themselves up in Garcia's office when new footage of Jack arrived.

"So because you're my boss we can't be close?" JJ had seen Hotch pull rank in the field when he absolutely needed to, but she had never seen him pull rank just for the sake of it. JJ knew all this was utter bullshit; there was no reason they couldn't be close. She knew there was nothing against a friendship between the two of them. Hell, there was no reason they couldn't be in an intimate relationship. The Bureau frowned upon superior-subordinate relationships, but JJ knew she and Hotch could find a loophole. She was _technically_ a public relations agent, she wasn't an actual profiler and she didn't have to be an active field member. There were tons of ways they could get around anything standing in the way of any type of relationship they may have…JJ had checked more than once.

"It isn't appropriate."

JJ narrowed her eyes, refusing to believe it was that simple. "What is this really about, Hotch? Because I don't buy that this is about being inappropriate." She wracked her brain trying to figure out why Hotch was doing this. As far as she knew nothing had changed. They had happily made plans to get together tonight only two days ago, yesterday they had had lunch together and laughed when JJ had knocked her water bottle clear off the table when she got excited. He had continually opened up to her about Jack, and he was doing surprisingly well being separated from his son in order to keep him safe. She knew for a fact he hadn't opened up to anyone else about what he had been–and still was–going through, but he had told JJ he didn't have to be guarded with her like he did with everyone else.

JJ knew something else was going on here, and she desperately wanted him to just open up and tell her what was really going on.

"A personal relationship can never interfere with our job, JJ."

"But ours never has-" They were so careful to keep their personal life as separate from their jobs as humanly possible. It was one thing they both agreed on as they had started becoming closer and closer the past few months. They knew they couldn't let a personal friendship come between their work, and they were both too dedicated to the separation to allow it to ever happen.

"But it will."

"You don't know that, damnit!" She was getting upset to the point that it was almost impossible for her to stay passive and controlled. She was terrified that she was going to lose Aaron, and that idea paralyzed her.

"It isn't appropriate, JJ."

JJ suddenly noticed that Aaron wasn't in perfect focus anymore. A thin layer of moisture had settled over her eyes, and JJ knew Aaron could see the tears in her eyes. The intensity and anger had left her voice, but the utter desperation was still present, even though she had no more energy to raise her voice above a whisper. "You're my best friend. Please, be honest with me and tell me what's going on…_please_." She didn't care is she was begging…she would do _anything_ to hold on to Aaron.

"This is how it has to be. A personal relationship isn't appropriate."

That calm, unemotional tone he used pushed the anger to reappear inside of her. "This is ridiculous! There's no reason we can't be friends and you know it Aaron!"

"Agent Jareau." JJ stopped dead, a pause settling over the room. JJ felt the first tear fall from her eye as the silence persisted. Hotch hadn't used her official title or actual last name since the first time they met. Even when introducing her on cases, he always introduced her as JJ, never Agent Jareau. JJ knew, in that moment, without a doubt, that she couldn't fight to hold on to Aaron. The absolute detachment in his tone and on his face told JJ that he had let her go and hadn't look back. "I am your boss. You are my subordinate. I'm sorry, but that's what our relationship is."

"Ye-" JJ's voice broke but she stopped herself, taking a deep breath and trying, but failing, to subtly wipe the tear off her cheek before she regained enough composure to actually speak. "Yes sir."

"Do you need anything else?" Still detached and completely unemotional; it was as though the conversation never happened.

"No sir." _Detached. Unemotional. Unaffected. Strong. Do. Not. Break. Down. Just get out of here in one piece, Jay._

One curt nod and he was back to his paperwork, leaving JJ to stand there for a moment before turning on her heel and practically sprinting from his office. She didn't know what to do; she felt completely lost, and the one person who she wanted to turn to was gone. She turned and immediately moved to Dave's office, walking in and shutting the door behind her. She just stood there, in the middle of the room, her eyes staring at Dave without taking him in.

Dave looked up the instant he heard JJ's deep breathing come from the hallway. He hung up on the administrator on the phone, no longer interested in pretending to give a rat's ass about whatever he was babbling about when JJ looked so…broken. "JJ? What's wrong, where's Aaron?"

At the mention of Aaron's name, JJ started shaking, her breathing becoming even louder, but she didn't move. She didn't cry or speak or sit or walk. She simply stood in the middle of the room and focused on nothing else but the feeling of her heart breaking. She had just lost her best friend and the man she loved more than she had ever loved anything in her entire life. And she had no idea how to get him back…or if she even could.

Dave stood and rushed over to her, taking in her shaking form before wrapping his arms around her. He knew something monumentally terrible had just happened, and he had a feeling his idiot best friend next door was the culprit. But he'd deal with Aaron later. He would _definitely_ deal with Aaron later. He didn't know any details, but if his best friend could make someone as wonderful as JJ feel like this, he was going to have to deal with Dave Rossi. Right now, he had to take care of the tiny blonde in his arms, even though they both knew Aaron should be the one holding her as she broke.


	17. Chapter 17

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

Twenty-three days. In twenty-three days the elite BAU team had successfully subdued five different UNSUBs in Birmingham, Augusta, Cleveland, Dallas, and Indianapolis. Cleveland, Dallas, and Indianapolis weren't terribly straining, but Birmingham was a sexual sadist who not only murdered seven new mothers but kept them chained up in a basement for five days to do with as he pleased. Augusta was even worse. Six little girls snatched from their beds in the middle night. The oldest was twelve; the youngest was three weeks from turning seven when her body was found. It had taken a lot for each member of the team to shake that case off, but JJ, who had sat by all six sets of parents as they cried, screamed, lashed out, broken down…she was still carrying residual effects of that case.

It had also been twenty-three days since JJ had spoken to Hotch outside of a work-related context. No matter how awful they were feeling, no matter how heavily the case at hand weighed down on them, they remained professional, distant, and cold towards each other. JJ knew the 'our-relationship-is-inappropriate' argument was just a cover, but after she had left Hotch's office that day, she had been too big of a coward to push him further. She had pulled away from him after their confrontation just as much as he had, and she was starting to lose hope of every getting her best friend back.

The days were getting harder and harder to get through; she didn't realize just how much of a difference he made on the smallest parts of her day until she lost that closeness with him. All the little smiles they used to shoot at each other as they passed in the hallways. The silly jokes in his office when she had to get his signature on some random case report. The reassuring glances they would give one another during the team briefing. Unconsciously, but somehow still purposefully, teaming up together on the cases, whether it was in the field, at a victim's home, or at the command center. The rides to the police station once the jet landed that weren't as professional as they technically should have been. The jokes and laughs and smiles and comforting talks on the jet ride home. The lingering goodnights at the end of the day.

JJ hated going to the office. She hated walking through the bullpen and right past his office, where he was always already hard at work, every single day to get to her own office. She hated sitting at her desk looking through case files, knowing that at any second she could have to go gather the team and present the case with him. She hated sitting at the desk looking through case files, her mind still in the habit of trying to find an excuse to go visit his office. She hated going on cases and being paired with Morgan or Rossi or Prentiss, trying to adapt to how they worked in the field and never having that special connection that just allowed her to read their minds. She hated been paired with Morgan or Rossi or Prentiss, worrying relentlessly about him but completely unable do anything about it. She hated the jet ride home, trying to be social with the team she so desperately loved but secretly dying on the inside that they couldn't just sneak off to the opposite end of the jet so they could sit right next to each other and spend the ride together. She hated locking her office at the end of the day, walking past his office where he was still slaving away, getting into her car and driving home all alone before doing it all over again the next day.

She had tried being angry, but she couldn't keep forcing herself to be mad when she really wasn't. She tried sucking it up and pretending it didn't make a damn difference to her, but it was too hard to keep a smile on her face when it was a lie. She just wanted her best friend back. She wanted to be happy, she wanted him to be happy, and she wanted them to be happy with each other.

JJ sighed as she stood outside his door, hesitating for a second before raising her hand to knock. She could feel the rest of her team staring at her with sympathetic eyes but she didn't care anymore. They all knew how badly she was doing, and denying it hadn't fooled them. Best to just let profilers be profilers and not waste her energy in lying about how she was feeling. No one could fix it, so they just needed to stop worrying about her and let it go in her opinion, but she was too exhausted to snap at her friends again.

She grasped the doorknob as she heard a commanding 'come in' from the other side of the door, and her mind momentarily snapped to a few weeks ago when he had joked about her walking into his office without bothering to knock. She shook the thought from her head and walked in, no smile plastered on her face. Her energy was being completely focused on keeping her eyes vacant of any emotions that could give her feelings away.

He looked up from his case files, his eyes just as guarded as hers. "What can I do for you?"

JJ shuffled the case file in front of her and grabbed the paper she needed, swiftly handing it over to him, her hand at the very top of the page while his grabbed the paper from the very bottom. "I just need a signature to close this file."

He quickly signed it and handed it back to her the same way it had been originally exchanged before JJ turned and walked out of the office, closing the door behind her.

She made sure her eyes stayed glued straight in front of her as she walked by his office. But if she hadn't been so dedicated in looking anywhere but his office, she probably would have noticed the way his eyes stayed glued on her as she walked past his office.

* * *

JJ sighed, glancing at the clock once again before looking around her office, trying to locate something she could smash against the wall. She only had about ten minutes to get the paperwork in for it to go through and she was still struggling with the decision. She had gotten the papers drawn up over a week ago, but they had just been sitting in her desk drawer. She had kept hoping something would happen that would make her change her mind, but nothing had. She now had a nightly routine of pulling the papers out before she left, fighting with herself about what to do with them before finally putting them back in the desk drawer.

Unable to find anything to break, she looked at the papers one last time. Before she could change her mind, she grabbed her coat, her bag, and her keys, flicking off the lights and locking her door, the papers in her hand. She walked straight to his office and knocked, entering swiftly as soon as she was giving the ok.

As always, he was working on a case file but looked up once she enter. He sat for a moment and JJ moved before he could say anything; she stepped forward and put the papers down on his desk before stepping back again, almost as though she were unable to be too close to him.

"I'm putting in a request for two weeks off. For personal reasons. It's already been approved, you just need to sign it and it'll go through." She had meant to sound a little more eloquent, but she was still proud she had managed to get it out.

He looked slightly puzzled as he stared at the paper in his hand. JJ could have sworn she saw a glance of something else flash across his face for a split second, but she immediately ignored it. It wasn't her place anymore.

"Can I ask why you're taking time away now?"

JJ wanted to take a deep breath to calm herself, but she didn't want to give herself away. "I just need a few days away from work. I haven't taken any personal time in a long time." She knew she didn't really give him any sort of an answer, but she didn't expect him to argue with her anymore.

He stayed still for another moment before nodding, putting the paper back on his desk. "We'll see you in two weeks. Enjoy the time off."

She nodded and swiftly exited the room, faintly hearing her name being said as the door was shutting behind her, but she pretended she didn't. Instead, she bolted straight into Dave's office, shutting the door behind her as he looked up. "I'm taking two weeks off."

Dave sighed and shook his head, standing up to move around his desk, coming to a stop in front of her. He was still the only person in the world who knew about JJ's deep attachment to the man in the next office over, and he was also the only one JJ had spoken to about the loss of her friendship with him. It had taken a lot of convincing on JJ's part to keep Dave from kicking his friend's ass for making JJ feel this way, but he had promised JJ he wouldn't say or do anything.

"Honey, are you sure this is what you want?"

JJ nodded, her eyes staring off into space, and Dave could tell she was fighting against tears again. She had kept so much bottled in, but he wasn't an idiot; this distance from Hotch was tearing her apart. "I need some real distance. It's…this is just too hard right now."

Dave was getting more and more pissed off, as he usually did when he saw JJ this upset. "I'm going to talk-"

"No you're not." Dave immediately shut up at the intensity in JJ's tone and eyes. No matter how terrible she felt about the situation, she always adamantly stood between Hotch and Dave. "I don't care how pissed off you are about all this, you will NOT do anything to make his life harder right now. If he wants distance from me, then he will get distance from me, no matter how hard it is for me." Her voice was breaking slightly but her eyes showed just how serious she was. "I swear to God, if you make this harder for him or make him feel bad, I will end your life."

Dave was floored once again but how deeply JJ loved the idiot Dave considered to be one of his closest and dearest friends. "JJ, he has no right to put you through this."

"Dave, you are NOT going to make things harder for him. I know you're trying to look out for me, but you've been his friend for years. He really needs support right now, even if he isn't directly asking for it. If he doesn't want to talk to me…" She looked down, clenching her eyes shut for a moment before looking back at Dave. "You have to be there for him. He needs you a lot more than I do."

Dave sighed. He desperately wanted to beat some sense into Hotch, but he was positive JJ would truly destroy him if he did. He nodded, knowing that JJ was right. Hotch was going through something none of them had ever experienced in their lives, and even though he had no right making JJ feel this way, he knew Hotch was having the hardest time. JJ nodded, reaching forward and giving Dave a quick hug. "I'll see you in two weeks. Take care of the team while I'm gone." Her eyes glanced to the left wall, and Dave knew she what she was going to say before the words came out of her mouth. "Take care of him."

He nodded once again. "I will." He walked out with her and watched her leave the office from the railing, his anger growing more and more with each step she took.

He knew he promised her he wouldn't do anything. Hell he had _just_ promised her he wouldn't. He knew he had no right making things harder on Hotch, but he couldn't stop himself. He pushed away from the railing and barged right into Hotch's office, his eyes locking straight on the desk in front of him. He was slightly taken back when he didn't immediately see Hotch behind it, but his eyes quickly found him, standing by the tall windows of his office, staring out into space. Dave wasn't even sure he knew someone else was in the office.

"Aaron!"

Hotch turned, slightly confused that another person was in the office with him. He looked at Dave for a moment before he looked away, a look Dave couldn't place crossing his features before he moved back to his desk. "Sorry Dave."

"We have to talk right now! What are you doing?" Dave turned around as Hotch stormed past him, coat and keys in hand as he made his way out of his office. Dave glanced back at Hotch's desk: two case files were still open and his suit jacket was still on the chair. "Aaron!"

Hotch paused at the doorway of his office, turning around to face his friend once again. "I have to go Dave, I'm sorry. We'll talk tomorrow." Before Dave could open his mouth to respond, Hotch was already gone.

* * *

JJ sat on her bed, staring at the cell phone in her hand, contemplating turning it on for the twentieth time since she had gotten home ten minutes ago. She had turned it off after she had left the FBI building, determined not to turn it on again until tomorrow at the earliest. She sighed and threw the phone back on the bed before throwing herself back on the bed as well. She stared up at the ceiling for several moments, trying but failing to think about anything but Aaron.

She sat up immediately when she heard her front door being opened, her FBI training kicking in as she grabbed her gun off her nightstand. She began moving out the door but stopped when she recognized the voice calling out her name from her living room. She placed the gun on her dresser as she moved out into the living area.

JJ stopped in the hallway leading from her bedroom to the living room, her eyes staring straight at Aaron. He didn't have a suit jacket on, his gun wasn't on his hip, and he looked more disheveled than she had ever seen him, but his eyes were focused only on her. He held up a piece of paper, and JJ didn't have to move any closer to see what it was; a black and white photo of them on a walk, both of them laughing at God knows what. He turned the paper over, and JJ gasped as she read what was on the back.

_You sure do like the blonde ones, don't you Aaron? Must admit, you upgraded with this one__ in my opinion. She should be tons of fun._

_See Jennifer and you soon._

At the bottom was none other than The Reaper's signature.

Aaron slammed the photo down on the table, his eyes burning with intensity. JJ hadn't moved a muscle when he threw down the picture; she couldn't tear her eyes away from his.

"He's targeting you, JJ. He's coming after you. And you're the one person I CAN NOT lose."


	18. Chapter 18

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

"_He's targeting you, JJ. He's coming after you. And you're the one person I CAN NOT lose."_

JJ stood completely still, not one inch of her body moving. It was as though she were bolted directly to the ground. She desperately wanted to move, wanted to rush to the other side of the room, but she absolutely couldn't force her body to move.

Aaron, on the other hand, couldn't stop moving. He paced a short line back and forth, continually shifting and changing his position. He ran his hand through his hair, his eyes alternating between staring at the picture on the table, JJ, and the floor before he shut his eyes tightly. His breathing was loud and out of control. This secret had been driving him insane for almost four weeks, and now that he had finally admitted it out loud–admitted that Foyet wanted JJ–the fear he had initially felt upon discovering the picture in his apartment unfortunately didn't dissipate. He was even more terrified…terrified that he wouldn't be able to keep JJ safe, but just as terrified that she wouldn't forgive him for what he had done to her.

"That's why I pushed you away. God I didn't want to JJ, you have no idea how difficult that was for me to do. I knew I was hurting you but I didn't know what else to do."

JJ stayed impeccably still as Aaron desperately tried to think of some way to adequately explain himself.

"It's no excuse, I hurt you and…I can't believe I hurt you, JJ. I had to put you at arm's length, had to get you away from me, I honestly thought it was my only option. I…"

Aaron sighed deeply and looked down at the floor, running a hand through his hair again. He shook his head and looked up, his eyes staring straight into JJ's from across the room. She deserved the truth, and he was going to look her straight in the eye when she got it.

"He knows you're the only person I can't lose. He knows how important you are to me, how much I need you just to function JJ. If he ever…if anything ever happened to…"

He desperately wanted to look away, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than he ever had in his entire life. But he forced himself to keep staring straight into JJ's eyes; she deserved no less and she would get nothing less.

"JJ I wouldn't survive losing you. And Foyet knows that. You're the one person I _need_. If anything happened to you…if he hurt you or…if he hurt you because of me, it would destroy me."

JJ took a sharp intake of breath, her first movement since Aaron slammed the photo down on her table. She opened her mouth, wanting to interject, but Aaron panicked at the idea of what she had to say. He just continued to talk, cutting her off before she could even begin.

"I know I lied to you, I know I kept something important from you, something you deserved to know, but I…when I saw this, I just…I _have_ to keep you safe, and I thought keeping you away from me was the best way to do it. But you being away from me is killing me. I can't take it anymore, I can't stay away from you for another second."

He shut his eyes for a moment, bracing himself for what was to come next. He knew his next few words would ultimately destroy his friendship with JJ, regardless of what followed after.

"JJ…"

The two just stared at each other for a moment, not speaking, not moving, not even breathing.

"I can't let anything happen to you, you're too important to me. JJ…"

Another moment of silence passed as the two stared at each other for another moment.

"I'm in love with you."

JJ gasped at his admission, her eyes widening as her hand shot up to her lips. Aaron just continued to stare straight at her, utterly terrified but elated that he got to tell JJ he loved her at least once. JJ felt a tear fall down her cheek, quickly followed by another, and the sight of JJ crying nearly took Aaron to his knees.

"You...love me?"

Aaron nodded, no longer caring if their friendship was over, even if the idea of losing her was the hardest thing he could imagine. Telling JJ the truth–that he loved her–was one of the best decisions he had ever made. Even if it cost him everything, he wouldn't take that moment back for anything in the world.

"More than anything."

JJ felt as though her heart was about to burst. She felt more tears fall down her face but she could also feel the smile that was growing as she continued to marvel at Aaron. He loved her…Aaron Hotchner _loved_ her.

Aaron couldn't focus on anything but how much he loved the woman standing before him. Now that he had finally admitted that JJ had taken ownership of his heart, there was nothing else he wanted to focus on. He just wanted to tell her he loved her until the end of time. He took one step closer to her but then stopped.

"I love you."

JJ finally couldn't hold it back anymore. She fully started to cry, tears pouring down her face but her heart racing faster than it ever had before. She had never felt so incredible in her whole life. She didn't care that the bastard who had tried to kill Aaron was now coming after her, she didn't care that Aaron had pushed her away for the worst twenty-three days of her life, and she definitely didn't care about any rules or regulations or consequences there might be; Aaron loved her. And she loved him.

"Please say something JJ."

JJ didn't even realize she had been silent for so long. She stared at Aaron, realizing that he had just been as vulnerable with her as he had ever been with anyone, and he still didn't understand that JJ felt the exact same.

"Aaron, I love you. I do, I have for so-"

JJ had continued to talk but Aaron didn't need to hear any of it. As soon as she said she loved him too, he crossed the room and grabbed her, his hands reaching up to cup her face as he brought her lips up to meet his.

With the force that Aaron had come at her with, JJ had expected their lips to crash together in a disorganized frenzy, to fight and pull and tangle with each other in some uncontrollable kiss. But when Aaron kissed her, his lips didn't overpower hers with any sort of overly passionate dominance. His force seemed to slow as his soon as his face leaned down to meet hers, and his lips gently and sweetly caressed hers; his kiss was filled with nothing but love, as though he had planned out this first kiss with JJ a million times before…which he had, time and time again.

While their first kiss was gentle and sweet and loving, their second kiss was completely different but just as powerful. Aaron pulled away for a moment, subconsciously separating their first kiss from their second, and both of them ached at the loss of contact, desperately wanting to feel the other's lips against their own more than they wanted anything else in the world. All it took was JJ's sigh of Aaron's name to push him to crush his lips against hers the way she had previously expected.

No man had ever kissed JJ with so much passion. Her whole body went weak in Aaron's arms and she had to grip the front of his suit jacket with all her might to try to remain standing. Aaron, realizing JJ was inadvertently trying to take the two of them to the ground thanks to her weakened knees, grasped her hips tightly in order to keep the two of them upright. With such a grip on her hips, Aaron couldn't stop himself from pulling JJ's body flush against his own, and JJ was more than willing to help him close the gap between their bodies.

The second her body molded perfectly against Aaron's, JJ could no longer fight the moan she had been battling against since Aaron's lips crashed against hers for the second time. Aaron almost became undone when JJ moaned against his lips, but he managed to control himself enough to use it to his advantage as he deepened the kiss, somehow pulling JJ even closer against his body and eliciting another moan from the woman in his arms.

Aaron continued to hold JJ tightly against him as he finally pulled his lips away from JJ's, both of them breathing heavily, their chests colliding as they rose and fell together, but he couldn't keep his lips away from her. He kissed her lips, cheeks, eyelids, forehead, and every inch of her he had access to, all the while muttering apologies as his lips connected with her skin, making her whole body feel as though she were on fire.

"I'm sorry JJ…" He kissed her lips before moving to her forehead as JJ tried to catch her breath beneath him. "God I'm sorry…" Her forehead again, followed by her cheek, then back to her lips. "I'm sorry…"

JJ released his jacket, reaching her arms around his neck as she held him tightly against her, kissing his cheek, temple, and the side of his neck that she could reach. She ran her hand through his hair at the back of his neck, her other hand gripping his back as tightly as she could. "Shut up Aaron, just shut the hell up." He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her up so he could hold even more of her against him, but he couldn't stop apologizing.

"I hurt you, God I know I hurt you…"

JJ closed her eyes tightly, tears beginning to fall down her face again as she held Aaron tightly to her. "It hurt you too Aaron."

"JJ, I'm so sorry, I…"

JJ pulled back, reaching up to grab Aaron's face, forcing him to look no where but directly at her. "Aaron Hotchner, shut the hell up and listen to me right now!" Aaron immediately shut his mouth and stared deeply into JJ's eyes. "I _forgive_ you. I understand why you did what you did, and I know it hurt you just as much as it hurt me. I know how terrifying all of this is…I almost lost you and it would have killed me if I had. But you have to remember that we're stronger together."

She stared at him, amazed at the man she loved so fully and completely standing before her. She still couldn't believe Aaron loved her, that he had just pushed her away in order to protect her. She leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly against his lips first, then more firmly against his forehead before pulling away and looking at him again. "I love you, Aaron, so much…" He smiled at her and her heart skipped a beat. "You have to let this go, you can't hang on to this. You did what you thought you had to do. We're here, together, and nothing else matters. Let this go. Promise me."

Aaron stared at JJ for a moment before sighing, all the tension he had been holding in his shoulders leaving his body as he relaxed under JJ's touch. He nodded, leaning forward to kiss JJ once again, unable to stop himself. "I promise."

JJ gave Aaron a huge smile and earned one herself in return before she pulled Aaron against her once again, holding onto him tightly as he wrapped his arms just as tightly around her waist. "I love you so much JJ."

JJ closed her eyes, the smile still very prevalent on her face. "I love you too Aaron."

After holding each other for a few more moments, just relishing the contact of the other and ignoring everything else in the world, the pair finally moved to JJ's couch, tangling their bodies as they stretched out. Aaron laid fully against the couch as JJ sat on his lap, leaning against the back of the couch and holding one of his hands in both of hers as his free hand reached over and rubbed her leg. They sat quietly for a few moments until JJ finally squeezed Aaron's hand, breaking the silence. "What do we do?"

Aaron sighed and shut his eyes for a moment. "Honestly, the best option here is for you to disappear into protective custody somewhere…"

JJ was shaking her head before he even had the chance to finish. "No. No way, I'm not going anywhere."

Aaron could tell by the determined look on his face that right now wasn't the time to argue with her. He nodded, his eyes turning to watch his hand rub JJ's leg. "Then we keep you safe here, at all costs. We keep searching for Foyet, and we keep the team informed of everything. If anyone can stop Foyet, it's this team."

JJ chuckled lightly. "With you in the lead, of course."

Aaron smiled, but the thought of Foyet getting JJ still hung in the air between them. JJ absentmindedly began playing with Aaron's fingers. "What about us?"

Aaron sighed again, shifting his focus from the hand resting on her leg to look at her face. "Easy, we go buy a dog."

He chuckled as JJ slapped his arm in response to his sarcastic response to her very serious question. "We both have a lot of baggage, Aaron." He nodded, not denying the fact that they both had been hurt severely in their past relationships.

"We do this our way. However we want." His gaze got much more intense, and JJ felt her blood race in her veins. "JJ, I would _never_ intentionally hurt you…" He immediately stopped talking as he realized he already had; by pushing JJ away for the past few weeks, he had already proved he was no better than Will.

"Aaron Hotchner, you promised me you wouldn't do this." He was pulled out of his thoughts as he looked back at JJ, her face filled with frustration. "You didn't hurt me, you were protecting me." She removed one of her hands from his and ran it though his hair. "I know you're not Will. I know you wouldn't hurt me, Aaron." JJ froze, an image inserting itself into JJ's mind. "What about Jack?"

Aaron chuckled, squeezing her thigh before continuing to rub it. "Jack absolutely loves you. He told me not to tell anyone, but you're his favorite person on the team because, and I quote, 'she's pretty and nice and she's always happy to see me and she makes you smile!' His words, directly." JJ blushed, absolutely relieved that the youngest Hotchner was just as crazy about her as she was about him. She then turned her attention back to the other Hotchner sitting with her.

"I know your divorce hit you hard, especially the last few months you had with Haley…" Aaron shut his eyes for a brief moment, and the action didn't go unnoticed by JJ as she moved to run her hand through his hair again. He instantly relaxed at her touch. "…and I would never try to tarnish the life you two had together, but I'm not her. I know exactly the man you are Aaron, and I love you for who you are, every single part. I know what I'm getting myself into with you, but I don't want to change anything about you. I'm not Haley, Aaron. I love you-"

Aaron leaned forward and pressed his lips against JJ's, inadvertently interrupting her but not feeling too terrible about it. He pulled back momentarily and repositioned JJ so she was laying full on him, her chest pressed against his chest and her head directly under his chin. The two of them stayed in that position, the only movement occurring when Aaron reached behind him to grab a blanket, draping it over the two of them. They stayed like that the whole night, and they woke up to the sun rising in the exact same position.

* * *

Morgan lowered his cup of coffee before he even took a sip, taking in the confused faces of his team members sitting in the conference room. "What?" He checked his watch and rolled his eyes. "I'm not even 20 minutes late-"

"Hotch isn't in yet." Rossi, the only member who wasn't outright concerned about the team's lack of unit chief, smirked to himself as Morgan focused on something other than his own arrival, finally realizing Hotch was no where to be seen.

"Where is he?" Reid shook his head, while Prentiss and Rossi just shrugged. Morgan pulled out his cell phone and began to punch in Hotch's number, stopping when he heard Rossi's chuckle from across the room.

"Already tried calling, but good try."

Prentiss bit the inside of her mouth to keep from smirking herself. "JJ's supposed to be missing since she's on vacation, but Hotch hasn't answered any of our calls. Rossi's convinced there's no reason to be panicked."

Rossi rolled his eyes. "We're having Garcia trace the location of his phone as we speak."

"Statistically speaking-"

"No Reid!" Reid slumped back in his chair as he was shot down by his fellow profilers, everyone turning the instant clicking was heard in the hallway leading to the conference room. Garcia burst in moments later, her face full of shock and her laptop clutched in her arms.

"Oh my goodness!" Rossi's phone beeped, interrupting the technical analyst before she could get to the good part. Garcia paused briefly to glare at the device as well as its owner as he dug it out of his pocket before resuming her rant. "So I ran a trace on our Boss Man's cell phone, which I originally felt icky about but after finding out where our oh-so-able-but-MIA unit chief has disappeared to-"

Rossi stared, smiling like a complete idiot as he reread the text message on his phone's screen. His head shot up and he interrupted Garcia before she could finish, earning himself another pissed off glare. "He's at JJ's."

Reid, Morgan, and Prentiss simply stared at Rossi, completely shell-shocked by his outburst. Garcia, although already knowing where Hotch was from tracing his phone, stared at Rossi with a matching look on her face before nodding her head repeatedly. "That's where his phone is."

The entire team just continued to stare at Rossi, who only started laughing as he read the text message out loud. _"I trust Morgan's made it to the briefing by now. I'm taking a personal day. JJ and I will be in tomorrow. Enjoy the reprieve."_

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks so incredibly much to everyone who's continued to read, hope the big moment was well worth the wait for you! Much love to all and hope you continue to read and enjoy the story!


	19. Chapter 19

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: First of all, thank-you so incredibly much to all of you! This story has been so well-received, it's truly surpassed any hope I had even remotely had when I began writing this. You're all so amazing and I'm so glad you all continue to enjoy the updates.

Secondly, this chapter is much longer than any other chapter in this story. I contemplated breaking it up but I love it too much to mess with it. There's plenty going on so I'm sure you won't be bored, but I apologize if the length bothers anyone.

Also, I despise Erin Strauss (you'll understand why I'm mentioning this). I think Jayne Attkinson does a wonderful job, but I think the actual character is such a bitch. So, although I can't imagine this as a real possibility, if there are any major Strauss-lovers out there, I apologize for the ending of this chapter.

As always, hope you enjoy and if you have a moment, please leave me a review!

* * *

"Did I miss them, are they here, where are they?" Garcia burst into the conference room, immediately drawing the attention of her four team members already seated around the round table. Reid and Rossi just stared at the technical analyst as though she was utterly insane, but Prentiss and Morgan chuckled at the bouncy blonde's enthusiastic entrance.

"Relax baby girl, they aren't here yet." Garcia dramatically took a seat between her chocolate God and her favorite boy wonder, her hair bouncing and twirling as she abruptly turned to glare at her favorite piece of man meat.

"Well where in the hell are they?" Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid all chuckled, Morgan reaching over to pinch her cheek as she squealed with delight at the attention. Rossi remained silent as his eyes were drawn through the windows of the conference room, his face slowly breaking out into a smile as he followed a pathway from the entrance to the BAU up the staircase to the hallway leading to the conference room.

As the object of his attention got closer and his smile became more pronounced, he spoke to his teammates without shifting his attention. "Looks like they're here."

All four heads whipped to the doorway just as Hotch led JJ to the conference room, his hand holding hers tightly in his. JJ had a subtle but beaming smile on her face and her eyes were dancing as they focused solely on the man before her. Hotch, stoic as ever, remained neutral, but his eyes gave away how incredibly, overwhelmingly happy he was to be holding the tiny media liaison's hand; the love in his eyes was obvious, and all it took was one look at his face upon entering the room for Garcia to lose control. She shifted her gaze frantically from her friend's face to their hands to her boss's face before squealing as loud as she possibly could. "OH MY GOD!"

Prentiss, Rossi, Reid, and Morgan all flinched at just how high Garcia's voice reached, whereas Hotch just rolled his eyes. JJ blushed as her gaze went to the floor, the smiling growing on her face as Hotch held her hand even tighter. Garcia continued to bounce and squeal until Hotch finally caught her eye. "Garcia. Calm."

Garcia stopped squealing but couldn't stop bouncing in her chair, earning a laugh from Morgan and a chuckle from both Prentiss and Rossi. "I'm sorry Boss Man but this…you have no idea how fricking exciting this is! Aren't you guys excited?" Her head whipped around in a circle but she didn't stop to let her teammates respond. "I can't believe it, you guys are so adorable! Jay, this is so amazing, I knew you two would be cute together!"

JJ looked at her best friend, pure shock on her face as she blushed even brighter. "Garcia!"

Garcia just kept bouncing and smiling at her best friend. "Come on, you and Boss Man are just adorable! Aww I'm so utterly excited!"

"Yeah, baby girl, we can tell." Garcia finally turned to Morgan, the two bantering as they always did while JJ silently mapped out the quickest way to exit the room; the attention being focused solely and only on her and Hotch was overwhelming her and her flight response was beginning to kick in.

Hotch knew JJ was looking for a way out so he simply pulled her by the hand closer to him, his lips connecting quickly with her forehead. "You're staying right here with me." The instant she heard his voice and felt his lips on her forehead, every flight instinct vanished and she knew she was happily staying by Hotch's side for as long as he wanted.

Garcia and the rest of the team were beyond shocked at the tiny display of affection their unit chief directed towards JJ, and Garcia immediately launched in once again. "Oh my flipping goodness God, you two are the best thing that's ever happened in this office! I love you two so darn much, I can't get over this!"

JJ, her confidence growing as she stood so close to Hotch, laughed at her best friend while Hotch rolled his eyes once again. "Garcia, calm down."

"Aw Jay, I can't believe you guys are really together. Oh can you believe it?"

Hotch stared at Garcia, trying not to glare at the overly excited technical analyst. "Garcia."

"I really can't." Hotch turned to look at JJ, who simply kept staring at Garcia with a huge smile on her face. She was so supremely happy; she was standing with her family, holding the hand of the man she had been in love with for years and she didn't feel the need to hide her happiness from any of them.

"JJ." She glanced at Hotch with a sheepish look on her face, knowing that they needed to get down to business. "Alright-"

Garcia squealed, clapping her hands. "Aw I bet it was awesome, was it awesome?"

Hotch's glare hardened slightly. "Garcia."

"It was totally awesome."

"JJ."

"Was he really romantic?"

"He really was."

"JJ!"

"Aw I bet it was like the movies!"

"It was perfect!"

Hotch squeezed JJ's hand, his eyes glaring into hers as he gaped at her. "JJ, come on." Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss laughed at the situation, but poor Reid was struggling to keep up. JJ blushed as Garcia bounced and clapped in her seat.

"I'm sorry, she got me all excited!" Hotch rolled his eyes, shaking his head but unable to really be angry at the two blondes he adored so much. He finally turned back to the team, meeting Rossi's eyes as the older profiler stared back at him.

"So what's going on exactly?"

Hotch shot JJ a look before tossing the picture Foyet left on the table for the team to see. "Foyet's officially targeting JJ."

* * *

Hotch looked up, not used to his door being practically thrown open instead of knocked on. After filling in the team on the details of Foyet's target on JJ and getting everyone brought up to speed, they all separated to their normal workloads and the afternoon had been fairly quiet. But as he took in Garcia's face, he was pretty sure it wouldn't stay quiet for long.

"You got a minute Boss Man?"

Hotch nodded, gesturing for her to officially enter his office. She shut the door behind her and took the seat in front of his desk, remaining still and just staring at the supervising agent on the other side of the desk. "Is everything alright Garcia?"

As intense and serious as she looked, Hotch could still easily see the nerves buried underneath. "Sir, I have something I need to say that should technically be left for outside the office but it can't wait and I really need you to just be quiet and let me say my piece before I loose my nerve."

Hotch sat for a moment and took in his subordinate, eventually nodding and remaining quiet as Garcia jumped right in. "Sir, you are by far one of the noblest, kindest, gentlemanly men in the world. I know this situation would never actually occur, but it's still my duty to inform you that should you ever hurt that beautiful blonde media liaison that you've now, I'm sure, pledged your undying love to, I will have no choice but to utterly destroy you and everything you've ever been to the point where not even I, with all my amazingly savvy skills, would not be able to find a single trace of you anywhere in cyber space. And I'll also happily cheer on the men as they beat the physical crap out of you, but that's beside the point."

Hotch silently patted himself on the back for managing to keep up with the rampant speed Garcia used to inform him of his imminent doom should he hurt JJ. He could see the nerves begin to creep up, so he happily shot Garcia a smile. "Thank-you for the warning."

He chuckled to himself as he saw the shock overcome Garcia's face. "You're not mad at me?"

He shook his head, chuckling once again. "Why would I be mad? You care about JJ and you're protecting her."

Garcia stared at Hotch, positively amazed at just how wonderful he truly was. She gave him a big smile, standing up and stepping around the side of his desk to lean down and wrap her arms around her sitting boss. Hotch was surprised for a moment but allowed Garcia her moment. She pulled away after only a moment, and nodded at him before heading to the door. She turned back quickly, a small giggle escaping her lips. "You two really are adorably cute."

She was out of the door before Hotch even had the chance to agree.

* * *

Hotch looked at the sound of a knock on his door and immediately allowed whoever it was to enter the office. Prentiss was holding several files in her hands, but it was strange that she shut the door behind her upon entering the office. "Here are the files Garcia pulled for you. She'd have brought them herself but she ran down to say hi to Kevin really fast, so I told her I'd drop them off." She handed over the files as Hotch nodded, positive that there was more to this conversation than simply dropping off files.

The two agents engaged in a semi-formal staring contest for a moment before Hotch finally spoke up. "Did you want to go ahead and give me the speech now?"

Prentiss laughed, pushing her bangs out of her face as she looked at her boss. "Might as well." She quickly took the seat in front of his desk and Hotch remained silent as she prepped herself. She met his eye once again and Hotch wasn't shocked to see such a serious look in her eyes. "I'll keep it simple: you hurt JJ, I and the rest of this team hurt you. I know you would never actually hurt JJ, but as her family and yours, it's our job to make sure you know. So, although I'm positive it's completely unnecessary, if you hurt JJ, we hurt you."

Hotch nodded, once again not surprised that Prentiss kept her speech short and to the point. "Understood."

The seriousness slowly slipped from her face only to be replaced with a smile. "You guys are really good for each other. I don't know, you just…you two make sense. You're similar where you need to be, but your differences compliment each other. I'm happy for you two Hotch."

Hotch smiled himself as he nodded at his agent. "Thanks. I assure you I'll do my best to be exactly what she needs."

Prentiss laughed, nodding her head and standing up. "Well apparently you're already what she wants, so you're doing pretty well so far." The two shared a small chuckle as Prentiss headed to the door. "Congratulations Hotch."

"Thanks Prentiss." A quick nod and she was in the hallway, the door closing quietly behind her.

* * *

Hotch sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, giving himself a moment before acknowledging yet another knock on his door. He leaned his head back, stretching his neck for a moment before allowing entrance to whichever subordinate was now on the other side of the door. He was genuinely surprised to see a meek and somewhat terrified Reid pop his head into his office. "Hey Hotch, do you have a minute?"

Hotch smiled to himself, realizing his shock at seeing Reid was actually pretty unfounded. JJ and Reid had developed a very loving and protecting brother-sister relationship long ago and it wasn't a surprise that Reid would want to take care of her. "Of course. What can I do for you?"

Reid fidgeted the whole walk to the chair in front of Hotch's desk and didn't stop twitching once he sat down. He struggled to stay still and had an even harder time maintaining eye contact with his unit chief. "I uh–I just wanted to…I know everyone…well, I-"

Hotch raised a hand to cut Reid off before he flubbed himself into even deeper incoherent nonsense. "Reid, does your visit have anything to do with my relationship with JJ?"

Reid, although still fidgety and nervous, looked extremely grateful for the guidance. "Uh…yes."

Hotch knew Reid didn't have a lot of experience in threatening his friends–and absolutely none in threatening his alpha male unit chief–so he shot the young genius a small smile and relaxed slightly in his chair. "Reid, just tell me what you want to say and I'll listen. This isn't anything involving work so I'm not your boss right now, I'm your friend. Just talk."

Reid nodded, looking away and gathering his nerves as Hotch just sat back and gave him time. Just as Hotch was about to speak again, Reid made and finally managed to maintain eye contact, his voice tinted with nerves but strong. "I don't think you'd ever hurt JJ, Hotch. I can see how much you care about her, and even as socially inept as I can be, I know you'll dedicate your entire life to her and her happiness and her safety. But she's really important to me, she…she makes me feel normal. More than anybody else does, even the rest of the team. And I know it's not much, and I can't imagine it ever happening, but if you ever hurt her, I'll do my own part to make sure you regret it."

Any strength Reid had while giving his speech was gone as soon as he closed his mouth. Hotch could see the nerves return but he was too impressed by Reid's words to immediately reassure him. Just as Reid prepped to flee the tiny office, Hotch gave him a smile and extended his hand. Reid, too shocked to truly know what was going on, somehow still managed to shake his friend's hand. "Thanks for letting me know. I assure you, I'll do everything in my power to make sure you never have to worry about that."

Reid was still floored that Hotch didn't remind him that he could easily beat the hell out of the younger, much smaller agent without even breaking a sweat, but he managed to nod and head to the door. He stopped and turned back at the sound of his name. "Reid. JJ's lucky to have you watching out for her."

Reid blushed but chuckled, shooting a nod to his boss. "She's luckier to have you. I'm really happy for both of you." The two shared a final nod before Reid left the office, Hotch returning to his paperwork, awaiting the next knock at his door.

* * *

Hotch ignored the knock at the door, giving himself a moment to complete his train of thought on the paperwork at hand. He could already guess what the visit at hand would entail, and having heard three similar speeches in the past few hours, he wasn't in any hurry to rush into the next one. He knew it was important for his team members to get to say their piece; they all cared about JJ in such an enduring and special way, and they only wanted to make sure she was taken care of and protected. No one on the team cared more about her than Hotch, and even though each speech was uniquely the same, he would never take away his team's desire to keep JJ safe.

Calling out to allow entrance into his office, he silently tried to guess whether it would be Dave or Morgan standing on the other side ready to threaten his life should he hurt JJ. "Hey man, got a second?" Hotch instantly gestured for Morgan to come on in and watched as the younger profiler calmly closed the door behind him, striding over and taking the seat across the large desk. He instantly made and held eye contact with Hotch. "I'm just going to go ahead and say my piece, ok?"

Hotch nodded, hopeful that Morgan would follow in Prentiss's footsteps and go straight to the point. "Look, I know you wouldn't ever do anything to hurt JJ. You're one of the best guys I know and you'd never do anything to hurt someone you care about, I get that. But if you ever, for whatever reason, hurt her, this team will make you regret it. I don't care what it is, if it hurts her, this team will hurt you. And I'll be fighting like hell to be first in line. Ok?"

Hotch maintained eye contact with the younger agent and gave him a simple nod. "Understood."

Morgan instantly noticed the nonchalant tone of voice and posture and chuckled, breaking any intimidation he tried to have over his unit chief. "What number am I?"

Hotch smiled at his friend, glad the tension was gone. "Four." Morgan full on laughed, realizing his entire team was slightly crazy. He respected his boss for being completely accepting of their insanities.

"Sorry man. It's nothing against you, we all think you're exactly what JJ needs. We're just all really protective of her and it's kind of our job to intimidate any boyfriend she has."

Hotch nodded, his eyes slightly unfocused as his mind went elsewhere. "Especially after Will."

Hotch's unfocused look suddenly make complete sense to the profiler across from him. "Did you…you know, were you-"

"Attracted to JJ when she was with Will? Yes."

Morgan was amazed looking back that the entire team hadn't noticed Hotch's feelings for JJ after finding out Will cheated on her. The entire team was furious with the Southern jackass, but Hotch was livid to an extreme. The rest of the team had been slightly worried that he might go after Will late one night and teach the cheating man a lesson, but thankfully JJ had rebounded and relied on the entire team to help her have fun and get back to her lively self, effectively keeping Hotch busy from destroying Will.

"Wow. Man, I can't believe we all missed it. You were pissed more so than any of the rest of us, even Prentiss and Garcia. We all thought that was strange, but we just figured you were being protective of JJ. We were worried you'd go after Will."

Hotch snorted. "Will and I had a talk after I found out." Morgan's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "Don't ask, that's all I'm willing to say." Morgan nodded, secretly dying to know exactly how that "talk" went down but unwilling to push his boss.

Morgan regained himself and smiled, moving to stand up and extending his hand. "Well she's better off now."

Hotch returned the smile and shook Morgan's hand, glad that even though the entire team was effectively threatening his life thanks to his relationship with JJ, none of them ever imagined they'd have to worry about it. "Thanks Morgan."

"Congratulations Hotch. You guys really deserve each other." The two shared another nod before Morgan headed over to the door, stopping as Hotch called out to him before he could enter the hallway outside his door.

"Any idea when Dave's coming in?"

* * *

The knock at the door was surprisingly unexpected, mainly because the door currently being knocked on was rarely closed. The day had been so crazy and busy thus far that the only way to achieve some peace and quiet was to shut the door completely and pray people took it as a sign to stay away unless urgent. Nonetheless, a knock resounding throughout the office and a simple 'come in' was quick to follow.

Dave heard the owner of the office allow him entrance, but he still braced himself for a moment before entering. He held the doorknob in his hand for just a moment, taking a deep breath in through his nose before twisting the tiny piece of metal and pushing the door open. "Hey honey, do you have a second to talk before you leave?"

JJ looked up from her bag, shocked to see Dave Rossi standing at her door. She had secretly hoped it was Aaron on the other side of the door, considering she hadn't seen her boyfriend–her heart jumped as she used the description in her head, a small smile fighting its way to her mouth–since lunch, but she was definitely not expecting the eldest profiler to be knocking at her door. "Of course, come on in Dave."

Dave nodded, walking in and taking a seat in the chair before JJ's desk. He took the young liaison in, inadvertently making her wait before getting to the point of his visit. He had never done something like this before, but he had been so distracted with the thought in his head back in his office that he hadn't gotten a single thing accomplished all day. JJ simply kept watching Dave, waiting for him to speak but he continued to just sit and stare at her. "Everything ok Dave?"

Dave nodded, adjusting himself as he sat forward in his seat, his elbows resting on his knees as he continued to stare straight at JJ. "I have one thing I need to say, and I won't be able to focus on anything else until I do, so I'm asking you to just sit and listen for a moment while I get this out in the open. Is that ok?"

JJ, still completely surprised and confused, just nodded her head, silently waiting for Dave to continue. "Aaron and I have been good friends for years. I was the first one to really believe in his abilities as a profiler, even when everyone else thought he was way out of his element. He never took any of my shit, even when I'd been out of the game for so long, and he was the only one to never question why I needed to come back to the BAU. That man is one of my closest friends and one of the few people in this world I would happily take a bullet for."

JJ wasn't sure where this was going, but she fought against her desire to speak out. She remained silent as Dave paused, giving himself a minute before he was ready to continue. "Even though Aaron and Haley were just separated when I came back, I could tell there was something different about the way he looked at you. You were the special one on his team, the one who was different than anyone else. I kept my eye on you and him, never quite sure where you're relationship was going to go. Hell for a while there the rest of the team and I had a pool going about when you two were going to finally get together."

JJ opened her mouth to speak but remembered her promise to keep quiet and shut it before making a sound. Dave chuckled, obviously a bit more relaxed at JJ's action. "It was right after Will left." JJ smiled, giving Dave a small nod even though the seriousness was seeping back into his eyes.

"JJ, I know you saw how much Haley hurt Aaron. I just…" He sighed and rubbed his face with one hand. "He's let you into a corner of his life that no one else will ever get to be in, not even Jack. And that's a big deal. I can't even imagine it, but I need to know that you're sure about this. A relationship with Aaron and who he is."

JJ was shocked that this was turning out to be Dave's version of the "best-friend-intimidation talk" but she respected Dave's intentions. After staring at each other for another moment, JJ understood that she could say something. "Dave, I know who Aaron is."

"So did Haley."

"I don't want to speak ill of Haley by any means, but there had to be something missing in her understanding of Aaron with the way it ended. I know Aaron will always be married to this job, but so am I. Haley saw the nights he stayed at the office and the anniversaries he missed being in another state, but I've stood by his side every day in this job for years, and I will _always_ continue to stay by his side. I love how dedicated he is to this job, to keeping people safe and making the world a better place. I would never, _ever_ ask him to give that up."

"Haley never had any intention to hurt Aaron."

"I completely agree, but I am _not_ Haley, Dave." Dave dropped his head and smiled; those were the exact words he had been hoping to hear when he walked into JJ's office, but the fire and passion in her eyes was what sealed the deal. JJ would die before she ever hurt Aaron, and Dave couldn't adore the blonde in front of him any more if he tried.

He looked up, realizing JJ was still talking about how she knew who Aaron was and why she would always love him for that, but Dave was already wholly satisfied. He stood up and moved to the opposite side of the desk, leaning down to wrap his arms around JJ's tiny body. She tensed up, effectively stopping her rant as the action took her completely by surprise. She relaxed and hugged Dave back, not quite sure what she said to make the older profiler hug her as he was, but she was glad he was, in essence, giving her his approval.

Dave pulled away, staying down for a moment to kiss JJ on the head. He looked deep into her eyes, still bent over so he could look right into her eyes. "Just make sure you save me one dance at your wedding." He gave her a wink as her jaw dropped to the floor before he bid her goodnight and headed out the door.

* * *

The knock on the door was unexpected to say the least. She was preparing her belongings so she could leave the office right at 5:00 sharp, as was her usual everyday routine. She glanced at the clock, huffing as she noticed it was fifteen till. The visit at had to take less than ten minutes so she could still leave on time.

"Enter." She had her back to the door and couldn't stop the annoyed look on her face as she turned around and saw him enter her office. "Agent Hotchner. I don't recall asking to meet with you today."

Erin Strauss never understood where her intense dislike of Aaron Hotchner had stemmed from and she didn't really care to find out. There were many agents at the Bureau she disliked–David Rossi being rather high on the list–but no one got under her skin like Hotchner. So stoic, so guarded, so professional, so authoritative at all times, even with those above him. She wasn't a stupid woman; Aaron Hotchner was the number one agent standing between her and future advancement within the FBI. Although she'd never admit it to another soul, she would do almost anything to destroy Hotchner's career if it got him out of her way.

He stood in her office just as calm and confident as he always did and it secretly drove Strauss crazy. He maintained eye contact in a way that no one else cold, as though he always held the power to stare her down and reduce her to a crumbling mess but he simply chose not to. "No you didn't. I was hoping to discuss something with you before you left for the day."

Damn profiler. Of course he knew she left everyday at 5:00. She sighed and gestured for him to take a seat as she resumed her perch behind her desk. As she always did when speaking to Hotchner, she had to mentally force herself to not break eye contact.

Hotch, for his part, had absolutely no problem holding eye contact with the horrid woman seated across from him. "I wanted to disclose my personal relationship with Jennifer Jareau to you."

Strauss struggled to take in the bombshell he has just dropped on her. "Excuse me?"

Remaining as calm and professional as ever, he continued as though there was nothing wrong with what he was disclosing. "Agent Jareau and I are currently in an intimate, personal relationship."

She had to make sure she heard him just right. "You and Agent Jareau are dating?"

"Yes."

Erin Strauss was never one to be unprofessional but she was struggling not to leap out of her chair and jump for joy. She finally had Hotchner right where she had always wanted him with this bit of wonderfully delightful news. "You know the Bureau does not allow-"

"Relationships between superior agents and their direct subordinate agents. However, Agent Morgan is currently acting unit chief of the BAU, so Agent Jareau and I entered into our relationship with no superiority between our titles."

"Are you here to make Agent Morgan's substitution permanent?"

"No." Strauss couldn't stop the small smile from creeping onto her face. Hotchner couldn't be in a relationship if he went back to leading the Behavioral Analysis Unit. "Should I resume unit chief of the BAU, I would be prohibited from engaging in a personal relationship with any of my direct subordinates. That is, any of the _profilers_ on my team."

Strauss's face fell but Hotch somehow managed to keep his smile in check. She finally realized exactly why he had chosen to disclose the information instead of hiding it from her. The Behavioral Analysis Unit consisted of a team of profilers. Agents Jareau and Garcia, while technically part of the BAU team and under the leadership of its unit chief, weren't viewed as direct subordinates of the team…therefore the rules frowned upon but did not prohibit a personal relationship between Agent Hotchner and Agent Jareau. There was nothing she could do.

Strauss wasn't ready to give up yet. "You'll never move up the chain of command in the Bureau as long as you're in a relationship with her." She had used the threat of advancement before but she hoped he didn't realize it was her last desperate attack.

Hotch nodded, no indication of worry or disappointment in his eyes. "I'll worry about that when that point comes." He was fighting not to break out into a huge smile at the obvious fury on Strauss's face.

Knowing there was nothing she could do, she turned sideways, breaking eye contract and in her mind dismissing him from her presence. "I'll be keeping an eye on your relationship with Agent Jareau."

She watched miserably as Hotchner stood, straightening his suit jacket before crossing the room, throwing a casual "understood" over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

Erin Strauss knew Aaron Hotchner had effectively ruined the rest of her week with his little visit.

* * *

_I'm sure the FBI's fraternization rules don't work the way I've depicted, but it's my story, so for the purposes of Hotch's conversation with Strauss, that's the way the FBI rules are designed. Hope you guys enjoyed the team/chapter, and, as always, I would love if you dropped me a review if you have the time!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

JJ took a deep breath, smoothing her simple black dress and checking her hair once more in the mirror before she answered the knock at the front door. The small smile that had been on her face for the past two hours as she had gotten ready for the night ahead increased tenfold as she took in Aaron, standing in front of her straight and tall in a dark blue button down shirt with the top few buttons undone and simple black slacks. He had a beautiful a bouquet of red roses in one hand and she chuckled at his expression, a small blush overtaking her cheeks. "Hi."

Aaron had mentally prepared himself for this moment since he had left the office, but he still couldn't stop himself from gawking at JJ like a teenager going on his first date with the head cheerleader from high school. She looked too beautiful to be allowed in public; stunning and classic black dress that fit her perfectly in every way, nude pumps and simple diamond earrings, enough make-up to accentuate her features but not enough to take away from her natural beauty, and a simple up-do with a few curls framing her face. She looked too good for words, but Aaron couldn't help himself from attempting to classify how simply stunning she looked. "You're beautiful."

JJ chuckled, the blush on her cheeks growing even darker. She had put more than double her normal effort into getting ready for her date tonight. She had wanted to look perfect for Aaron, even if he would have thought she looked stunning in sweatpants with no make-up and her hair in a messy ponytail. Aaron smiled broadly, stepping forward slightly while handing over the flowers in his hand. "Aaron, these are beautiful."

Aaron was still recovering from JJ's appearance. "You're beautiful."

JJ chuckled, dipping her head in the roses to try to cover her blush. Aaron chuckled, absolutely enamored with the adorable blonde in front of him. He lifted her chin so she met his eye. "You really are beautiful."

JJ smiled again, the blush still on her cheeks but the embarrassment far gone. It was impossible for her to feel anything but completely loved when Aaron looked at her like that. "You look pretty handsome yourself. I'm glad you're not in a suit."

Aaron managed to keep his own blush in check but JJ still saw the embarrassment flash across his face. "Well I wear one every day to work…"

JJ laughed, reaching up to grab his hand as she lead him into her apartment, heading to the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. "Trust me, this was a _good _choice." The two shared a chuckle as JJ got some water for her beautiful flowers.

"As fun as it was getting ready for a date again, I still don't understand why you're so insistent that we have an "official" first date." Aaron leaned against the wall, mesmerized by the woman before him.

"Because I want to take you out. You deserve a real first date."

JJ turned around, her hands on her hips but a smile on her face. "I'm not a high maintenance type of girl Aaron. You know I love you, you've pretty much got a sure thing right here."

Aaron moved forward, planting a kiss on JJ's cheek as he finished putting the roses in the vase. "Well I happen to love you and high maintenance or not, you deserve and will get a real first date."

JJ smiled at Aaron, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. "You're too good for me."

Aaron smiled, squeezing her hand in return as he lead her back to the front door. "Well then hopefully I can get some tonight after our date." JJ gasped, an appalled but highly amused look on her face as she swatted Aaron's arm. Aaron just laughed and led JJ out the door.

* * *

JJ had just registered she was slightly chilly when Aaron draped his jacket over her shoulders. She stared up at the man walking beside her, once again amazed at how in tune he was to her every need. He shot her a quick smile before he continued to walk forward, still adjusting to the feeling of sand between his toes. He had decided to do something more than just dinner and a movie, so he had set up a picnic on the beach with three large blankets so they could lie out and look at the stars. After enjoying dinner and relaxing for a while, JJ had decided that since the weather was perfect they needed to take a walk along the beach. Aaron had quickly agreed without hesitation before JJ demanded they go barefoot. He couldn't remember the last time he had walked along the beach without shoes on.

JJ slid her arms into the jacket, her eyes shifting between Aaron beside her and the sand at her feet. "Am I the only one who gets to see this side of you?"

Aaron was confused by JJ's question and turned to look at her as they continued their walk. "What do you mean?"

JJ continued to smile and wrapped the jacket tighter around her, every so often getting a whiff of Aaron's smell as she held it closer to her body. "The off-work Aaron."

Aaron stared down at his feet. "Is there a big difference?"

JJ just chuckled, her eyes twinkling as they continued their walk.

Aaron nodded, continuing to stare ahead instead of at JJ. He didn't want to make any deal out of the conversation at hand, but he was slowly having flashbacks to his marriage and the disaster that had ensued. Haley had always said there were two different sides to Aaron: one for work and one not for work. The failure of their marriage hinged heavily on Haley's dislike of Aaron's work side and Aaron's inability to be 100% off-work Aaron that Haley had always wanted him to be. He had no idea what he would do when JJ discovered that Aaron didn't know how to be only one side. After so many years of being both, he honestly didn't think he could be only one and now it was possible that it could destroy his relationship with JJ just as it had destroyed his relationship with Haley.

JJ smiled, totally unaware of Aaron's internal anxieties. "I've worked with you for years and you've never set up romantic picnics on the beach at night on a case before." Aaron smiled but it didn't reach his eyes as he continued to stare at the ground. "Seriously though…I love when you're willing to be vulnerable with me."

Aaron finally turned his head to look at her. He had been terrified as he set up tonight, putting all his effort into making it perfect. He had tried to keep his worry from JJ, and until her admission he had thought he succeeded. JJ laughed at the expression on his face. "I know how much tonight's made you anxious, Aaron."

"You do?"

JJ nodded, entwining her fingers with Aaron's as they continued their walk. "I could tell how nervous you were when you asked me to go out with you tonight, even though we're already in a committed relationship." She leaned closer into his side as she giggled to herself, a small blush appearing on her face. "I don't know, I just love being the one person that gets to see you like this."

Aaron came to a dead stop and pulled JJ close, looking right into her eyes as she looked back into his. "It doesn't bother you?"

JJ was thoroughly confused but tried to follow his train of thought. "What, that you're one way at work and another way at home?" Aaron nodded, his heart beating a little quicker as he waited for her answer. JJ laughed and squeezed Aaron's hand, continuing to walk and forcing him to step beside her. "No it doesn't bother me. I don't expect you to be romantic on a crime scene Aaron, that'd be a tad bit inappropriate."

Aaron was still unsettled at how aloof JJ was about the conversation at hand. "But you don't mind that there are two different sides to me?"

It was JJ's time to stop as she stared at Aaron with a confused look on her face. She stared at him for a moment longer before she began to laugh, reaching up to kiss Aaron's cheek. "Oh sweetheart, you're not _that _complex!"

JJ moved to keep walking but Aaron stayed rooted where he was, forcing JJ to turn back around and look at him. She suddenly understood that there was a hidden layer to this conversation. "Aaron, talk to me."

Aaron held her hand as her thumb rubbed circles against his skin. "Haley always said I was two different people."

JJ nodded even though Aaron wasn't looking at her. "Well, Haley is entitled to her opinion, I suppose."

Aaron looked up, surprised to see the small smile on JJ's face. "But you don't agree?"

JJ shook her head, the curls framing her face moving with head. "Nope. Yes, there are parts of you that you don't and can't bring to work. Your romance, your goofy and slightly inappropriate sense of humor, your ability to quote all of The Big Lebowski…" The two shared a small laugh. "That doesn't mean you're two different people, Aaron. You just show yourself differently depending on the situation."

Aaron stared at JJ, unable to take his eyes off of her; never in all his life had he been so amazed with one single person before. "How do you know exactly who I am?"

JJ laughed, once again keeping the conversation lighter than Aaron ever imagined it could be. "Because I love you and the man that you are. Have for quite some time actually." She shot him a wink as she tugged on his hand, forcing him to walk beside her. Before she could take a step away Aaron tugged back on her arm, pulling her to him as his free hand reached up to her face, guiding his lips down on to hers as her body molded against his. JJ loved how perfectly Aaron's body covered hers every time they kissed just as Aaron loved how perfectly JJ's formed against his. JJ sighed as Aaron pulled away, the two resting against each other as Aaron stroked JJ's cheek.

"I love you so much JJ."

JJ smiled and placed a quick kiss on Aaron's lips. "And I love you."

The two finally managed to resume their walk, enjoying the silence that happily existed between them as they held hands along the beach. They silently moved together as they turned around, slowly making their way back to the blanket. JJ fiddled with the button on Aaron's coat for several feet before finally speaking up. "If I had a random thought in my head would you think I was ridiculous?"

Aaron burst out laughing, giving JJ a kiss on the cheek as he collected himself. "Not at all. What are you thinking, love?"

JJ smiled at the term of endearment Aaron randomly gave her every now and again. "Do you…I mean honestly, don't answer just because you think I'm expecting you to or because it'll make me feel better, this is really important-"

"JJ, rambling."

JJ blushed, glad once again that Aaron thought she was adorable when she rambled instead of finding her to be a bumbling idiot. "Do you think Jack's goingtobeokwithus?

Aaron chuckled secretly to himself, mentally patting himself on the back for being able to understand JJ's lightening speed. "Jack loves you JJ."

"Yeah, when I'm just a co-worker of yours. What if he doesn't like that we're together?"

Aaron knew this was really important to JJ, but just as she had previously done, he couldn't quite take the conversation seriously. "JJ, Jack loves you, regardless of what you are to me. He'll be even more thrilled now that you'll be with us all the time. He'll love having you around."

JJ began to get frantic as she always did when something was weighing heavily on her mind. "But what if he thinks I'm just trying to take his mom's place or he doesn't want you to be with anyone or he doesn't like me enough that he wants me to be around all the time-"

"JJ if you question how much my son loves you one more time I'm going to shake you." JJ stopped dead and stared at Aaron who had a twinkle in his eye. "I've thought about Jack dozens of times since I told you how I feel about you, and I'm _positive_ that Jack will be thrilled. You would never try to take Haley's place and Jack will understand that. He thinks the world of you and he'll love the fact that he can be with you as much as he can. I hate to admit it, but there's a chance my son may be as in love with you as I am."

JJ chuckled nervously, her weight shifting as she stared at the ground. Aaron chuckled and kissed her on the forehead, his action causing JJ to look up at him once again. "Jack will understand, JJ. And he'll be thrilled."

JJ nodded, playing with Aaron's fingers as she looked into his eyes. "I just don't want him to hate me. I love your son Aaron."

Aaron's heart swelled at JJ's words and he kissed her without even realizing he had moved forward. "Do you know how much that means to me?"

JJ scoffed, her free arm shooting up into the air. "This isn't about you!"

Aaron laughed and kissed JJ's cheek. "You're too perfect for words JJ." JJ blushed, the smile on her face finally reaching her eyes. "When we bring Jack home, the three of us will sit down and we will make sure that Jack's ok with everything."

JJ nodded, her head dropped but her eyes finding Aaron's under her eyelashes. "If he doesn't approve I'm breaking up with you."

Aaron chuckled, squeezing her hand as he resumed their walk back to the blanket. "Well we'll talk about that when we get to it."

JJ walked right beside him. "I will, even if you don't believe me."

Aaron laughed again and spun her around once in the sand, causing JJ to shriek with laughter. "Whatever you say my love."


	21. Chapter 21

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I can not apologize enough for how long it's taken me to update! I've honestly had no time lately, and I'm really sorry for taking so long! You guys are truly amazing for staying with me and this story, and I genuinely appreciate the support and encouragement you've given to both. Thanks so much for staying with the story, I hope you enjoy the drama...I mean chapters...to come. As always, if you feel so inclined, please drop a review! Thanks again!

* * *

Aaron was losing his mind. He frantically flipped through the pages of the tiny notebook in his hand, desperate to find whatever it was that Arnold was hiding. He could hear Arnold's cocky laugh and JJ's concerned voice in the background, but he couldn't focus on anything but the tiny book in his hands.

"Hotch." JJ tried to keep her voice level and even, refusing to give Arnold any more pleasure from the situation at hand, but Aaron was scaring her. He didn't even seem to hear her as he continued to focus solely on the notebook and no where else. "Hotch."

JJ's eyes flickered to Arnold where he was leaning back in his chair, completely relaxed with a happy look on his face. JJ wanted nothing more than to beat that stupid grin right off his smug face, but she was too concerned about Aaron to give the sadistic creep the beating he so richly deserved. Aaron was seconds away from tearing the small notebook apart and JJ could see how badly Arnold was getting to him.

Arnold, for his part, just sat back and happily watched the scene unfold. He glanced briefly at the pretty blonde in the room, suddenly terribly pleased she had accompanied Agent Hotchner on his little visit. She was just as upset about the situation as Hotchner was, though she was doing a much better job at concealing her anxiety. "I can't believe you can't see what he's doing."

"What is going on?" JJ was growing more and more concerned with each page flip. Aaron must have gone through the entire thing twice already, but he wasn't stopping. "Aaron!"

"He's torturing him!"

"Who?"

"It's great to see you squirm Agent Hotchner!"

Aaron's hands finally stopped as he found what he was looking for; he froze as he stared down at the newspaper clipping, JJ's face smiling up at him from the paper. He was too stunned to look at the real JJ, who still stood directly beside him. He could hear the tiny gasp that escaped her as she saw the newspaper clipping of herself, but he hoped Arnold was too far away to hear. If he hadn't heard her gasp, he definitely heard her as the realization finally sunk in for both of them.

"Foyet." JJ's voice was barely above a whisper and she could feel every fiber of every inch of her entire body begin to shake. Aaron dropped everything onto the table, grabbed JJ's hand and pulled her out of the room and as far away from Arnold as possible.

"He knew you'd come!" He knew Arnold was still laughing after the doors slammed shut behind him, but he just held JJ's hand and pulled her down the hallway, his eyes staring straight ahead the whole time. JJ kept pace with Aaron as much as she possibly could, her eyes glued on him. As terrified as she was that Foyet had sent her picture to Arnold, she was more terrified for Aaron. She knew how much this was tearing him apart.

JJ didn't let go of his hand until they made it outside of the building where Aaron eventually released her to lean heavily against their SUV. JJ watched from a distance for a moment, taking in the tension in Aaron's shoulders and how his entire body was moving with each breath he took. She finally moved closer and leaned against the door right next to him. Her eyes softened as she looked at his face, his eyes clenched tightly shut. She reached up and rested her hand on his arm, and he relaxed minimally. "Aaron."

Aaron kept his eyes shut and continued to breathe heavily, but his face angled slightly in JJ's direction. He sighed and pushed back against the SUV, standing right next to JJ and taking a deep breath before looking at her. "Will you finally consider protective custody now?"

JJ was genuinely taken back by Aaron's suggestion. They had talked about JJ entering into a witness protection detail a few times but JJ had always managed to nip that topic in the butt before they truly discussed it. She could tell by the look in Aaron's eyes that it wouldn't be so easy to blow off this time. "No. I've told you, I'm not going into protective custody. End of discussion." JJ squeezed Aaron's shoulder before swiftly moving to the other side of the vehicle, jumping in the passenger seat before Aaron could make a rebuttal.

* * *

"Aaron, it's not going to happen. Period!" JJ threw open the door of her hotel room, Aaron hot on her heels as she threw her bag and coat down on one of the beds. Aaron stopped towards the front of the room as JJ made her way further in, moving around and keeping herself busy in order to avoid the conversation at hand.

"You honestly think we're not going to talk about this? JJ, Foyet isn't just going away, he's not going to stop. You have to consider what's best for you."

JJ continued moving all around the room, her body unable to remain still. "Well, I don't think what's best for me is running away! It's not going to happen."

Aaron sighed, both of their frustration levels growing as the conversation progressed. "It's not running away, it's keeping you safe."

JJ laughed, but Aaron could hear both the sarcasm and the underlying worry behind it. He hated the idea of sending JJ away, _hated_ the idea that she would be away from him with everything inside of him, but he would do whatever it took to keep her safe. "I'm not doing it regardless of what you call it. End of discussion."

"Bullshit end of discussion." JJ's attention snapped to Aaron, a glare on both of their faces as they tried to stare each other down. "JJ, you can't keep acting like this isn't a big deal."

"I understand this is a big deal Aaron." JJ felt petty for saying his name with such an annoyed tone of voice, and she could see the frustration flash across his face, but she was getting desperate to stop the current conversation. "But I'm ten times safer here with you and the team than I am with some random protection detail. I'm not leaving my home."

"You can stay in Virginia if it's that important to you. The team and I can only keep you so safe when Foyet knows exactly where you are. He knows where you work, where you live, where I live, he could find you any time he wanted to. There's only so much I can do to prevent that from happening when you're such an easy target."

JJ scoffed and stopped moving around, her hands on her hips as she tried once again to stare Aaron down. "Easy target? Aaron, I'm a federal agent-"

"And I'm unit chief of the BAU, that didn't stop him from getting to me." JJ was taken back, her argument dying on her lips as she realized the truth of Aaron's words. She took a moment to regroup before throwing her hands up, resuming her frantic movements.

"I'm not going anywhere, it's ridiculous-"

"Goddamn it JJ, I am NOT going to lose you!" JJ stopped dead, her whole body freezing as she stared at Aaron. She could count on one hand the amount of times she had ever heard Aaron raise his voice, and she felt her resolve begin to break down at the desperation in Aaron's voice. "I told you when we first got together that I can't lose you. It would kill me JJ. I can't risk your safety, and if you're not willing to put yourself first above all else, you can be damn certain that I will."

JJ felt tears begin to form in her eyes but she tried to blink them away. "I'm not leaving."

As JJ's resolve broke down, Aaron's grew stronger. "JJ, you need to put your own safety first. We both know what Foyet is capable of, what he's willing to do. I'm not willing to risk your life and your safety. You have to be safe."

JJ shook her head, the first few tears falling down her face. Aaron could feel tears in his own eyes as he watched the woman he loved so much struggle, but he had to do this to keep her safe. "JJ, I can't lose you, I don't know how to survive that. You're too important to me. I won't let you stay here if it's not absolutely safe for you. You know protective custody is best for you."

JJ kept shaking her head, her breathing growing heavier. "I'm not leaving!"

Aaron felt his frustration level continue to rise. "JJ, you know it's what's best for you!"

"I'm not leaving!"

"JJ, why can't you just-" JJ rushed forward and jumped into Aaron's arms, her mouth crashing against his in order to shut him up. She meant for the kiss to be passionate and loving, a persuasion for him to let her stay. Instead, the kiss was desperate, frantic, and terrified; JJ felt tears fall even with her eyes closed as she realized she was going to have to walk away from the one man she loved more than anything else.

Aaron picked JJ up and held her against him, kissing her just as desperately, terrified to lose contact with her. JJ pulled away and held him close, tears falling freely from her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder. Aaron held JJ as tightly as he could, kissing every inch of her he could reach, tears falling from his eyes as well. "I don't want to leave you Aaron."

Aaron kissed her again and sat the two of them down on the bed, JJ sitting directly in his lap. "JJ, I _will_ get you back sweetheart, I swear to God. This isn't permanent, but you have to be safe."

JJ couldn't stop crying. The idea of leaving Aaron was suffocating her. "I'm scared Aaron."

Aaron hugged JJ closer, more tears falling from his eyes. "I am too baby, it's ok." He reached forward and wiped her cheeks with his thumb, trying to stop his own tears from falling. His actions just made JJ cry harder. "JJ, I will stop Foyet. I promise, I will get him."

"I know you will, I just don't understand why I can't stay with you!"

The sight of JJ crying in his arms was almost enough to get Aaron to cave. He would do anything to give JJ everything she ever wanted, to keep her with him every second of the day, but he knew he had to focus on her safety, not his own wants and needs. He reached up and wiped her fresh tears off her face before pulling her to him, resting his chin on top of her head. "I love you so much."

JJ sniffled, relaxing into Aaron's chest as his arms held her tightly against him. "I love you too Aaron."

* * *

"JJ, do you wish I had made the deal?"

It had been four hours since Aaron and JJ had made the decision that JJ would enter protective custody upon returning to Quantico, and the couple was still holed up in JJ's hotel room. Aaron was laying on his left side, his arm wrapped around JJ's waist as she laid on her right side. They had been lying there for the past few hours, talking and spending time together. They knew it wouldn't be long until they weren't allowed to communicate at all, and they were going to make every second count.

JJ didn't quite know what to make of Aaron's current inquiry. She stayed silent as she studied him, trying to figure out what exactly he was getting at. Aaron sighed and broke eye contact for a moment before looking back at JJ. "Do you wish I had agreed to stop hunting him when he offered me the chance?"

JJ tried to stop herself but she couldn't; she giggled at his question, which puzzled Aaron. "Oh Aaron…no."

Aaron released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding, making JJ giggle more. She leaned forward and kissed his nose, earning a smile from Aaron. "It's adorable how much you worry. Did you honestly think I would say yes?"

JJ made it sound ridiculous, but Aaron honestly had considered the possibility that she'd say yes. The only reason she was in this position was because Aaron had stood against Foyet and refused to play his game. JJ would never have been in the current situation she was if Aaron had taken the deal that night in Boston. JJ smiled at Aaron, reaching out to rest her palm against his cheek. "Aaron, I love you. I love you because of who you are. You're not the type of man who could make a deal like that, I know that. I would never want you to because it goes against everything you stand for. You don't have it in you to make that deal. You couldn't have agreed to it if you tried."

She paused, momentarily lost in the man before her; she would never understand what she had done to deserve a man like Aaron Hotchner. "Yes, this situation is hell. But…Aaron, if you had made that deal, you wouldn't be the man that you are. And that's not something that I could live with." JJ leaned forward, pressing her lips against Aaron's. "I wouldn't love if you had made that deal, Aaron."

Aaron sat up, staring down at JJ, the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice leaving no room for argument. "JJ, I promise I will not stop until I bring you home as fast as I can. No matter what it takes. I will _live_ in the office if I have to, I'll do whatever…"

JJ sat up, meeting his eyes straight on, staring at him with matching intensity in her eyes. "No."

Aaron paused, waiting for her to continue but she just kept staring at him. "No?"

JJ shook her head, her eyes and tone completely serious. "I'm not going anywhere if you're going to work yourself to death as soon as I go. I want someone to come back to Aaron!" He had opened his mouth to argue but stopped at her words. "I want to come back to you, and I can't do that if you kill yourself over this."

Aaron moved to respond again, but JJ shook her head, a smile on her face as she pushed him back down on the bed, lying on her side to face him once again. She reached up and rested a hand on his face. "Bring me home. Fast!" The both chuckled lightly, Aaron's a bit shorter than hers. "But do not kill yourself in the process. No missing other, more important cases that need you. No terrorizing the team because they aren't focusing on Foyet 24/7. No skipping meals or working nonstop without sleep. And absolutely no sleeping in your office, as you've been prone to do in the past."

Aaron sighed, wanting to argue but knowing he didn't have that option. He closed his eyes, as JJ kissed his cheek and leaned her forehead against his. "Promise?"

Aaron chuckled, leaning forward to actually kiss JJ properly on the lips. "You love making me promise you things."

JJ laughed slightly. "Yeah, well, I've never seen you break one." The two shared another smile and a kiss. "Promise me, Aaron."

Aaron nodded as JJ knew he would. "I promise JJ." He sighed, reaching up to cover the hand JJ still had resting on his cheek, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I don't know how to be away from you. I don't know how to survive this."

JJ gave him a small smile, but she knew they were both in for a long road. Aaron had already been forced to send Jack away, a hardship Aaron was still suffering from, but now he was losing one more person. "You remember that I love you more than anything. You keep working _with_ the team; don't alienate them just because I'm missing, they care about you almost as much as I do. You work the profile, locate the bastard and take him down so I can come home to you."

Aaron rolled onto his back, pulling JJ with him so her body lined up with his, her head resting on his chest. He kissed her forehead, ignoring the small amount of moisture invading his eyes. "I love you."

JJ curled tighter into Aaron's chest as the first tear made its way down her cheek. "I love you too."


	22. Chapter 22

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I love all of you. You're all amazing people. Gah, you guys are too good to be true! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"JJ." She shut her eyes, pausing to collect herself before turning around, her back only inches away from Aaron's chest. She opened her eyes as she turned, first taking in the man in a dark suit with a gun on his hip standing next to Morgan–well over six-foot, built like a linebacker, overall very intimidating man–before she finally looked at her teammate as he stopped in front of her. "This is Rick Erikson. Marshall Erikson, this is Agent Jennifer Jareau"

JJ smiled at the US Marshall standing before her, most of her attention still focused on the man directly behind her rather than that man in front of her. Erikson gave her a big grin, his whole face lighting up and losing any intimidation it once had. JJ smiled a little brighter; he may appear to be a scary man, but she didn't need to be a profiler to know this US Marshall was a big teddy bear underneath. JJ reached out her hand but didn't take a step forward, completely unwilling to step away from Aaron. "It's nice to meet you Marshall."

Erikson chuckled, his hand engulfing JJ's tinier one as he gently shook it. "Just Rick, no need to be formal. We're gonna be spending a lot of time together, might as well try to enjoy it as much as possible! It's nice to meet you as well Agent Jareau."

JJ gave him another smile, liking Rick instantly. "JJ." Rick nodded, smiling at her once again before looking over her head, his eyes obviously trained on Aaron.

"I'll do everything I can to help her safe, no matter what." JJ shut her eyes, fighting against the tears so hard she began to shake. Rick nodded to Aaron, probably in response to a nod from Aaron or so she assumed, before looking back at JJ, moving to step away from the group. "I'll let you say goodbye. Take all the time you need, I'll be by the elevator when you're ready." JJ nodded without truly realizing it. She turned slowly, her eyes filled to the brim with tears as she took in her family's painful expressions.

The profilers were managing to keep the tears at bay–though they couldn't keep the tears from their eyes–but poor Garcia wasn't so successful. Tears poured down the technical analyst's cheeks. JJ laughed, opening her arms to her friend. "Oh honey."

Garcia rushed forward, crushing JJ against her and openly weeping as though she would never see JJ again. "You can't leave, we need you here!" JJ laughed again and squeezed Garcia tighter before pulling away, holding her friend's hands in her own. The girls stared at each other as Garcia continued to weep uncontrollably as JJ fought to keep her own tears from falling.

Garcia finally began to quiet down, tears still continually streaking down her face. JJ nodded, giving her friend a tight smile. "You and Emily take care of this team for me, ok? Make sure none of them get themselves into any trouble." JJ hugged Garcia to her again, her voice dropping considerably lower but still loud enough for the whole team to hear. "There's no one else I'd trust them with but you." Garcia sobbed into JJ's shoulder, struggling to control herself as she pulled away, kissing JJ's cheek as Morgan stepped up to the girls. He rubbed Garcia's arm, taking JJ away from her as he hugged JJ tightly.

The two hugged for several moments, no words passing until Morgan pulled away, kissing JJ on the cheek just as Garcia had. "We'll get you home soon sweetie."

JJ nodded, giving her friend a smile. "I know you will." She smiled again as Morgan held Garcia to him, glad Garcia had him to fall back on. Emily rushed forward, a tear finally escaping her as she hugged JJ to her, both women clenching their eyes shut. JJ smiled at her brunette friend, hugging her a second time. "You have to take care of the team in the field. I'm putting them in your and Garcia's hands."

Emily smiled, sniffling briefly as she nodded in response. "We'll take care of them. You just be safe, do you hear me? You'll be back here soon and then _you_ can go back to babysitting the team." JJ laughed, the two girls sharing one final hug before JJ turned to Spence, his head hung low and his eyes boring a hole straight in the ground.

JJ stepped forward, her arms engulfing Spencer in a hug as his arms tightly clung to JJ. "Please be careful JJ." She nodded against his shoulder, squeezing her special friend before pulling away, plastering a smile on her face as she flicked his nose.

"I'll be careful. _You_ have to be careful too, I don't want to get back here and find out you got yourself in trouble again." Reid gave her a sheepish little smile, nodding his head as the pair hugged again.

JJ turned to Dave next, who stood with his hands in his pockets, staring straight at her. "You're just going to be back here in a week, so you better enjoy your time off."

JJ laughed, Dave and the rest of the team chuckling lightly. "That sounds perfect." Dave stepped up and hugged JJ tightly against him, kissing her cheek without letting her go. "You take care of yourself above anything else, you hear me?" JJ nodded, both of them tightening their hold on the other. "We love you kiddo."

JJ gave Dace a smile before staring him straight in the eye, more serious than he had ever seen her look before. "Take care of him Dave. Do you understand me?"

Dave's eyes flickered to Aaron, but the younger agent didn't stop looking at JJ. Dave turned back to JJ and nodded. "I'll take good care of him, promise." JJ took a shaky breath, her composure breaking down as she turned, staring straight at Aaron, whose eyes hadn't left her once.

The lovers just stood a few steps apart, staring at each other as the rest of the team simply melted into the background. JJ finally lost her fight as a tear fell down her cheek. Aaron took a deep breath, reaching out and pulling JJ to him. "Come here." JJ let out a single sob as Aaron crushed his lips against hers in front of their team in the middle of the BAU. The entire team looked away, tears clouding their vision as they tried to imagine the pain their friends were going through; they all knew their pain at JJ's leaving was nothing compared to what Aaron was currently going through.

Aaron and JJ held to each other as tightly as they possibly could, absolutely no space between them. Aaron kissed JJ repeatedly, her tears falling onto his face as they kissed each other time and time again. Aaron kissed each of JJ's cheeks as she continued to cry, trying as hard as she could to calm down but unable to stop the emotions that were so overpowering inside of her. She sobbed as she felt Aaron press his lips to her forehead and keep them there, her whole body shaking with the force of her tears. There was no feeling she loved more than resting against Aaron's body, his arms wrapped tightly and protectively around her, and his lips on her forehead. JJ shook her head, unable to calm down. Her voice was quiet, but the entire team could hear the franticness in it. "How am I supposed to be away from you?"

Aaron clenched his eyes shut, tears flooding his eyes as he held JJ even tighter, kissing her forehead once more before hugging her to him, her face buried in his chest as she continued to cry. He had absolutely no idea how to answer her question, and he had even less of any idea of how to live without her. He knew he had to let her go, but he sure as hell didn't know how he was supposed to survive it. _She has to be safe. She has to be safe. She has to be safe._

JJ tried to calm down but she simply couldn't. She just kept crying against Aaron's chest, her hands clenching his suit jacket as tightly as they could. "I can't do this, I can't leave you Aaron. I can't, I just can't-"

Aaron finally pulled away, kissing JJ before holding her face between his hands as he stared her straight in the eye. "JJ, I swear I will bring you home. You know I won't stop until I find him and bring you back. But you _have_ to be safe."

JJ continued to cry, one hand still clenching Aaron's jacket as the other reached up to grab the hand that lay on her right cheek. "But I'm safe here, I'm safest with you! I can help you!"

_She has to be safe. __She has to be safe. She has to be safe._ "JJ, I will bring you home." His voice dropped even lower as JJ finally began to calm down, tears still falling down her cheeks but at a slower rate. Neither one of them even remembered the team standing around them; each one of them had tears falling down their faces as they watched their family say goodbye, but they still heard every word exchanged between the two. "I have to have you safe. You have to be safe…I need you to be safe."

JJ took a deep, shaky breath, nodding her head as she tried to get a hold of herself. "Promise me you'll be safe here."

Aaron nodded, his eyes still glued to hers. "I promise."

JJ began to lose her composure once again as more tears fell down her face, her voice cracking with emotion. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

"I promise JJ."

"I'll kick your ass if you don't." Aaron smiled, laughing quietly as JJ gave him a small smile.

"I know you will sweetheart." He quickly wiped her cheeks with his thumbs, JJ wiping her own face afterwards. Aaron leaned forward, kissing JJ gently once more before pulling her to him, holding her tightly against him for a moment, knowing Morgan was motioning for Erikson to come get JJ.

JJ finally managed to stop crying, but she didn't know how to let go of Aaron. She held tightly to him, terrified of moving an inch, knowing that as soon as she left his arms she would be taken away from him, not knowing when she would be back in his arms again. Aaron kissed her forehead once more, JJ pulling away to kiss him on the lips before staring into his eyes.

Aaron knew this was the last time he'd have JJ in his arms for as long as it took to catch Foyet, so he gave her a smile, staring deeply into her eyes. "I love you more than anything."

JJ smiled back, a single tear pooling in the corner of her eye. "I love you more."

Aaron chuckled before the pair grew serious again, trying to hold onto their smiles but realizing that this was their last moment together. Aaron held JJ's face and kissed her deeply once more, both of them lingering for as long as they could before Aaron released her completely, his eyes clenched shut as she pulled away and swiftly moved away from him; they both knew it had to be a quick break away or they would never leave each other.

Aaron continued to keep his eyes shut, trying to hold on to the feeling of JJ in his arms for as long as he possibly could. JJ stared straight ahead, refusing to turn around as she moved beside Erikson to the elevator. The doors dinged and JJ stepped inside swiftly, finally staring at each member of her team before landing on Aaron, who had opened his eyes as soon as he heard the elevator doors opening. They held eye contact as the doors began to close, Aaron mouthing "_I love you_" and JJ smiling back as the doors finally closed.

The BAU was eerily quiet as everyone stayed still, the great loss they just suffered weighing heavily on all of them. Garcia lost all semblance of control and completely broke down, Morgan quickly sitting her down at his desk and holding her tightly to him, tears in his eyes and a few streak marks on his cheeks. Prentiss moved over and held Reid's hand, both of the profilers with tears in their eyes and on their cheeks. Even though the team paired off to comfort each other, all attention was completely devoted to their unit chief who stood completely still, his back to his team as he continued to stare at the closed elevator doors.

Dave moved forward, still standing behind Aaron, his hand reaching up to squeeze his friend's shoulder, a few tears working their way down his cheeks as he tried to fathom how utterly painful this was for the poor man in front of him.

Aaron couldn't tear his eyes away from the elevator. He knew his team needed him to be strong, needed him to be an example they could follow in the midst of JJ's departure. He needed to return to his office, lock himself in and focus on nothing but finding and destroying Foyet. He had to focus now on getting her back home before she was gone too long.

But he still couldn't turn away from the elevators. He simply stared at the doors where he had last seen JJ's face, willing them to open and bring her back to him. _She has to be safe. She has to be safe. She has to be safe, she has to be safe, she has to be safe, she has to be safe, she-has-to-be-safe-she-has-to-be-safe-she-has-to-be-safe…_


	23. Chapter 23

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: We're getting closer to the end of the story, guys. I contemplated drawing it out–simply because it's hard to imagine letting this one end–but I can't do that. We've still got _plenty_ to go through (poor Hotch and JJ), so as always, I appreciate all the love and support you've continually given to the story and me. You're all fantastic beyond words.

* * *

Garcia paused, her whole body locked up with her keys still in her hands, raised as though to unlock the door in front of her. She knew she had locked her door after leaving the office today. She had speedily completed everything she needed to get done, even so far as to skip her daily break-time flirting with her chocolate Adonis to get everything done even faster, spoken to Hotch about leaving early–which he was just fine with–and hurriedly packed her items and _locked her door_ before flying out of the office building to get ready. It was her anniversary and she wanted to look super smashing good for Kevin tonight. She had been in a hurry since the second she got to work.

But she had definitely locked her office door.

She had managed to make it only four streets away from her house when she realized her damn cell phone was still at work. Considering the dependability the team had on her–after all, she was the computer-wizarding goddess of all that was knowledge and information on her team…next to a certain scrawny genius, but he was ridiculously inept at all things technology so she still proclaimed herself goddess of all that was knowledge–she absolutely had to have the tiny device currently locked up in her office.

And she was damn sure that it had been _locked up_ in her office when she left the damn building!

She was a federal agent in the federal building of her federal employment, but that didn't stop Garcia from grabbing the pink mace that hung from her crazy collection of key chains. She took a deep breath before stalking forward, throwing open the door, mace ready in her arms as she barged into her own unlocked office. She was completely ready to take down whoever was waiting for her in the tiny cave of majestic wonderment that was her private workplace…until she took a minute to recognize the profile of the suit-wearer before her, its owner not even aware she had crashed into the small space.

Garcia meant to speak up instantly, but she didn't need to see the face to know the emotions swirling around inside the stoic man before her. The tension he had been carrying in his shoulders for the past two months was even more pronounced than usual; she once again hated the fact that there was nothing in the world she could do to alleviate some of the weight he carried. Her eyes scoped down to his hands, a tiny but colorful object held tightly in both. She squinted for a moment, trying to make out exactly what he had picked up before her eyes began to well up with tears. It was a picture of her, smiling with her arms wrapped around none other than Jennifer Jareau.

"Sir." She barely even whispered the word, the emotions inside her at finding her normally strong and stoic boss in her office overpowering her momentarily and robbing her of her ability to actually speak. He didn't turn or make any indication that he had even heard her; he just kept staring down at the picture of his girlfriend and her best friend.

"Hotch." The word finally came out loudly enough to reverberate through the office, and Hotch turned, his eyes masking some of the emotions he was feeling as he took in his technical analyst. Garcia felt even more tears fill her eyes as she took in the sadness and pain that rolled off of him in waves; he may have always been unemotional and harder than hell to read, but her boss had lost all the light in his eyes the day JJ stepped into the elevator with Marshall Rick Erikson.

He continued staring at her, unable to keep the sadness and despair from his eyes. He blinked a few times, almost as though he were clearing his vision before he truly saw his agent in front of him. "Garcia." He glanced around the office, quickly taking everything in but blatantly ignoring the picture he was still holding in his hands. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come into your office after you left."

Garcia shook her head, wanting to move toward her boss but unable to move. She stared hard at the picture in his hands, trying to imagine what JJ would do if she was the one standing in her place. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she realized just how much everyone missed her friend…no one more so than the broken man before her. "It's ok sir…"

She looked back at his face but his eyes were focused solely on the picture in his hands. "I couldn't keep staring at the picture of us in my office, I…I knew you had a few pictures up in yours…"

Garcia shook her head, a few more tears falling from her eyes. "It's alright Hotch." He glanced up, his eyes softening as he took in the blonde in front of him. She tried to give him a smile but she knew it was filled with pain. He shot her a small one in return before glancing back down at the picture. "Do you…you can take that one into your office…"

"No." He shook his head but didn't look up. "I know how much you miss her, she needs to stay here with you too." Garcia wiped her cheeks, finally stepping forward to stand next to her boss and friend. They looked down at the picture, Garcia leaning slightly against the taller agent beside her.

"I miss her so much Hotch. It's not the same without her."

"We'll bring her home. We'll find Foyet and I'll bring her home." Garcia glanced up briefly, wondering to herself if Hotch had noticed the switch from 'we' to 'I' but he simply remained focused on the picture. She looked down again, nodding to herself as well as to him.

"I just hope it's soon."

Hotch nodded, lingering on the picture for a minute more before turning away, setting the picture in exactly the same spot as it had been upon entering the office. Garcia wondered briefly if this was his first break-in to her office, but she honestly didn't care. The man was suffering more than any one person should ever have to suffer, and she would never do anything to make it harder on him. He turned back, his face once again resuming his normal stoic expression before he reached out, gently squeezing her arm once before walking to the door. He looked back right before exiting, a small smile on his face. "Enjoy your anniversary tonight."

She nodded, unable to move from her spot. "Thank-you, sir." He was gone only a moment later.

* * *

"I wonder if you would have ignored the knock at your door if you'd known I brought scotch." Hotch looked up, surprised to hear another voice in his office. He was even more surprised to see Dave standing in his doorway, jacket missing with the bottle of scotch he kept in his office in one hand and two mugs in the other.

Hotch had forced himself to keep his promise to JJ, no matter how difficult it was turning out to be. The last few days had been thankfully quiet on his end, and he knew a large part of that was due to the amazing team he had standing behind him. He hadn't failed to notice the substantial decrease in the amount of paperwork he was usually required to take care of; every member of his team had taken a large percentage of his workload off his hands, leaving him with plenty of spare time to focus solely on George Foyet. He'd definitely have to figure out a way to thank them after this was all over.

He currently had every single piece of paper with George Foyet's name on it opened on his desk and had apparently been so engrossed that he had failed to hear the multiple knocks on his door. "Sorry Dave, I just…"

Dave shook his head, shutting the door behind him before making his way over to the chair across from the profiler. "I understand Aaron. I just figured maybe you could use a drink, especially if you plan on being here through most of the night."

He began pouring a generous amount of scotch in both mugs, silently taking in the younger man before him. The whole team had taken to stealthily profiling their unit chief, a fact that couldn't have gone unnoticed by the team leader himself. Thankfully for the rest of the team, he had been kind enough to let them worry about him in silence. "How late are you planning on staying here tonight, if you don't mind me asking?"

Hotch sighed, glancing at the clock on his desk, trying not to linger on the picture of him and JJ that was placed front and center for him to see. _11:04pm._ "Maybe another hour or so. I'll be home by one at the latest, I figure."

Dave handed over one of the mugs before grabbing his own and leaning back in his chair, still observing the younger agent before him. "You know, I'm surprised by you. We were all so sure that you'd become this walking zombie hard-ass that would live in this office and make damn sure we did the same until we had Foyet behind bars."

Hotch smiled, and Dave marked it as one of the first genuine smiles he had seen on his friend's face in the last two months. "It was my initial plan, trust me."

"What changed your mind?"

Hotch took a sip of his scotch, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling before answering his friend. "I made a promise to JJ."

Dave nodded, finally understanding why Hotch had been so…unexpected the past two months since JJ had left. The whole team had tried to mentally prepare themselves for hell on Earth upon JJ's departure, but there had been surprisingly little change. Hotch was of course more distant; it was obvious to every member of his team at any given moment that the man was suffering day in and day out. But he didn't pull away from the rest of the team completely as they expected. He didn't lash out at them or force them to work harder. He stayed late at the office as always, but he always went home at some point in the night before returning hours later. When a new case was brought to the team, his work ethic remained just as professional and strong as ever.

Dave watched as his friend continued staring at the ceiling, trying to imagine the hell he was currently experiencing. "We'll get her back Aaron."

Hotch nodded, his eyes closing as he continued to face the ceiling. "I know."

Dave sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared intently at the man in front of him. "Aaron." Hotch took two long breaths before opening his eyes, picking up his head to face the older profiler. "She'll come home. We'll get her home."

Hotch nodded, desperately trying to believe he was telling the truth. Dave took another drink from his mug, desperately wishing he could erase all the doubt in their minds.

* * *

Aaron threw his briefcase on the couch, shutting off the alarm and walking through the apartment before removing his gun and suit jacket. His eyes glanced over at the alcohol container a few feet away, but he found himself sitting on the couch before he really thought about pouring himself a drink. He didn't bother turning anything on for background noise; he'd realized in the first few days that no amount of background noise could make the utter quiet of the apartment disappear. Without JJ, it was always quiet, not matter how loud the television or music got.

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped tightly together, his chin resting against them. He stared off into nothing and finally let himself feel everything he forced back through the course of the work day, just as he did every night.

First was the worry. He had been a profiler long enough, had seen enough of the evils of the world to know that Foyet could potentially strike at any given second. He wanted to have complete faith that Marshall Erikson could keep JJ safe. He didn't doubt the man's intentions at all, but Aaron knew Foyet was nothing the world had ever seen before, and he knew exactly how far he would go if it meant he could get to JJ. It was enough to make Aaron deathly afraid of his cell phone every second of the day.

Second came the loneliness and despair, hitting as a united front. The only other time Aaron had felt so utterly alone was when Haley had picked Jack up after their first night together following the separation. Even coming home from Milwaukee to an empty house wasn't as bad as coming back to an apartment without JJ. No matter where she was in the apartment, Aaron could _feel_ JJ's presence when she was there. He'd never experienced it with Haley, but it made it even worse when JJ wasn't around. It was the number one reason he had asked her over practically every night after he had finally recovered from his own encounter with Foyet. He simply hated when JJ wasn't around.

Next was the anger. Anger at Foyet for the most obvious and hate-filled reasons. Anger at Shaunessey, the Boston police, every other case that had crossed his desk since he first heard of The Reaper simply because they had somehow attributed to Foyet's freedom. Anger at the team for not being able to find him. Anger at JJ for loving him and accepting the risk she was putting her life at. Anger at himself for everything. He was angry at himself above all else.

It felt lacking to simply call it anger; the deep, consuming emotion that welled-up inside him every night was not anger or rage or fury or wrath. It was a compounding emotion built upon all of those that was still not quite explained by their combination. His insides turned to molten lead and his heart felt as though it were pumping pure hatred through his veins. He could tear down a building and feel nothing. It was the cause of many smashed glasses, a few holes in the wall, and even a broken kitchen chair he had been unable to keep from utterly decimating.

After the 'anger' had found some sort of an outlet, Aaron was simply left with emptiness. Just a dark, empty, unfulfilled void left deep inside that only JJ could fill. She had been the one to keep the emptiness from forming deep inside him when he lost Jack. She had been the beacon of hope and light that he had needed, allowing him to overcome that darkness in the beginning.

Jack and JJ. His son and the love of his life.

He wanted Jack back. He needed Jack back.

But the emptiness would never fully be filled until he got JJ back.


	24. Chapter 24

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

From the moment he violently woke up, Aaron knew something was wrong. He had been sound asleep–a rare occurrence since she had left–and he couldn't remember what he had been dreaming of before he sat up, his whole body covered in sweat, his heart pounding and his breath labored. He might not have been dreaming at all. He glanced over at the clock, not surprised that it was only a little after 4 in the morning. There was no point in even trying to go back to sleep; there was no way he was going to manage to fall back asleep…not without her anyways, and definitely not with this indescribable feeling deep in the pit of his stomach.

He rolled over and sat up, both feet on the floor and his hands clenched tightly in front of him. He glanced at the clock to be sure of the date before he lowered his head. It had been twenty-nine days since JJ had left, just shy of one month. Twenty-nine days since he had spoken to her, heard her laugh, held her in his arms, fallen asleep to her breathing evenly and peacefully beside him…

Today should have started with waking her up with breakfast in bed. They should have taken the day off, spending all day at the beach or shopping or lounging around the house together. He should have gotten to take her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant where she could spend two hours getting dressed up and looking her absolute best. He should have gotten to make her laugh and smile and blush all day long, until he finally got to bring her home and make love to her until they fell asleep. He should have been able to wrap his arms around her and hold her against him, watching her as her breath evened out as she fell asleep, him following close behind with a smile on his face.

But he was spending the day alone, just like every other day for the past month.

The feeling stayed after an intense eight mile run, draining him of the strength to run the extra two miles he ran every morning. It stayed with him as he took a scalding hot shower to try to relieve the tension he had been carrying inside of him in the roughly four weeks since she'd be gone. It kept him confined only to coffee, his stomach too knotted to digest real food, but he was pretty much only running on caffeine by now anyways.

Twenty-nine days. Twenty-nine days of nothing. No new leads. No connections. No theories or possibilities. Every quiet day was just another slap in the face to him, another reminder that he had wasted a day without her. Wasted a day going through the motions alone, simply because she had made him promise her that he wouldn't kill himself trying to get her back. Out of all of the promises he had ever made to her in the course of their years together…he hated the fact that he was unable to say no to her.

Hell if he hadn't made that damn promise to her he wouldn't be standing in his kitchen, wouldn't have gotten ready and changed his suit and showered, wouldn't have spent the night tossing around in his bed until sleep finally overtook him. He wouldn't be doing anything but hunting Foyet, stopping for _nothing_ until he found him and brought her home.

But he made a promise and he couldn't even fathom breaking it, no matter how much he hated the constriction it put on him. So he woke up in his own bed that morning, got himself ready for the day, and headed to work no earlier than he normally did, which was still earlier than anyone else.

The feeling deep inside him stayed with him all day. All the way up until he answered his phone.

* * *

"Anybody seen Hotch? He's not in his office." Prentiss and Morgan shared a smile as they took in Reid who, far twitchier than his normal standards, was unable to stand still as his eyes darted between the two profilers. Everyone had been on excessive 'Hotch-alert' in the days since JJ had left, looking for any signs that their boss wasn't holding up in a somewhat healthy fashion. Dave was on nothing but 24-hour Hotch patrol, as demanded by JJ in her final moments in the BAU office, but everyone was concerned for the unit chief.

Morgan nodded over to Rossi's office and took a sip from his coffee mug. The team was currently still on stand-down as no new case had cropped up that required their immediate attention in the past week. The leading profilers usually relished the first few days of rest and relaxation from a case before the boredom set in, but this time in Quantico with no outstanding case was precious to all of them. No matter how long it lasted, it still offered them more time to dedicate to finding Foyet. "Rossi's office."

Reid's head whipped instantly to the senior profiler's door; neither Prentiss nor Morgan bothered to hold in their chuckle at the young genius. Finally satisfied with the location of his boss, Reid sat down at his desk, but his body continued to bounce as though he were waiting for some huge catastrophe to happen.

Prentiss crumpled up a piece of paper and chucked it at his head. "Reid, if you don't calm down and stop bouncing I'm going to tie you to your chair!"

Morgan chuckled, shooting a wink at Prentiss. "And I'll gladly help."

Reid began to pout, the moment one of the lighter ones around the BAU in long time, and Prentiss and Morgan laughed once again. Everything had changed in the office with the departure of their media liaison. Garcia, trying desperately to remain bright and bubbly, was on a constant rollercoaster of emotions which led to uncontrollable mood swings. One moment she'd be running around doing cartwheels to keep everyone's mind off the missing blonde, the next moment she'd be hysterical to the point where Hotch would have to step in and comfort her while someone called Kevin to come and collect the frenzied technical analyst.

Prentiss became the overseeing protector of the BAU agents, her usual light and confidently relaxed demeanor gone completely. She held onto her promise that she would protect the family while JJ was away with the utmost importance, and nothing could stop her from ensuring every member of their family was carefully watched over. She stretched herself thin on cases and stand-down to keep an eye on each and every member of the team. She had a new respect and admiration for JJ; how the little media liaison kept tabs on all the team, meeting any need they might have, while also working just as hard as they did was truly a superpower that only JJ possessed.

Morgan overcompensated for JJ's departure by trying to keep the mood around the office as light as possible, although he knew it was a complete waste of time. He couldn't even keep his own mind light and calm, there was no way he could keep everyone else from focusing solely on their missing friend. He picked on Reid, Rossi, and Prentiss more than normal, each time praying with all his heart that JJ would poke her head out of her office and shoot him a glare, reminding him that if he messed with any member of her team he'd have to deal with her. Without JJ's constant watchful eye, Morgan lost the one person who could truly keep his sense of teasing humor in line.

Reid was a frenzied mess every second of the day. He was constantly moving, almost as though he expected to have to jump into overdrive at any second. He jumped each time the phone rang and his whole body stood at attention any time someone walked into the office. He couldn't calm down with JJ being gone, and no one could get him to relax. He was withdrawn from the others, almost as though he wasn't brave enough to be a member of the team without JJ around; Morgan had never apologized for teasing him in the years since JJ had joined the team, but it was quickly becoming a frequent occurrence.

Reid attempted to control his bouncing body but couldn't stop from voicing his thoughts. "Any idea what's going on up there?"

Morgan and Prentiss grew serious, their eyes glancing to the closed door leading to Rossi's office. Morgan sighed and shook his head, his coffee mug held tightly in both of his hands. "No idea man."

Prentiss finally shifted her eyes back to the two men in front of her. "Hotch seemed…bad today."

Morgan nodded, his eyes glancing at hers before returning to his coffee mug. "Yeah I noticed that too."

Reid had managed to control his bouncing but his eyes were darting all over the place. He finally managed to keep his eyes on Morgan, his brain running twenty-six miles a minute. "Did something happen yesterday that we missed?"

Both profilers shook their head. "Nothing different than the rest of the week."

"Did something happen today, or this morning…"

Morgan glanced quickly back at the office. "I think that's what Rossi's trying to figure out." Prentiss sat quietly, the gears in her head slowly turning as she opened up her calendar on her computer. Morgan and Reid were still focused on each other. "Rossi called Hotch into his office the minute he got here and we let him know-"

"It's their anniversary."

Both men instantly turned toward Prentiss, her eyes wide and slightly teary as she stared at the calendar on her computer. Morgan looked at her, confused before moving around to stand behind her, Reid leaning forward as he watched the two profilers. "What?"

Prentiss, her eyes slightly glazed from the moisture, pointed out the date to Morgan on her screen. "It's their six-month anniversary. JJ and Hotch. I remember JJ told me they made it official on their first real date. I remember I made a joke that she got to have a hot date with the boss while I had to go to dinner with my mother. It was six-months ago…"

All three profilers turned to gaze up at the office once more, all three completely quiet as they tried to imagine just how awful today was for their unit chief.

* * *

"Hotchner."

"_Is this Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner of the Behavior Analysis Unit?"_

"Speaking."

There was a slight pause as the voice on the other end of the phone cleared his throat. Hotch wanted to roll his eyes but managed to ignore the urge. He had work to do and he didn't have time for a phone call involving a party who was too terrified to be speaking to SSA Hotchner to actually formulate coherent sentences. They took forever to conclude and it annoyed Hotch like nothing else.

"_Agent Hotchner, this is Mitchell Nestor of the United States Marshall Services-"_

Hotch could feel his heart as it fervently tried to rip itself from his chest. He knew without a shadow of doubt that this was it; this was the moment he had subconsciously trying to prepare himself for since he woke up this morning. "Is this about Agent Jareau?"

"_Agent Hotchner I want to assure you-"_

"Is Jennifer Jareau ok?"

"_Sir the United States Marshall Service is designed-"_

Hotch grew more and more impatient with each word that came over the receiver. "I don't give a damn about the Marshall Service, is Jennifer safe?"

The pause on the other end of the phone gave Hotch's stomach the time it needed in order to drop straight through his shoes. He was going to track this incompetent idiot down and beat the hell out of him if he didn't start talking about JJ in the next ten seconds.

"_Agent Hotchner, I want to-"_

Hotch was officially done with this dumbass. As the words began to leave his mouth, he was shocked by the power in his tone. He had never in his entire life sounded so authoritative, so FBI-Supervisory-Special-Agent, and he couldn't help but cringe at the realization that JJ would have been laughing had she been standing beside him during the phone call.

"_Mr. Nestor._ If you do not inform me as to the condition of Jennifer Jareau in the next ten seconds I will personally make sure you never have to make another phone call fro the United States Marshall Services again."

The pause of Mr. Nestor gave Hotch a slight hope that he had finally gotten his point across but the lull was driving him insane. _"Agent Hotchner, Marshall Rick Erikson was found beaten in his safe-way apartment two hours ago. He's currently in critical condition."_

Hotch had to lean back against his desk to keep upright; his lamp, picture frame of him and Jack, and several other items that occupied the right side of his desk loudly crashed to the floor. He didn't even realize he hadn't responded or that Mr. Nestor hadn't stopped "reassuring" him until he heard Dave call his name. He looked up, his eyes completely vacant as he took in his entire team standing by his office door, a look of confusion and slight worry on each one of their faces.

He finally remembered the man on the other end of the phone but he didn't have the energy to be authoritative anymore. "Where's Jennifer?"

There was another long pause and Hotch felt his heart pound one last time in his chest before Mr. Nestor's words effectively stopped it. "We don't know. She's currently missing. I'm sorry Agent Hotchner."


	25. Chapter 25

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

"Foyet's calling Hotch." Every member of the team in the speeding SUV turned their attention to the phone at Garcia's words.

"Garcia, can you get us on?" With just a few clicks of her mouse, the team and Garcia were patched in; Morgan sped a little faster in his attempt to get to their two missing team members. A collective intake of breath was held as the phone rang once before the click of the answer button was heard over the line.

Aaron was driving faster than a bat-out-of-hell, but he _had_ to get to JJ. He had managed to refocus all his efforts on reaching her after Foyet hung up on him, and now he could only focusing on reaching JJ. He quickly glanced at the phone in his hand as it rang once, verifying the caller ID that flashed across the screen before immediately turning his attention back to the road as he rushed to JJ. "Foyet."

"Aaron."

Aaron froze at the sound of JJ's voice on the other end of the phone; there was no strength left inside of him. He broke the moment he heard his name on her lips, her tone dejected, apologetic, and terrified. He didn't want to scare her anymore than she currently was, but as he spoke her name, it came out as a sob. "JJ."

"You're ok?" Aaron could feel the strength JJ was hanging on to, knowing that she was fighting every fear she felt. He felt his own strength grow as he listened to her. Even though she was the one he was desperately fighting to protect, she still needed to know he was ok.

"I'm fine." JJ needed to stay strong, and Aaron confessing every fear and pain he had was not going to help her now. He _had_ to stay strong, he _had_ to get to her.

"I'm so sorry Aaron." Her voice cracked slightly at the apology and Aaron wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make everything ok. He knew they both needed to stay as strong as they possibly could until he got there.

"JJ. Show him no weakness."

He could picture JJ nodding on the other end of the phone. "No fear. I know." There was a slight pause as the two lovers fought back against the pain that was enveloping them both. "Is Rick ok?"

Aaron didn't want to tell JJ that Marshall Erikson had died, but he knew couldn't lie to her. He just remained silent at her question, his heart clenching at the tiny, involuntary outcry that escaped from her.

Aaron's hand clenched the wheel tighter, his foot pushing harder on the gas as he heard Foyet's voice over the phone. "What, no words of comfort Aaron? No 'don't worry darlin', he's just fine.' The poor girl's upset; don't you want to make her feel better?"

The fear that Aaron wouldn't reach JJ in time began to eat away at him the instant he heard Foyet speak. The idea alone nearly killed him; Foyet held the love of Aaron's life in his hands, and because of that, he finally held complete and utter control over Aaron Hotchner.

"You know all you had to do was stop hunting me and she wouldn't be in this mess?"

Aaron heard the intake of breath he took and was amazed that it wasn't a sob. As much as it pained him to admit it, Foyet was right. If Aaron had taken the deal when Foyet had offered it to him, none of this would have happened. Foyet would never have gone after JJ, Aaron would never have been attacked, Jack and Haley would never have been sent away, all those victims would never have been killed. JJ was in this situation–this life or death situation–because of him and him alone.

Aaron's emotions were so completely overcharged that he would have definitely flipped his car if JJ's voice hadn't sounded over the receiver. "That's not true Aaron!"

Foyet's laugh brought him back to the brink of darkness. "Oh but it is, and dear Aaron knows that. If he had just made the deal-"

Foyet and JJ were yo-yoing Aaron back and forth between light and dark, strength and weakness, power and insanity. "Aaron, you know that isn't true."

"-then none of this would have ever happened."

"I know you know it isn't true!"

"Those people in Boston-"

"You're not the kind of man that could make that deal Aaron!"

"My attack against you-"

"You're too strong to make a deal with someone like him!"

"Sending Jacky boy and Haley away-"

"You're better than that deal Aaron!"

"And now poor little JJ-"

"You wouldn't be the man you are if you had made that deal!"

"None of this would've happened if you had just made the deal."

"You wouldn't be the man I love if you had made that deal Aaron!"

"And now poor JJ has to pay the price."

"Don't listen to him Aaron!"

"All because of you."

Aaron stood on the edge of despair, ready to plunge headfirst into the nothingness it offered. With JJ in Foyet's hands because of his own decisions and action, there was nothing to keep Aaron from falling into complete and total darkness.

"NONE of this is your fault Aaron."

The instant his name fell from her lips from across the phone, the instant JJ spoke those words with such ferocity, with such power and conviction, Aaron felt himself overcome with love. The love he held for JJ, and the love he was honored to receive from her, exploded inside of him and filled every crevice of his body, mind, heart, and soul.

"JJ I love you."

JJ sobbed at Aaron's admission. She was still terrified more than she had ever been in her life, but she was instantly filled with love for the man on the other end of the phone.

"You're so strong JJ, you're the strongest person I know. I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life. You're everything to me, you taught me how to be the man I am, the best I could ever hope to be. You're everything that's good and pure and beautiful in the world. God, JJ I love you so much more than you'll ever know. You're perfect and I love you. I love you. I love-"

Aaron could feel the tears pouring down his face, and judging from the sobs coming across the phone line, he knew tears were pouring down his love's face as well. "JJ I love you. I love you so much."

JJ sniffled and took a deep breath, composing herself enough to speak to the man she loved more than anything. "I love you Aaron."

Aaron's heart clenched at her words, knowing that for whatever reason, she absolutely meant it. God he was so close to her location, just a little bit further! "I love you. I'm sorry for everything."

JJ took another deep breath. "Aaron…promise me…you'll go out with the team after cases. You'll hug and play with and hold Jack every moment that you can. That you'll laugh with him every day."

More and more tears cascaded down his face. "JJ-"

"You need to remember that you're his superhero Aaron. Promise me that you will never let anything break you. The team needs a leader like you. The world needs a man like you. Jack needs a father like you. You are loved so much more than you realize Aaron." She took a deep breath, her voice cracking with emotion just like his had. "I want the world to have you; I want the world to see you like I see you. Don't ever lose who you are because you…are the best man I have ever known. And don't you ever forget how much I love you. Promise me Aaron."

Aaron paused, bracing himself. "I promise." He heard a gunshot as the phone fell to the ground, a second sometime after, followed immediately by a third. He clenched his eyes shut and threw the phone against the dashboard, trying to keep his broken heart intact long enough to turn the wheel all the way to the left, the car tires burning out with the intensity of the turn he was taking. He was right there, the house was right there! He threw the car in park as his feet touched the ground, his gun out and in his hands as he barreled through the door. "JJ!"

He narrowly missed the gunshot meant for him that came from the staircase before he aimed and fired himself, narrowly missing Foyet on the stairs. Foyet moved to run up the stairs, aimlessly firing shots at Aaron who was advancing towards him faster than Foyet could counter. Just as Foyet managed to reach the landing of the second floor Aaron tackled into him from behind, both of them losing their footing as they tumbled down the stairs together.

Aaron managed to get on his feet as Foyet got to his knees, quickly delivering a kick to Foyet's ribcage. He swiftly lifted Foyet to his feet, slamming him into a wall, punching him directly across his jaw before slamming his head once against the wall, then again against a glass picture frame hanging on the wall. He delivered a final punch to Foyet's face, sending the bastard straight to the ground before kneeling down to tower over the man bleeding on his floor.

Foyet's hands immediately went up in the air. "Ok! You…you got me. I surrender." The small smile on Foyet's face just added to Aaron's power as the fury overtook him. "I surren-" Aaron's fist powerfully connecting to Foyet's face effectively silenced the murderer at Aaron's hands.

Another punch delivered with more force than the previous one. Another with even more. Another with even more.

_FLASH!_ The Reaper, his mask clearly in place, flashed before Aaron's eyes, only to be replaced with JJ's face.

Punch.

_FLASH!_ The Reaper, his mask, Jack.

Punch.

_FLASH!_ Foyet, no mask, knife in hand, in his apartment, delivering one of nine stabs to Aaron's body.

Aaron slammed Foyet's head against the wood floor.

_FLASH!_ The Reaper, mask in place, one of his many victims, fear blatantly written all over his face.

Another slam against the floor.

_FLASH!_ The Reaper preparing to attack, another victim suffering at his hands.

Another slam.

_FLASH!_ Foyet, shirtless, in his apartment, holding the knife that cut into Aaron's body nine times.

Another slam.

_FLASH!_ Foyet's face.

Another slam.

_FLASH!_ Foyet, mask in place, The Reaper.

Another slam.

_FLASH!_ Foyet, shirtless, in his apartment, holding the knife, followed by Aaron lying in the hospital after Foyet's attack.

Another slam.

_FLASH!_ JJ's face.

Another slam. JJ's face. Another slam. JJ's face. Another slam. JJ's face.

Aaron continued to beat Foyet's head against the floor, an image of JJ flashing before his eyes at every hit.

Aaron didn't hear the team enter the room, nor did he register Morgan's arms grabbing him from behind, pulling him off of Foyet with an iron-tight grip. Morgan screamed at Aaron, telling him it was over, that Foyet was dead, but Aaron didn't listen to a single word. He immediately pushed away, forcing Morgan to the floor before rushing up the stairs, screaming on the way up. "JJ! JJ!"

His head whipped around before he spotted JJ to the left. He rushed over and immediately dropped to his knees, picking JJ's body up and holding her in his arms. His hand went straight for her face, quickly checking for a pulse in her neck, relief flooding through him as he felt a faint pulse underneath his fingertips. He could feel her body move as she took labored breaths, and he sobbed at the feel of her breathing in his arms.

Aaron screamed at the team as they made their way up the stairs, none of them moving nearly as quickly as Aaron had. Blood covered almost every inch of JJ's chest and the small bullet hole on the right side of her chest continued to bleed. "Get a medic!" He didn't look at a single member of his team before his attention returned fully to JJ's face.

"JJ, JJ look at me. Look at me JJ, it's Aaron. JJ, open your eyes and look at me. Come on baby, please open your eyes and look at me. JJ, come on honey, open your eyes and look at me."

Knowing that at least she was alive, Aaron held JJ tighter to him, whispering to her as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. He looked at the beautiful woman in his arms, tears still falling from his eyes as he continued to speak to her; her eyes were closed and she hadn't made a sound, but Aaron couldn't stop talking to her. "I'm here JJ. I'm right here love. Please baby, open your eyes. JJ."

He glanced back at the bullet hole, thankful that while it appeared to be bad, there was a very strong chance it wasn't as bad as it could have been; they _had_ to get her to a hospital, she _had_ to be ok. "I love you. Stay with me JJ, you have to stay with me."

He heard the medics on the stairs but he couldn't take his eyes off JJ's face. He just kept whispering to her, rubbing her cheek and feeling her breath against him. "You're going to be fine love. Just stay with me."

Aaron held JJ until the medics got her situated on the stretcher. He held her hand the whole walk to the ambulance, sat at her side the whole ride, and was still holding her hand as she was wheeled into the hospital. Multiple doctors rushed over, their voices mixing with those of the medics as she was wheeled down the hallway. Aaron and the team were stopped by a nurse who told them they couldn't go any further, but it was the team that held Aaron back; he hadn't heard a word the nurse had said and he only stopped moving when he felt Dave and Morgan's hands on his arms, keeping him from going any further. He didn't stop staring at JJ, even as he tried to move forward. "Let go."

Dave put his other hand on Aaron's shoulder, trying to gently but firmly keep Aaron back so the doctors could do their jobs. "She's in good hands Aaron."

Aaron just kept staring ahead, his shoulders finally slumping as she was wheeled through the large double doors that led to the surgical rooms. Dave and Morgan led Aaron over to the plastic chairs and managed to get him to sit before he collapsed. The rest of the team collected themselves around him, each one of them showing their own form of grief over what had happened to their beloved media liaison.

Garcia was openly weeping on Prentiss's shoulders as the raven-haired profiler stroked her arm, tears falling down her own face that was resting against the technical analyst's head. Reid was sitting a chair away, tears clouding his vision as he stared helplessly from one team member to the next, almost as though he was searching for JJ amongst the crowd of BAU agents. Morgan moved to sit next to him, dried tear marks still on his face as he reached over, squeezing Reid's knee before leaving his hand on the youngest profiler's leg. Reid looked at the man sitting next to him, a new onslaught of tears falling from his eyes as he lowered his gaze to stare at his hands resting in his lap while Morgan returned his attention to the opposite side of the room. Rossi sat directly across from him, his full attention focused on the man sitting next to him. He knew better than to try to offer a comforting word or touch; as always, there was only one person who could bring the unit chief back from the insanity he was currently plunged into, and that woman was currently fighting for her life.

Aaron leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees and his hands clenched tightly before him. He was staring at absolutely nothing, almost as though nothing in the real world was worth his attention. His mind, heart, and soul were fully occupied with the blonde woman behind the double doors. There was simply nothing else left in the world beside her.

There was no movement between the team of BAU agents other than the occasional whimper, deep intake of breath, or small outcry for their injured friend. Aaron was the only one to not make a single noise in the hours they all sat there, impatiently waiting any information on JJ.

Aaron was the first one out of his seat when the doctor walked through the double doors, his tired eyes instantly locking with Aaron's; just as the nurse had done with JJ all those months ago, the doctor knew from one look that the information he was about to give was more important to Aaron than to anyone else in the room. "Miss Jareau was very severely injured. She received a gunshot wound straight through her upper thigh, as well as a gunshot to her upper chest. We managed to remove the bullet, but it's too soon to tell right now. She lost a lot of blood and had a lot of internal damage from the gunshot wound she received in her chest. We patched her leg up and did the best we could with her chest wound. She's stable right now, but it's still touch and go. We'll keep her under intense watch and do what we can, but that's the best we can do as of right now."

Garcia openly sobbed and buried herself deeper in Prentiss's shoulder, the two girls holding each other tightly as Reid and Morgan both lost their composure and turned away. Rossi was aching on the inside but tried to hold it in for Aaron, who just stared at the doctor as though he would kill the man if he had the energy. "But she's alive?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, she's hanging on. There's a-"

The doctor whipped around as a nurse came barreling through the double doors, her eyes instantly locking with the doctor's. "She's coding!"

The doctor turned and ran through the doors without another look back at the distraught agents. The entire team lost themselves in despair, knowing without it needing to be said that the 'she' was JJ; they all sat themselves down, tears falling from all of their eyes at the knowledge that there was a very real possibility that JJ simply wasn't strong enough to survive this one.

Aaron stood rooted in his spot, his eyes void of all emotion. There was simply nothing left.

* * *

_Author's Note: Wow, this was really hard to write. 100 was the episode that starting my love of Criminal Minds and it was surprisingly difficult to alter it (which is why I kept it as close to the true episode if I could). I hope this lived up to everyone's expectations-even if it didn't have a happy ending. The story's not over, there's still a few chapters to wrap everything up, so try not to despair! Thanks as always for reading, and if you feel so inclined, please let me know how I did! _


	26. Chapter 26

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

* * *

Everything that was happening was Aaron's fault. JJ had fought so hard to stay with him, stay in Quantico with the team and help find Foyet, but he had fought even harder to get rid of her. He had done it to protect her, but his actions ended up putting her right into Foyet's hands.

Aaron hadn't even tried to keep count of how many hours they had been sitting in the plastic chairs in some random hallway in the hospital. He honestly didn't care; he couldn't focus on anything beyond the woman who was fighting for her life because of him, much less care about anything else. Dave had managed to stop a nurse some time ago, inquiring for any information about JJ's condition.

"_She's still in surgery right now, the doctors are doing what they can. She's holding on for now, but…"_

Aaron had stopped paying attention to the world after that.

She's holding on for now. For now…_for now_…**for now**…for now…fornow. No matter how he repeated it in his head, it always sounded the same. She was holding on for now. Which meant that there was a good chance she wouldn't be holding on later. JJ was strong, the strongest person Aaron had ever met; he told her as much and he had meant every single syllable. But she had been shot twice, once right in her chest…_she's holding on for now._

The love of his life might die. _The love of your life might die, Aaron_. He had spent the majority of his life with Haley–high school, college, his entire career in law, his years on SWAT, his first several years at the BAU. He had been with her when JJ had first entered his life. He had loved Haley truly, honestly, and completely every day they were together. Haley was the mother of his only child, his son Jack, and he loved her most of all for that simple fact. But not once, not once in all the years they had spent together, did Aaron ever believe they were soul mates. Aaron had never believed in soul mates; he had chalked Haley's romantic talk of them being "destined" to be together as just a silly little romantic cliché. He had never in his life believed in destiny or fate or soul mates, no matter how much he loved Haley.

But Jennifer Jareau was his soul mate. A piece of him knew it the moment he met her. The first day she walked into the BAU wearing her high heels, black pencil skirt, and simple blue blouse, he realized he was supposed to meet her. For some reason, entirely unbeknownst to him, he had just been meant to meet her, almost as though their paths were inevitably supposed to cross. He was still happily married, so he had never made the connection to any sort of romantic predisposition, but he had just known deep inside him that JJ was supposed to be in his life.

Over the years, their friendship had grown and developed like nothing he had ever experienced before, and the next thing he knew he was divorced and his heart spared no time in making its feelings for JJ well known. Silly, romantic, childish ideals like fate and destiny and soul mates were suddenly harder to argue against, no matter how well-versed he was in logical deduction and reasoning. Once he finally accepted that he loved JJ–that he was in love with JJ–he realized what his heart had known from the start: Jennifer Jareau was his soul mate, just as Aaron Hotchner was hers.

How could he have sent her away? He should have never let her out of his sight, let alone out of his arms, but he had sent her away to some undisclosed location, some far off place away from him. He had inadvertently gotten a US Marshall killed and God only knew what shape JJ was in when she made that phone call to Aaron. JJ had wanted to stay with him, but Aaron had sent her away. He had failed her.

He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn't survive losing her; he had known that fact since he had gotten the picture of JJ Foyet left at his apartment. He couldn't hold onto his sanity knowing that JJ had been taken by Foyet, had been shot and was now trying to hold on to her life thanks entirely to him. The guilt was already eating Aaron alive and it was just a matter of time before it destroyed him completely. He wanted to be with her more than he wanted anything in the entire world. He wanted to hold her hand, to kiss her cheek and her forehead and her hair and every single inch of her he could as he told her to keep fighting. To just hold on for a little longer until the doctors could tell him conclusively that she would survive. To come back to him so he could selfishly never have to live a day without her.

Aaron remembered the look in JJ's eyes when he first woke up in the hospital. It was unlikely anything he had ever seen in his life, and at the time it was the one solid truth he could hold onto: he was alive. He had survived Foyet's attack and JJ was there to remind him of that simply by looking at him the way she did. Sitting on the tiny plastic chair in the hallway closest to JJ's operating room, Aaron couldn't help but wonder how safe JJ would be had he never made it off the floor of his apartment.

If Foyet had stabbed him just one more time, he might not have survived.

If JJ hadn't shown up at his apartment, he might have bled out.

If Aaron had died on the floor of his apartment, JJ would never have been a target.

She never would have been sent away.

She wouldn't be fighting for her life.

She wouldn't be holding on for now.

She would be safe.

_She would be __fine_.

Aaron felt Dave's hand on his shoulder but still couldn't tear his eyes away from the floor to face his friend. "Aaron, look..."

"Daddy!" Aaron's head shot up for the first time since he collapsed in the chair, his eyes instantly finding the voice that had called out to him. Jack Hotchner let go of his mom's hand and ran, his little legs carrying him as fast as they could down the hospital hallway as Aaron broke down, falling to his knees on the floor in front of his chair. His arms wrapped completely around his son, holding him as tightly as they could as he held onto the lifeline Jack provided. Jack hugged his father back, happier than he had ever been but somehow understanding that Daddy needed a hug because something really bad had happened, even if he was too young to understand exactly what it was.

Aaron could hardly believe he was holding his own son–the tiny, miniature version of himself that he had helped bring into the world–in his arms once again; it had been so long since he had seen Jack, and the time away from his little boy had been pure torture. It was worth it now, knowing that Jack was safe and unharmed, completely protected from any possible harm that could have come to him by Foyet. Aaron knew Haley was close by, but he was thankful she remained silent, allowing Aaron the opportunity to reunite with his son. He'd truly spend the rest of his life making all of this up to her, but right now, he had to put all of his focus on Jack.

Aaron had envisioned being reunited with his son every single day Jack was gone, trying to picture just how incredibly wonderful it would be to have the chance to hug him again. He had pictured it a million different ways, but there was one thing the real event was missing that had been a constant in every single version he had imagined: JJ. No matter how Aaron had tried to envision his reunion with Jack, JJ had always been right there beside him, smiling and laughing while she patiently waited for her turn to hug the boy tightly for herself. So much time had been spent between Aaron and JJ talking about Jack and all the things they would do when he was back, and Aaron had always fallen more in love with her as he saw the light dance in her eyes as she talked about picnics and trips to the zoo and movie nights and all the wonderful things they could do together.

But she wasn't there. She was lying in a hospital bed, coding, fighting for her life. As perfect as it was to hold Jack tightly in his arms, the guilt deeply embedded in Aaron's heart made him wish he and JJ could switch places…that she could be the one with Jack in her arms as Aaron fought for his life.

Aaron would've held Jack until the end of time, but Jack pulled back, staring at his dad as he watched the tears fall down Aaron's face. "Why are you sad, Daddy? Is Miss Jar-o ok?"

Aaron's mouth opened but he couldn't form words. He continued to stare at Jack, but he managed to register that Haley was the one speaking. "They told us…about what happened to JJ in the car over here." Aaron met Haley's eyes briefly, her eyes filled with concern as she stared into his, before he turned back to Jack.

"Did the bad guy hurt JJ?"

Aaron looked down, not wanting Jack to see even more tears pour down Aaron's face. "Yea…" Aaron tried to collect himself but the whole hallway heard his voice crack as he lost the battle against his emotions. "Yeah, buddy, she was hurt pretty bad."

"Is she going to be ok?"

Aaron covered his face, a small sob escaping him against his will. He knew he had to control himself in front of Jack, but he just couldn't stop his heart from breaking. He heard sniffling all around him, and he briefly wondered if his own grief was making everyone else feel even worse. He knew he had to regain his composure so as not to worry Jack, but the tears and heartbreak and utter _pain_ was too much for his heart to control. He took a few shaky breaths, glad at least that he wasn't sobbing any longer before he wiped as much of the moisture off his face, finally looking up at his son's face once again.

"I…I don't know buddy. She's not doing so well right now."

Haley finally stepped forward, a thin layer of tears clouding her eyes as she watched her ex-husband mourn JJ as if she had already died. She knew Aaron was internally destroying himself and she wanted to do something, anything, to offer him some semblance of comfort. But she also knew Aaron well enough to know that the only person in the entire world that could reduce Aaron's guilt was the blonde woman in the hospital room through the double doors. She knew Aaron didn't want Jack to watch him fall apart, so she bent down to Jack's level, reaching out to rub Aaron's arm as she did. She didn't want to take Jack away from Aaron, but she could guess that Aaron was causing himself a lot more anxiety by breaking down in front of Jack. "Come on Jack-"

Jack shook his head violently back and forth, his little brain understanding in a way that such a small child shouldn't be able. He reached up and wiped his tiny palm across his dad's face, trying to wipe more of the tears away as his dad had just done. "We need to stay here until JJ's all better."

Haley knew better than to argue. She just continued to rub Aaron's arm as Aaron lost his composure once again. He wrapped his arms around Jack, picking him up as he sat back down in his chair, Jack leaning up against him as Aaron took deep, shaky breaths, more and more tears falling from his eyes. Haley stood, wiping her eyes as a few tears made their way down her face, Dave reaching over to rub her arm comfortingly before sitting next to Jack. Haley took a seat next to Prentiss, reaching over to squeeze Garcia's hand held tightly in the other agent's hand. Both women shot her a smile, grateful for the comfort and understanding Haley was providing before all attention returned to the man sitting before them, his arms wrapped tightly around his little boy as he tried to hold onto all the pieces of his breaking heart.


	27. Chapter 27

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I know the past few chapters have been crazy, but I promise this one doesn't end with a cliffhanger! I hate to say it, but we're nearing the end of the story; I'm not exactly sure how many more chapters we have, but it's only a few. Thank-you guys so much for staying with the story and for all the love and support you've given it, you're all more amazing than I can say! Hope you enjoy the resolution (whether it's good or bad), and as always, if you feel so inclined, please leave me a review!

* * *

"Aaron Hotchner."

The entire team plus Haley turned towards the doctor as the double doors opened, all of them standing as they came to identify that this was the man who had been working to keep JJ alive all this time. It wasn't until Haley helped Jack to stand up that they all realized Aaron had already stood up and moved to meet the doctor as he approached before they even recognized another person in the room.

"How is she?"

Aaron hadn't moved since Haley and Jack had made it to the hospital, however long ago that happened to be; Aaron hadn't given any energy to keeping track of time. He had managed to remain impassive and calm with Jack sitting next to him, but the young boy had nodded off a while back, his little body slumping over in his chair as boredom turned into sleep. Haley had moved to sit next to Jack so he could rest against her but still be close enough for Aaron to know his son was beside him. The thought of taking him home hadn't even crossed her mind. She knew he needed to be there for his dad.

Aaron, after realizing that Jack was passed out against his mom, had leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped tightly before him, and hadn't moved an inch. He appeared to be staring off into space, but everyone around him knew exactly where Aaron's mind had drifted off to; it was with his heart in an operating room, sending every ounce of love, support, and strength he could to the woman he loved.

The immediate movement in Aaron had startled the team, but it was quickly forgotten as the doctor looked between all of them before finally locking eyes on Aaron. "She's out of surgery and her prognosis is looking good."

Garcia released a sob, and Prentiss threw her arms around her friend, crying from the happiness the doctor's words provided. Morgan slapped a hand on Reid's back, both of the men looking crazy with relief. Haley leaned over to the women, her hand on Garcia's and her cheek resting against Prentiss's back as she shared their joy at the doctor's words.

"She's resting in a private room right now, but we don't know for sure how long it'll take for her to wake up. It could take hours or days, so be prepared to give her some time. I can take you to see her if you like, but I can only allow Mr. Hotchner to sit with her until she wakes up and is fully coherent."

Jack tugged on Rossi's hand next to him, and the eldest profiler looked down at the little boy. "What's that mean?"

Dave leaned down a bit, the smile on his face going nowhere. "That means JJ's ok and she's going to get better."

Jack's little face lit up and he jumped up and down. "Yay, JJ's better!" Everyone grew even more excited and ecstatic at Jack's little outburst, overjoyed with the knowledge that JJ was going to be fine.

Dave was the first to notice Aaron's lack of movement. "Aaron." The team and Haley looked over, realizing Aaron was still just standing there, staring at nothing at all as he took in the doctor's words.

JJ was alive.

She was going to recover.

_She was alive._

Aaron had never been one for superstitions, but he had given his all to send JJ everything he had while she was in surgery; all his love, all his strength, all his energy, devotion and hope. He would have given her every single piece of himself to her if it had made her wake up. There was nothing in the world he wouldn't give to her. And now she was lying in a hospital bed, out of the operating room, alive.

"Aaron, go sit with her." Aaron registered Dave's voice, but he was still trapped inside his head. He couldn't understand how he could take anything in, how he could feel anything other than the pure elation that had engulfed him the second the doctor had confirmed his only hope, but there was still a nagging guilt that clung to him as though it was a part of him. He was still the sole reason JJ was lying in a hospital bed. He was still the reason she had been taken by a sadistic freak who shot and tried to kill her. Everything was still his fault.

How could he sit beside her and hold her hand and tell her just how much he loved her like he _deserved_ to be there?

"Hotch?" Aaron honestly had no idea which member of the team had spoken his name, but it pulled him slightly out of his altered state of mind. He glanced at all of them, his eyes focusing on Dave for a moment before he looked away again, his eyes sticking to the double doors. "What-"

"Aaron." Dave stepped forward and got right in Aaron's eye line as he stared his best friend right in the eyes. "JJ sat in that chair the whole time you were in surgery, blaming herself for not getting to you faster." Aaron didn't need to look at the chair Dave was pointing at; he and JJ had discussed everything about his own visit to the hospital for him to know it was true. "But the second she had the option of being near you, she took it without any hesitation. If you don't go sit by the woman you love, hold her hand, and tell her that you love her…"

Aaron pushed open the double doors before Dave even had a chance to finish.

* * *

JJ had no idea what was going on, but she was pretty certain everything in life was perfect. She felt like she was floating or flying, her whole body euphoric with the peaceful state of being that seemed to be emitting from every part of her. She could hear voices–random people she was sure she'd never met before–and she could feel all the touches to her body–moving her somewhere else, checking her, squeezing her hand–but she was so disoriented she couldn't make anything out for certain. She wanted to get out of the fog and figure out what was going on, but she was warm, comfortable, and so incredibly peaceful she didn't ultimately care to ever get out.

Amongst the voices and touches that all began to mix into one another, she felt one touch that electrified her to her core. She couldn't understand what it was about this particular touch that seemed to rock her entire world and throw everything slightly off balance, but it felt like it was supposed to be that way; that her life was supposed to be slightly off balance, if only because that was the result of this particular touch. It felt so perfect, so exactly right to be touched by this particular presence, and she realized _this_ was a euphoric experienced in and of itself. She just wished she could figure out which feeling to give in to; this perfect touch or ultimate euphoria.

Then she heard his voice. It wasn't precise, instead slightly unfocused just like the others, and she still couldn't make out the words above her. But no matter what state she was in, JJ would know that voice anywhere, and she finally knew who was touching her in such a wonderfully perfect way. She no longer felt any conflict of which to give in to; if she followed Aaron's voice out of the fog, she could see his face, touch his hand in response, and that would be better than she could ever imagine.

_Goddamn, why is everything so hazy?_ She tried blinking her eyes, but she realized they were closed. Her eyes fluttered beneath her eyelids as she refocused her efforts on opening her eyes. She felt the pressure tighten on her hands and Aaron's voice, while still muffled and unclear, became stronger as it continued to guide her. She tried to speak, but the action required more energy than she had inside her, so she forfeited the endeavor and focused on opening her eyes. Seeing Aaron would be just as wonderful as speaking to him.

JJ focused her entire being into one central point inside her, which she then focused on opening her eyes. It was exhausting and uncomfortable, like it was unnatural for her to even attempt, but she could still hear Aaron's encouragement above her. His voice strengthened her resolve every single time it faltered until she _finally_ opened her eyes and saw him.

It took her several moments before she could finally truly focus on him–why were the lights so _fucking_ bright?–but she had never been so amply rewarded in all her life when she finally did. She wanted to cry at the utter exhaustion in Aaron's eyes; there was so much guilt and pain in his eyes that it almost killed her. But above everything else, she saw the look of absolute love in his eyes, and that was more important than anything else in the entire world.

Aaron had been sitting at her bedside from the moment he pushed through the double doors, and the doctors had warned him that it might take hours, even days, for JJ to wake up. He had slumped into the chair at her bedside, unable to take his eyes off the beautiful, strong, amazing woman lying before him.

Everything inside him took a back seat to the love that poured out of him at being beside her once again. He could see her with his own eyes, he could touch her with his own hands, and he could speak to her without obstruction. She was there, right there, right before him, and he would never let her go again.

He had gently taken her hand, holding the delicate and beautiful piece of JJ between his hands as though it was the single most precious thing in the entire world. He had started talking to her, tears flowing at first as he apologized again and again in every way he knew how for what he had put her through, for all the anguish that was both behind and ahead of her. But as the tears ceased and he measured the rise and fall of her chest and he took in the peaceful look on her face, he realized his apologizes were no where near as important as the words of love he wanted to wrap JJ in; he continued speaking to her, filling the time with words of his love and adoration for the woman before him.

She had been still for so long it had taken Aaron completely by surprise when he realized her eyes were fluttering beneath her eyelids. He leaned forward, still talking to her, telling her how dearly he loved her and that she needed to wake up, his hands holding hers a bit tighter as he watched JJ come back to him. His entire world erupted in happiness as JJ opened her eyes, taking several moments to adjust and gain orientation before they finally rested on Aaron.

"JJ."

Her eyes recognized him instantly and lit up as they locked onto his. He smiled down at her, one of his hands moving to stroke her cheek as he took in those beautiful blue eyes that were absolute perfection. He didn't think of getting the team or a nurse or the doctor. He didn't think of anything except the fact that JJ was back; she was back, she was awake and she was looking at him as though he were the greatest thing alive. He could feel the love pouring out of him, his entire life coming back to him as he took in the feeling only JJ had the power to make him feel. Everything was perfect as he looked at her and she looked back at him.

The couple just stared at each other as though they had gone through hell and come back together, hand in hand, just as it was meant to be.


	28. Chapter 28

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: First and foremost, I know. I'm a terribly person, and I don't really have a good defense because excuses are worthless. I should have found time to post a chapter before now, and I apologize that I've made you guys wait. You deserve better!

Secondly…two more chapters after this one. I'll definitely make it to thirty, but part of the reason I took so long to post was because I kept fighting the ending of the story. I've had such an amazing time writing this story and I'm sad for it to end, but I simply can't do it justice any other way. These last three chapters may seem slightly strange in terms of the story (they still connect to the plotline), but I wanted to give everyone a proper good-bye after thirty chapters. I'm actually incredibly proud of how this one turned out, and I'm excited to finish the others. Thank-you guys for sticking with the story (and for following me to the end I hope!) and I appreciate all the support and praise I've received. You're all the best!

* * *

"Would you like a glass of water?" Garcia tried to control the tremor in her hands and the shaky rise and fall of her chest as she glanced quickly at Strauss. Her boss's boss was walking–more like stalking in Garcia's personal opinion–up and down the length of the room, which made the technical analyst even more nervous.

"No ma'am." Damn, her voice could not be shakier! If only the profilers outside could be in the room with her to tell her how to hide her anxiety from the ghastly woman before her…

"Are you alright?" Garcia had hoped that if Strauss was seated she wouldn't feel so intimidated, but alas, she was wrong. How in the hell could Strauss ask Garcia if she was alright? JJ was still in the hospital recovering from her two gunshot wounds, Hotch had gotten in even deeper trouble when he adamantly refused to leaver her side–even to speak in his own defense at his own personal misconduct hearing–and now it was up to the team to either save him or condemn him. One wrong answer, one little mistake, and Garcia would blame herself for the rest of her life.

She took a shaky breath and nodded, mentally prepping for Strauss's next question. "Do you think Agent Hotchner's conduct was appropriate for a unit chief of the FBI?" Strauss smirked for just a brief second, and Garcia knew this was _the_ question; Morgan, always looking out for his baby girl, had warned her that there would be one question aimed at shaking them to their core in order to make their confidence in Hotch falter. If that was true, there was no doubt in Garcia's mind that this was that question.

Garcia's immediate instinct was to jump straight to Hotch's defense, but she paused without even realizing it. She wanted to defend Hotch more than anything, but she couldn't answer purely on instinct. She had to be true to herself and what she honestly believed.

Garcia had never been so happy than the moment she saw JJ smile at her team when they were finally allowed to see her. Garcia had rushed forward, kissing her best friend's cheeks as tears erupted from deep within her. It took her a moment to settle herself and let everyone else have their chance at their media liaison, but as her teammates took turns embracing JJ, Garcia took the moment to embrace her unit chief. Hotch was startled to have a hysterical bleach-blonde technical analyst clinging to him, but she held on to him as tightly as she could.

She could barely speak through her tears. "Thank-you Hotch, thank-you so much! You brought her back to us. Oh she's alive because of you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!"

The two turned instantly at the sound of JJ's laugh. Garcia sill had her arms around Hotch and Rossi had JJ's hands in his, but JJ and Aaron were staring only at each other. JJ's smile couldn't have been bigger. "He sure did."

And JJ's confidence and absolute certainty in that moment gave Garcia her answer. The tougher-than-nails tech analyst sat up straight and stared Strauss right in the eye. "I stand behind Agent Hotchner and his actions one hundred percent. He did what anyone would have done and I personally think he was completely justified in his actions."

JJ would be laughing hysterically at the ultimate badass look on Garcia's face and the utter shock displayed on Strauss's.

* * *

"**Agent Rossi**. Can we please get back to the matter at hand and finish this?" God, Dave loved pissing Erin Strauss off so much he wanted to do a little dance. He had considered filing an official request to teach 'How to Piss Off Federal Bureaucrats' at the Academy, but Strauss had gotten so pissed the first time he given her the write-up, he was genuinely concerned she'd chuck her computer at his head if he made a second effort.

"I'm waiting for your last question, Erin." Next to late night scotch meetings in the office with Aaron and flirting with the veteran receptionist who swore she'd never have an office hook-up (Dave was only one perfectly timed arrangement of carnations away from ruining that reputation), making Strauss this incredibly angry was the greatest fun he had as an FBI agent.

Strauss leaned forward, her arms crossed as she spoke clearly. "Do you think Agent Hotchner's conduct was appropriate for an FBI agent?"

Oh sweet Jesus. Really? This was the big-guns question Strauss had up her sleeve? Dave wanted to roll his eyes but he just stared straight at the she-bitch across from him.

Even if Aaron wasn't Dave's best friend for the past God knows how many years, even if Dave didn't love JJ like a daughter…even if Dave loathed the both of them to their very core, he would still fully support Aaron's actions with every ounce of who he was. There wasn't a single part of who Dave was that disagreed with Aaron's conduct. Foyet had threatened JJ's safety and life simply to get a rise out of Aaron, and Dave applauded the younger man for rising to the occasion and giving Foyet exactly what the sadistic bastard deserved.

Aaron did the only think he possibly could have done to keep JJ, himself, the team, and the public safe from George Foyet. Dave knew that, JJ knew that, the entire team knew that, and Dave knew even Strauss knew that. It'd be a hell of a challenge to find someone who would've acted any differently given the extreme circumstances Aaron was faced with; he was protecting the woman he loved, as well as any potential victim to cross paths with George Foyet. Aaron was doing what he had to do to keep everyone safe, so why should he be punished just because he got personal justice at the same time?

Dave leaned forward, arms crossed, mimicking Strauss's position as he spoke directly into the tape recorder before him.

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

* * *

"Agent Reid, did Agent Hotchner's conduct as an active agent and unit chief follow in accordance with FBI protocol?"

Reid didn't need an IQ of 187 to know that Chief Strauss hadn't worded this question so academically for the others; she hadn't even looked up from her paper as she read it to him. As the elite profiling team at Quantico, each profiler knew a question would be asked to try to shake their support of their unit chief and Reid knew instantly that this was the question. Even with his social ineptitude, the young genius found it humorous that the higher up bureaucrat was trying to play mind games with the lead profiling team in the nation.

Reid loved his entire team fully and unconditionally. Even at their worst moments, every team member was supported, taken care of, defended, respected, protected, and loved to the fullest extent; it's how the team functioned and survived through everything they all went through over the years.

Aaron Hotchner and Jennifer Jareau stood as the parental figures of that system. JJ had been acting-mom in some form to all of them from the beginning. Hotch would lay down his life for any member of his team without a second thought. His support and unconditional devotion to his team was unwavering at all times. Even when Reid couldn't shoot a gun, even when he struggled with his drug addiction, even when his own mind took over and ran too fast for him to keep up with, Hotch was at the core of Reid's support team.

There was no one like JJ in the world and Reid would never have recovered if she hadn't been saved. But Reid couldn't let his personal feelings toward Hotch and JJ cloud the truth. He stared at Strauss as he gave his professional opinion as requested. "Yes ma'am. Agent Hotchner's conduct was never inappropriate or personally vindictive in nature; he acted in complete accordance to the safety and welfare of himself, his team, and the general public. He absolutely did what was necessary."

Naturally, Strauss had no refuting argument to throw back at him. Reid couldn't remember the last time out-smarting someone had felt _this_ good.

* * *

"Do you think Agent Hotchner's behavior was in accordance with FBI protocol?"

Prentiss audibly scoffed, terribly unsurprised with the ridiculous nature of Strauss's ultimate question. To be honest, she was just shocked that Strauss was even trying to play games with the profilers, but apparently Strauss was a _very_ slow learner.

Prentiss knew that Reid would give the logical answer, Garcia the emotional answer, Morgan the professional answer, and Rossi the smartass answer that was designed to piss off Strauss the most. Prentiss knew her response would be the political answer, but she hoped she could throw a little bit of Rossi's influence in there as well.

There was no other group of people in the world who could do what this BAU team could do; they were truly like no other team in the world. But even at their best, even pushing themselves beyond their breaking point, they couldn't have saved JJ if the task had been solely left in their hands. The only person who could have saved JJ's life from George Foyet had done just that.

Hotch was the only reason JJ was alive. JJ had been the very first person to say so after she woke up. She had said exactly that in front of the whole team, and every member of the team–excluding Hotch, but JJ would bring him around before too long–couldn't agree with her more. Hotch was truly the reason the team had JJ back.

"Without question." Prentiss saw Strauss prepare to follow-up, so she sat up and stared hard at the woman across from her. "Foyet was sadistic, ruthless, uncontrollable, and unfeeling. He would have killed both Agent Hotchner and Agent Jareau without flinching. If we had simply arrested him, he would have dedicated his life to getting out just so he could kill again, and he would start with Agent Hotchner and this team. And I truly believe he would have done just that. Agent Hotchner did exactly what he should have done."

Prentiss absolutely loved the disappointed and utterly pissed off look on Strauss's face. She basked in the glory of her accomplishment, wondering how she could piss off the Section Chief even more. She leaned back in her chair but kept her stare hard and strong. "Ma'am."

* * *

"Do you think Agent Hotchner acted as an FBI agent and unit chief should have acted?" The tape recorder only taped silence following the single most repeated question of the day. "Agent Morgan."

Morgan still didn't answer, but he wasn't thinking of anything but the question asked. He knew Strauss would appeal to his sense of duty as an agent; no other member of the team had such a desire to eventually lead their own team and Morgan wasn't stupid enough to think Strauss wouldn't try to use that to her advantage.

As acting unit chief the past few months, Morgan knew even more that one day he wanted his own team. He was a born leader and he would be one of the best unit chiefs in FBI history. He wanted to lead a team, his **own** team. He knew a lot of his leadership abilities were so well developed because of Hotch, but they were also an intrinsically natural part of who he was. He was born to be a leader.

"Agent Morgan, the Bureau is very impressed with how you've handled your responsibilities as acting unit chief of the BAU. If Agent Hotchner's conduct proves to have been unbecoming of his position, a permanent change-"

"Yes." The two agents stared at each other for a moment, one growing more and more excited at the potential outcome of the conversation at hand while the other remained entirely neutral. Strauss hated her inability to accurately read the profilers of the BAU team but before she could further question the agent in front of her, he broke the silence, his voice calm and collected as ever. "Yes I believe Agent Hotchner acted as an FBI agent _and_ unit chief should have acted. Not only was own life in immediate danger but he had a missing agent, a member of his team, relying on him to save her life. Hotch would do anything to protect any member of this team, his team, and he did just that by protecting Agent Jareau from George Foyet."

There was nothing in the world this woman could offer him that would make him break his allegiance to Hotch. He knew Hotch was completely justified in his actions; killing George Foyet was the only way of protecting himself, his agent, and the public. But Morgan knew with absolute certainty that Hotch hadn't been thinking of himself or anyone else when he had beaten Foyet to death with his bare hands. Foyet had threatened and hurt the love of Hotch's life–a member of his team–and Hotch had made him pay for it.

Strauss was close to cringing under the intense stare she was receiving from Agent Morgan. "This is Hotch's team and he will stop at nothing to protect it. He did what he had to do…as an FBI unit chief."

Morgan hoped he would one day have the courage to protect his own team like Hotch protected his.

* * *

_Second author's note: Ok, so while not technically fitting with the roman__tic, Jotch-shipping nature of this story, I knew I had to deal with Hotch's actions regarding his badass killing of George Foyet (am I the only one who found it __**very**__ sexy as well?). I wrote probably four versions of a JJ/Hotch confrontation regarding it, but they all sucked. So I decided the team could get their last little moment of recognition in the story by dealing with that dilemma. Hopefully everyone was written well, and this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks so much for reading, and as always, R&R if you feel it necessary._


	29. Chapter 29

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: One more chapter to go. Man that makes me sad. I apologize for the wait, but it's a lot harder for me to end this one than I thought. I have the very last chapter all written up, and I promise it'll be up by the end of the week. It's going to be so weird to not come back to this one after this week. Thank-you guys so much for staying with it for so long and I really hope the ending doesn't disappoint anyone. You're all so amazing!

* * *

_JJ's Final Perspective_

JJ slowly and delicately rearranged her position on the big, comfy bed, sitting up in an effort to try to hear Aaron as he putzed around in the kitchen. He had headed off a while ago to clean up following dinner after instructing JJ to get some rest, and if JJ didn't know her boyfriend a well as she did, she'd be concerned that it was taking him so long. But JJ just leaned back against the headboard and got comfortable as she waited for him to come back in and check on her, as she knew he would.

Knowing Aaron like she did, JJ knew she had at least another half an hour before Aaron was finished with the dishes and wiping down the table and counters. He could take down an UNSUB, save a victim's life or get a suspect to crack under interrogation in no time at all, but the man took forever doing the most basic domestic task. JJ learned that lesson when it took Aaron over four hours to do one load of laundry.

JJ sunk deeper onto the pillows behind her, a very content smile on her face as she thought about Aaron. She had been released from the hospital and put in Aaron's-and Jack's-care almost a week ago and it made her love the boys even more than before. Never in all her life had she been cared for so diligently, but not once had she felt smothered by either of them. Anything JJ felt strong enough to do she was allowed to do, so long as Aaron was there with her for her first attempt and could easily get to her after each subsequent attempt. JJ had been slightly concerned that Aaron would ultimately be overbearing in his dedication to her recovery, but he had been the perfect balance of protective and calm the whole week.

And then there was Jack. Jack positively _loved_ taking care of JJ. The little guy had always been smitten with the blonde, pretty lady his dad worked with, but once he understood that she and Aaron were officially together and in love, he all but freaked out. He had refused to go to school the first day JJ was released from the hospital, and he had somehow outsmarted Haley and the team, resulting in a bouncy Jack Hotchner screaming "Welcome home JJ!" as soon as Aaron led her into the apartment. He had "cooked" for her, gotten her more blankets, read to her (as best he could), told her about his day, listened to her talk about her day, watched movies with her, and tucked her in before he went to bed every chance he got.

JJ actually giggled to herself as she remembered the earlier events of the day. Jack had rushed in after school, gently but forcefully bouncing on the bed as he gave JJ a play-by-play of his entire school day. JJ had caught Aaron's eye as Jack began and she couldn't place the look on his face as he watched the two interact from the doorway. He didn't look upset or concerned, but something was definitely on his mind. She tried not to worry and focused all her energy on Jack until he was finished. Aaron went to go start dinner as Jack rushed off to finish his homework, following JJ's promise that if he got everything done before dinner, they could curl up and watch a movie.

After sitting in the quiet bedroom for a few minutes, trying to place the look on Aaron's face, she gently got up and headed toward the kitchen. She stopped just outside Jack's room, listening in when she heard Aaron's voice coming from inside.

"_Yeah buddy JJ's sleeping. I just wanted to talk to you about something important, ok?"_

_JJ paused, resting against the door lightly to take the weight off her body. She knew she shouldn't be listening in on her boyfriend's private conversation with his son, but her curiosity got the better of her. She was waiting for Jack to respond and was taken aback when it was Aaron's voice she heard. "I was thinking about asking JJ to move in here and live with us. Would that be ok?"_

_JJ gasped and quickly covered her mouth, hoping the two men behind the door didn't hear her. She couldn't believe what Aaron had just said; he wants her to move in with him? JJ had no idea Aaron was even thinking about making such a change in their relationship. He hadn't mentioned anything to her, but it made sense that Jack should be consulted first before any drastic changes were made._

_Her heart was beating faster and faster each second that passed. What if Jack didn't want her to live here? She loved that little boy like nothing else, and she knew that he liked having her around. But doesn't every kid dream of their divorced parents getting back together? She couldn't stop herself from thinking that maybe Jack was only ok with their relationship up to a certain point; moving in together may push things too far. _

"_You mean like you and Mommy used to live together?" JJ tensed up completely and she imagined Aaron doing the same._

"_Yeah, liked we used to."_

_There were a few moments of silence, and while JJ didn't want to get her hopes up, she couldn't stop herself from imagining how wonderful it would be to call this place her home. She already felt so comfortable here, almost as though it was already partly hers, but in all time she spent here, she never wanted to overstep her boundaries. She knew without a doubt that the rest of her life would revolve around Aaron and Jack, and that was all she wanted. She couldn't wait for her life with Aaron to start, and if Aaron wanted her to move in, she would say yes without a shred of hesitation. _

_The revelation that JJ was ready to move in with Aaron came at her and almost took her to her knees. She had never been so ready to take a relationship to the next level; hell she had never even really considered moving in with Will and they dated double the time Aaron and JJ had been together. She had never imagined that she would be __**so**__ ready to dedicate the rest of her life to someone; she always thought that kind of life–the wife, the house, the kids, the happily-ever-after-until-death-do-us-part–just wasn't in the cards for her. But when she looked at Aaron, she saw all of that and so, so much more._

"_I'd like it."_

_JJ froze completely, so wrapped up in her own dreams and desires that she forgot to brace herself for Jack's reaction. Her heart did multiple cartwheels when she heard the excitement in Jack's voice, and she hoped Aaron was feeling the same thing. "Really buddy?"_

"_Yeah! JJ promised we could make a fort and have a sleepover and now we can have sleepovers all the time!"_

_Aaron chuckled and JJ felt tears well-up in her eyes. God she loved that little boy like crazy! "Jack…are you really ok if I ask JJ to move in and live here? That'd be ok with you?"_

"_I love JJ daddy, don't you?"_

_The first tear managed to escape JJ's eye._

"_Of course I do buddy."_

"_Good, then you should ask her so she can pack her stuff."_

_Aaron laughed again and it made JJ's heart soar. "Well we have to wait until she's all better first."_

"_So she won't move in for a while?" JJ smiled at the slight disappointment in Jack's voice, glad that he was just as unhappy with having to wait as she was._

"_Yeah, but you have to do me the biggest favor, ok? You have to promise me that you won't say anything to JJ, ok? We want to surprise her, right?"_

"_Right!"_

"_So you promise this is just our little secret?"_

"_Does Mommy know?"_

_JJ's heart stopped; Haley! How was Haley going to react if they moved in together?_

"_Well, Mommy already knows so you can talk to her about it, but no one else, ok?'_

_JJ froze again, shocked that Aaron had talked to Haley about it and even more shocked that Haley had apparently approved. She knew Haley and she had always thought very highly of each other, but JJ would be lying if she said she had expected her to be so incredibly accepting of her relationship with Aaron._

"_Not even Aunt Penny?"_

"_**Especially**__ not Aunt Penny? No body but you and me and Mommy, ok?"_

"_Ok!"_

_JJ heard Aaron chuckled again and headed back to the bedroom, completely overwhelmed by the conversation she had just heard._

JJ's mind finally returned to reality as Aaron's head entered the doorframe; she could tell from the look on his face that he had only intended to check on her, to make sure she was resting, and leave her be. As soon as he realized she wasn't sleeping, he gave her a smile and leaned his body against the doorframe. Aaron had smiled at her thousands of times over the course of their years together, but it still made her heart skip a beat every time. "Hey you."

JJ stretched a bit, careful to not disrupt any sensitive spot on her still recovering body. "Hi."

"You ok, can I get you anything?" JJ smiled as she saw the look of concern and devotion in Aaron's eyes; no man in her life had ever loved her so completely and unconditionally, and it always knocked her off her feet when she realized just how lucky she was. She loved Aaron with everything inside her, and she knew he loved her just the same.

"Sweetheart?" JJ didn't even realize she had tears in her eyes until she heard the worry in Aaron's voice. She chuckled and gave him a smile, gesturing to the other side of the bed.

"Come lay down with me?"

Aaron gave her a big grin before walking over, laying next to her on the big bed, shoes and all. He reached over and wrapped an arm around her waist, planting a kiss on her forehead before resting his head on the pillow right next to hers. "Don't have to ask me twice!"

JJ laughed and nestled closer to him, reaching up to rest her palm against his cheek. The two just stared at each other with smiles on their faces, both overwhelmingly happy just to be lying with the person they loved.

"Aaron?" He perked up at the sound of JJ's voice but JJ just bit her lip.

She wanted to tell him she'd move in with him if he asked. She wanted to tell him that it's all she wanted in the whole world, to live with him and wake up to him and go to sleep with him. She wanted to tell him that she'd marry him and be with him and Jack for the rest of her life. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to have babies with him and give Jack a houseful of brothers and sisters, which would eventually grow into grandsons and granddaughters they could surround themselves with as they grew old together. There was nothing she wanted more than to spend every moment of the rest of her life at Aaron's side, and she wanted to tell him everything right then and there.

But JJ just smiled and leaned forward, her lips molding perfectly against Aaron's as his arm wrapped just a little tighter around her waist. "I love you."

Aaron smiled and kissed her again. "I love you."

JJ shifted, moving her head to rest under his chin as she buried herself in Aaron's chest, surrounding herself with him as the smile stayed plastered on her face. JJ had her whole life to love Aaron, and she'd make sure she told him that every day. There was no need to rush.


	30. Chapter 30

**Love in the Time of Chaos**

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I can't believe this is it. The very last chapter of Love in the Time of Chaos. I just wanted to thank **everyone** for all the support you've given this story. Just knowing that people continued to read each and every chapter is more than I could ask for, and your kind words and reviews were the cherry on top. I hope you've all enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing, and again, thank-you!

* * *

_Aaron's Final Perspective_

Aaron held his stomach tightly as the laughter burst from deep inside of him, a thin layer of tears forming in his eyes as he tried unsuccessfully to control himself. His position from the porch where he was currently overseeing an entire grill of burgers gave him the perfect view of what had just transpired. Reid, in an attempt to kick the soccer ball past Goalie Garcia, missed his intended target completely as his foot made perfect contact with Morgan's groin.

As the rest of the profilers on the field–also known as Dave's expansively huge backyard at his cabin–tried not to fall on their asses laughing, Reid ran as far away from Morgan as humanly possible. Only Jack ran over to Morgan, who was bent over and breathing heavily as he tried not to throw up. "Come on Uncle Morgan, we gotta get the ball back!"

Aaron's smile grew as he watched JJ swoop down, capturing Jack in her arms as she swung him around, his son positively squealing with laughter. JJ had taken Jack under her wing after he had expressed a passionate interest in soccer and the two had been practicing nonstop the past few weeks. Jack definitely had a natural talent and playing for hours on end helped JJ regain her strength. Aaron joined in every so often, usually playing the role of goalie so JJ could teach Jack a new trick or tactic. But most of the time Aaron secretly preferred to just sit on the sidelines and watch.

Watching JJ with Jack was the greatest joy Aaron had ever experienced. They both glowed with happiness the second they were in the same room. Jack loved spending time at his dad's more than ever now that JJ was always around. JJ always tried to offer to give Aaron and Jack some alone time, but Aaron never took her up on it; JJ and Jack were the two people Aaron loved most in the world and he'd never turn down an opportunity to be with either of them. The fact that they were both crazy about each other was simply the best perk in the world.

Dave, noticing Aaron would rather watch JJ and Jack than keep the burgers from burning to a crisp, stepped away from his porch-bar, scotch in hand, and headed over to the grill. Aaron turned his attention quickly to Dave as a hand slapped his back. He gave his friend a smile before turning back to the burgers, looking up once again when he heard Jack scream with laughter. "Hi Dad!" Jack and JJ both waved from the field before turning back to the game as Dave began to subtlety profile his glowing friend.

"Jack and JJ sure do seem to get along well." He chuckled with Aaron as JJ snuck in and stole the ball from Prentiss, quickly shooting it to Jack who easily took control of the ball as JJ cheered him on.

"They're madly in love with each other." Dave and Aaron shared a grin as Aaron took the burgers off the grill, making room so Dave could put a fresh set on the grill.

"You and JJ talked about your future yet?" He glanced over at Aaron, whose attention was focused intently on the grill.

"Not officially."

Dave raised an eyebrow but Aaron was nonchalant as he tended to the burgers. "How about unofficially?"

Aaron looked over at Dave with a neutral look on his face but Dave could still see the happy twinkle in his eye. "I'm going to marry her Dave."

Even all his years and years profiling at the BAU couldn't keep the surprise off Dave's face. "I thought you said you would never get remarried after Haley."

Aaron shrugged, secretly pleased that he managed to take Dave by surprise. His attention kept shifting between Dave, the burgers, and the blonde on the field playing soccer with his son. "She's the one. I love her more than anything else, and Jack's absolutely crazy about her. I know we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. Marrying her is the only other thing I need."

Dave smiled, turning his attention to his friends playing soccer in his backyard. "Sounds like a good plan. Just tell me you're not going to take as long to propose to her as you did telling her you love her."

Aaron sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I know. I wasted a lot of time with her…"

"Nah, you guys weren't ready."

It was Aaron's turn to look surprised. "Really?"

Dave shook his head, his attention still focused on the soccer game. "You both were occupied with other things the whole time. It wouldn't have lasted if you two hadn't taken the time you did to truly dedicate yourselves to each other. Plus, you're both too damn stubborn for you own good." Aaron chuckled, unable to argue and Dave shot him a smile. "You and JJ are perfect for each other, Aaron. You really are."

Aaron smiled, glancing at JJ before returning his gaze to his friend. "Thanks Dave."

"Plus, Morgan and I will love to plan your bachelor party."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Aren't we a little old for all that?"

Dave shrugged. "Probably."

"Wonderful."

"Hey, Garcia and Prentiss…"

"…will be ten times worse." The two profilers shared a laugh as Dave gave Aaron's shoulder a squeeze, heading down to the field. "Food's ready guys, come on and eat!"

Aaron watched as the team–his extended family–came up to grab some food, Morgan and Reid leading the way as the two joked around; Morgan gave the young genius a nudge with his shoulder that sent poor Reid staggering forward. Garcia, one arm wrapped around Kevin, poked her chocolate Adonis with her free hand as she chastised him for picking on her baby Reid. Prentiss and Dave followed behind, the pair leaned in close as they shared a joke intended only for the two of them. After a few lasting kicks of the soccer ball, Jack grabbed JJ's hand and the two followed the team onto the porch.

Aaron sat back and watched the pair for a moment. JJ grabbed three plates, three napkins, and three sets of silverware, passing one set to Jack as she easily handled hers and Aaron's. She followed behind Jack as they went down the line, explaining and helping Jack to get everything he wanted before taking care of the plates in her hands. The two made their way to the table, Jack taking a seat next to Prentiss as JJ put Aaron's plate next to Jack's and hers to Aaron's right. After ensuring Jack was happily digging into his dinner, JJ stood up, her eyes scanning the expansive backyard until they finally rested on Aaron.

And in that moment, Aaron couldn't remember a time when he had agreed with Dave more: he and JJ **were** perfect for each other. There was no one in the world more perfectly designed for him than the woman in front of him. And there was nothing in the world that compared to her in his eyes. JJ was perfect and Aaron would love her with all his heart and soul for the rest of his life.

He watched, a small smile on his face as JJ made her way over to him, brushing her bangs out of her face. "Hey you. You ready to eat, you seem pretty deep in thought over-"

Aaron met her two steps early, his hands attaching to her waist as he pulled her forward, kissing her mercilessly with all the love he had inside of him. He could feel the instant shock run through JJ's body before she relaxed, giggling to herself as she responded, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. The kiss lasted only a brief moment, but everyone could see the love radiating off their unit chief and media liaison.

Garcia and Prentiss let out a cat call as the two broke away while the guys–with the exception of Reid, who naturally didn't understand what was going on–called out their own encouragement. The team was still amazed every time they saw any public displays of affection between their happy couple, especially when Aaron was the instigator. They were all positively ecstatic for their friends, but it was still strange to see.

Morgan nudged Jack from across the table, a playful smile on his face. "Does that gross you out when your dad and JJ kiss?"

Jack looked intently at the burger in his hands before turning to Morgan, a confused look on his face. "Noooooo? They love each other, isn't that what people do when they love each other?"

Everyone at the table chuckled at Jack's logic, once again amazed at how incredibly insightful such a young boy could be. Dave nodded at Jack. "You're exactly right, Jack."

"Statistically speaking-"

"Shut it Reid!" The table laughed and continued their meal as Aaron led JJ back to the table, JJ stopping to kiss the top of Reid's and Jack's heads before taking her seat at the table.

Aaron took his seat next to Jack, leaning over to rub Jack's hair as his son devoured his burger, ketchup all over his face. Aaron chuckled, glancing at the blonde beside him as she ate her own burger, laughing at some story being passed around the table. Aaron wasn't sure why he was feeling so exceptionally drawn to JJ, but he couldn't stay away from her. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, keeping his mouth close to her ear.

"I love you."

JJ blushed slightly, leaning back in her chair to give Aaron a quick yet lingering kiss. "I love you too." She gave him a peck on the cheek before giving him a serious but silly look. "Now eat your damn burger."

Aaron chuckled and sat up, finally digging into his own food. As he sat, surrounded by the chaos of his family, his son completely covered in grass stains and food, and his arm resting on the back of the chair of the woman he loved, he realized his life was absolutely perfect.

"_The pleasure of love is in loving." Duc De La Rochefoucauld_


End file.
